Raoul's Girl
by TeresaDelay
Summary: AU Where Raoul and Buri do not get together. What happens when Lady Jaid of Stone Mountain catches Raoul's eye? A rebellion, a prophecy, romance and angst.
1. Chapter 1

This is an AU story about Raoul and a romance he has. I am huge Raoul/Buri fan, but I always wondered what would happen if one of those silly court girls caught his attention......

-----

Raoul pushed his food around the plate in front of him, silently counting down the number of minutes before he could get up fro

Raoul pushed his food around the plate in front of him, silently counting down the number of minutes before he could get up from the dinner table and the number of minutes before he could leave this cursed ball. As his new squire, Kel, poured him wine, she smiled at him encouragingly, though looked warily at his equally silent dinner partner. Jonathan had made good on his threat, and since Raoul had disobeyed him, he had Lady Jaid of Stone Mountain seated next to him. While slightly better than a matchmaking mother, the 22 year-old older sister of Joren of Stone Mountain was still quite a punishment. Although, she hadn't been chattering much. In fact, she hadn't spoken a word. Raoul grinned, honestly this punishment could have been a lot worse.

"Can I ask you a question?" Lady Jaid said, breaking the silence out of the blue.

Raoul groaned internally, apparently he had got ahead of himself. "Of course Lady. What is it you would like to know?" he asked politely.

Lady Jaid looked up at him with her lovely ice blue eyes and said, all in one breath, "This is going to seem so random, but I figure you would know and you won't yell at me for reading a book, since I'm guessing you let you're female squire read, or at least wouldn't object to a woman reading. I'm getting off subject. Anyways, what I wanted to ask was you know the book by Sir Blane _New __Battle Strategies_? Well, in it he talks about Lord Ramish coming up with this brilliant new strategy for how to use catapults, and I totally don't get it. I mean it's just taking up a ton more manpower, and only sending the stones slightly farther. Why is this so brilliant?"

Raoul stared at her for a moment, completely overwhelmed by the speed of her speech, which all seemed to slur together in one continuous word. Once he was able to comprehend her, he again paused in an attempt to process how the daughter of a notorious conservative had managed to ask him such an intelligent question about battle strategy. He snapped out of his thoughts to see her giving him an odd look. Finally, he said, "The reason you're confused is that Sir Blane failed to mention that Lord Ramish was attacking a double wall. This strategy allowed him to hit both walls simultaneously, thus significantly reducing the time it took to break through to the actual castle. Blane is brilliant, but has a tendency to skip important details like that."

"Oh, I see, but wait, why couldn't he use the strategy used in the siege on Panden castle?"

"It's because of the way the slope of the hill was. Here I'll show you," Raoul answered, creating little walls with his food. The two happily chatted about battle strategy for the rest of the evening, Raoul continuing to use food as a way to show her.

Across the room, King Jonathan frowned as he looked over at Raoul's table. "My dear, did Lady Jaid of Stone Mountain just catapult peas across the table?" he asked his wife.

"What? I didn't see that. You must be..." Queen Thayet trailed off as she noticed Lady Jaid blushing and steadfastly not looking down the table where Lord Verace was wiping peas of his tunic and looking about in confusion. Raoul's shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. "It looks like your punishment didn't work out so well," she said with a grin. "What on earth are those two doing? It looks like they're talking about....battle strategies."

Jonathan scowled. "I knew I should have sat him with a mother, but with Lady Jaid being newly presented at court it seemed the perfect opportunity."

"She was presented quite late. She's older than her brother Joren, isn't she?" Thayet said.

"Yes, her parents decided not to have her presented when she left the convent. They waited until now when her betrothal to Vinson of Genlith was official to present her at court. I don't know why exactly," Jonathan replied.

Thayet sighed, "That poor girl. If Raoul is enjoying her company this much, I have trouble believing she will enjoy being married into that family."

Jonathan squeezed her hand. "If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's don't underestimate the women of Tortall. I find myself wondering how well Vinson will be able to control a woman who, based on how she's catapulting those peas, has a good grip on battle strategies."

At the end of the dinner, Lord Berchard of Stone Mountain walked over the table where his daughter was sitting and seized her by the arm, dragging her upright. He nodded stiffly at Raoul and then pulled his daughter across the room to administer quite the lecture. Raoul sighed. He hadn't meant the girl to get in trouble, but from the look on Lord Berchard's face, Lady Jaid was often in trouble with her father. He got up and walked over to where Sir Gareth the younger was standing.

Gary grinned at him. "Forty some years old and still tossing peas at the dinner table. What would our old etiquette master say? What were you two doing anyways?"

"She asked me about Sir Blane's book and some of the things he failed to mention. Our food seemed a good tool to demonstrate with. The girl is quite intelligent."

"So, you finally meet the perfect girl and she's a conservative's daughter and betrothed to a Genlith. Only you would do that," Gary teased with a grin.

Raoul rolled his eyes. "I'm old enough to be her father. Wait, she's the one that was just betrothed to Vinson?" he asked. When Gary nodded he sighed. "Kel's mentioned him before. He's a nasty sort I think. That poor girl."

"Well, I need to go talk to some people. You going to stay against the wall and try to pretend you don't exist?"

Raoul nodded, and settled his bulk against the stones behind him, hoping to go unnoticed. Not long after, Buri walked over to where he was standing.

"Mind if I hide over here with you?" she asked.

"Not at all," Raoul answered with a grin.

"Seems like you enjoyed your dinner partner," Buri said slyly.

"Why is everyone so amused by this?"

"Because you were more animated and relaxed with that little conservative girl then you have ever been at a party before."

Raoul rolled his eyes. "It's not her fault who her father is. She's a smart girl. I liked having someone to talk battle strategies with."

"That's what you were talking about? I thought you just both had bonded over a shared hatred of that noble you kept hitting with peas. Where did she learn battle strategies?"

Raoul shrugged, scanning the room to look for the clinging pale blue fabric of Lady Jaid's dress. "She'd read some books about battle strategy," he said, spotting the girl laughing in a corner, her conversation partner blocked by the slew of people between them.

As the crowd parted, Buri said, "Ah, it all suddenly becomes clear."

"What?" Raoul said.

"She's talking to Lady Margaret haMinch. You've heard about Maggie. Everyone knows she left the convent and joined the Riders against Padraig's wishes."

"Actually, I heard Padraig admit to being proud of her the other day."

"Good, I'm not surprised actually. It was always pretty clear that she had always been his favorite and that's how she accidentally ended up a damn fine commander. You can't shadow that man and not become one. I knew he'd come around. There was never even a suggestion of disownment after all, or even marriage suggestions before she joined the Riders. Anyway, my point was that she always tells these stories about her and her best friend sneaking out of the palace to have wild adventures in the city. I think you may have been sitting with this mysterious best friend."

"What kind of stories?" he asked, smiling as their topic of conversation threw her head back in a hearty, though improper, laugh.

"Apparently they once went to some inn and played first one down with a squad of the Own that was there. It was Dom's squad. Maggie claims that one of the Own went down first and she and her best friend went pint for pint with them men and definitely held their own. Dom's squad, when confronted, failed to deny this story. Make no mistake, that girl is a party animal."

"She seemed so sweet," Raoul said sadly.

Buri laughed, "That doesn't mean she's not sweet. Maggie's a sweetheart. Well, in her way. She cares about people a lot."

Raoul raised an eyebrow. "I'll take your word that," he said dryly. "All I know is that my men are fluctuating between admiring and terrified of her."

Buri laughed. "Mine too for that matter, which is what makes her a fine commander. She knows when to intimidate, when to baby and when to impress. She really is just like her father. If her stories are true, your little Blue Jay is certainly not her father's daughter."

Raoul rolled his eyes, "She is not my Blue Jay. She's not my anything. How are your recruits looking?"

Successfully changing the subject, Raoul spent the rest of the evening chatting with Buri about the Riders and the Own, before retiring back to his room.

----

Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Forgot the disclaimer last time--it's Tamora Pierce's world and characters of course.

I promise, stick with the story and it picks up pretty quickly in the next few chapters.....

-----

Two days after the, Raoul was working on reports when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in," he yelled, not bothering to get up.

Lady Jaid walked into the room, dressed in a simple gray dress with a blue sash around her waist and a matching ribbon holding up her blond curls. She dropped a small curtsey, "Lord Raoul, I apologize for dropping in on you unexpectedly, but I was wondering if I could borrow the book you had mentioned before by General Canden?"

"Of course Lady Jaid," Raoul said, standing up quickly and walking across the room to the bookcase.

"Thank you," she said when he handed it to her. "I am going back to Stone Mountain tonight and I will need something to entertain me during the hours I am suppose to be doing needlepoint."

Raoul smiled, "What do you do when you have to produce your needlework?"

"My maid does it for me. She actually likes needlework, and in return I do a lot of the chores she would normally have to do and give her days off when I can do it without my parents noticing. My father thinks servants with spare time get into trouble, which is probably more information than you needed. Well, thank you. I'll bring it back it perfect condition," Jaid left the room as quickly as her words tumbled out of her mouth, leaving Raoul staring blankly at the space she had occupied a second before. Shaking his head, he returned to his desk and resumed working on his reports, an amused smile occasionally spreading across his face as he remembered the girl's visit.

---

Three weeks later, Jaid knocked on Raoul's door while he was going doing a lesson on battle strategy with Kel.

"Thank you for the book, Lord Raoul," she said when she entered, nodding cordially in Kel's direction.

"You're welcome, Lady Jaid. Did you enjoy it?"

"I loved it," Jai gushed. "The whole section on the war with the Bazhir was fascinating. I'd noticed less and less knights were using stallions these days, but I totally did not know why until that book. You ride a gelding don't you? If I were a knight, I'd still be tempted to ride a stallion, but I'm totally biased. Lord Wyldon let's me ride this like super sweet stallion named Boots. I named him when I was like seven because he's yelllowish with black up from his hooves and a black mane and tail. Lord Wyldon wanted to give him to me, but my father wouldn't let me have it because ladies only ride fat stupid ponies, not stallions. Anyway, as usual I'm totally off topic, but yes I loved it. I think it's interesting that he thought peace was impossible between the Bazhir and Tortallans because our customs are so different. He did say the Voice was the key that if the King could convince the Voice that peaceful coexistence was possible the Voice could bring the Bazhir around. I doubt he thought the King would become the Voice though. Still, I did find some of his descriptions of the Bazhir as savages distasteful. I mean someone's customs being different doesn't make them wrong or barbaric. I liked all the stuff on the diplomatic talks around the first treaty with the Bazhir. He was smart, if a total jerk that General."

When the girl had finished her speech, Raoul laughed and said, "Here try this one. It's all about the first talks between Tortallans and Yamanis. I've never read it. The battle strategy interests me far more than the diplomatic strategy, but Gary says its one of the best diplomatic histories, and he'd know."

Jaid beamed up at him. "Does the Knight Commander of the King's Own really have time to be my personal librarian?"

Raoul smiled. "I think I can manage."

Jaid curtseyed her thanks then flounced out, pausing at the door to give him once last smile and a wink before she disappeared down the hallway.

After the door closed, Kel look at Raoul and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have something to say, squire?" Raoul asked.

"Oh, nothing, my lord. Nothing at all," Kel said, a small smile slipping through her normal expressionless mask.

"That's because there's nothing to say."

"You're absolutely right, my lord. Shall we return to the lesson?" she asked, her voice overly innocent.

Grumbling, Raoul resumed moving troops around the map they had been examining before Lady Jaid's interrupted.

-----

Over the next few weeks, these interactions continued, and Raoul found himself looking forward to them. He began to recognize Jaid's happy footsteps clicking along the hallway and the chipper knock at the door. When he left unexpectedly for work with the Own, he began leaving books he thought she'd like on his desk, knowing he'd get a hilarious, speedy and interesting summary of them the next time he saw her.

"Do you always talk that fast?" Raoul asked her one-day, a bemused smile on his face.

Jaid blushed, "Only when I'm nervous."

"You're nervous?"

Jai looked away. "Thanks for the new book, Lord Raoul. Are you going to the Midwinter ball tonight?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Also, drop the Lord, it makes me feel old."

Jaid giggled. "Then please call me Jai. See you there, Raoul" she said and, as usual, darted out the door.

That evening after dinner, Raoul took up his usual post as out of sight as possible. Looking for Jai, he saw her standing in the corner with her father, who had a firm grip on her arm. She saw him looking at her and smiled, then wrinkled her nose in a clear expression of her distaste over her prisoner status. Raoul smiled and then sent a wink her direction before one of the more pompous nobles cornered him. After nearly twenty minutes defending the more practical uniforms the King's Own wore under his command, he managed to disappear to one of the balconies.

"Trying to escape too, are you?" came a Jai's voice from the corner.

Raoul smiled. "Yes, although I suspect I had an easier time of it then you. How did you get your father to let you go?"

"I had to agree to dance with one of my brother's friends, Sir Ansil. I hate that man, but after the dance I managed to hide over here before he saw me. I'm hoping to stay out of his grips for a little bit," Jai responded, her words far more subdued and slower than Raoul was used to hearing.

Raoul studied what he could see of the girl's face, which was mostly hidden in shadow. "What's wrong?" he finally asked.

The girl shrugged and took a big drink out of the glass of wine she was holding. "Some days it just gets to me," she said softly. "Vinson got the day off today, and I had to spend the whole day with him. He's so…" Jai shivered slightly. "I just can't believe that is going to be the rest of my life."

"I'm sorry, Jai," Raoul responded, his voice equally soft. "Usually, you are so cheerful. I forget how difficult things must be for you."

Jai shrugged, turning her head away and taking another big drink of wine. "It is what it is," she responded. "It's hardly you're fault my family is…vile."

Raoul watched a tear role down the girl's cheek, and he felt an ache deep inside of him. Reaching out, he cupped her cheek with his hand wiping the tear away with his thumb. "It's going to be alright, Jai," he said softly.

Turning into him, Jai wrapped her arms around Raoul, crying into his tunic. Unsure of what to do, Raoul finally settled on awkwardly patting her back and making sushing noises.

After a few minutes had passes, Jai let out a watery giggle. Straightening, she wiped the last of her tears away and said, "You don't comfort crying women often do you?"

Raoul smiled. "My inexperience is that obvious?"

Jai smiled back at him. "Yes, but you didn't do bad for a beginner." Turning, she picked up her wine glass and drained in. "Back in I go." About to walk out, she paused, turned and stood up on her tip-toes and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Raoul. For everything," she said softly, before re-entering the crowded room.

Raoul stayed out on the balcony a while longer, anger washing over him. Finally, he walked back in and saw Jai talking to Sir Ansil again, or rather being talked to. She simply offered fake looking smiles every few minutes and continued drinking frequently. When Kel came over and asked him to talk to Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami, he was glad for an excuse to leave the room. He spent the rest of the evening talking with Kel and her friends, trying to ignore his nagging worry about Jai.

-----

Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: You know its not really mine......

------

As Raoul and Buri guided a miserable Third Company and four squads of Riders through a dense forest and pouring rain, Raoul tried to think of happy things. The dead children they'd found in the spidrens next earlier that day were hanting his thoughts. As he tried to distract himself, an image of Jai as he'd last seen her appeared before him. She'd stopped by his study right before he'd left to get books. She'd been wearing a periwinkle dress and her hair was pinned back in a bun at her neck with a large flower the exact shade of her dress tucked behind her ear. She hadn't mentioned the chat they had at the ball, acting as though nothing new had happened. He remembered the ring of laugh, and the twirl of happiness she'd done when given the books and the last smile she'd given to him over her shoulder as she left the room. He wondered if she'd picked up the books he left for her, if she enjoyed them, if she would really marry Vinson, if she would find a way to be happy. A bolt of lightening struck a tree ten yards away, ripping his thoughts abruptly from Jai as Drum reared and nearly dumped him. Cursing, Raoul re-gained control of his gelding before turning to take a look at his drenched troops.

"Alright people. The storm is picking up. We need shelter fast. Any ideas?" Raoul shouted, barely managing to make his voice heard over the thunder.

"Sir, I grew up in a small town near hear in a small fief," a young man from Aiden's squad said. "There's a castle there that is pretty much uninhabited most of the time. We can probably stay there."

Raoul nodded. "Take the lead, Derrek."

Derrek took a sharp left and led the company through the trees. A short time later, the trees cleared and the company found itself in the midst of well-organized farmland. They followed a patch between the farms and quickly approached a large stonewall.

"How could I not have not known about this fief?" Raoul wondered allowed.

Derrek shrugged. "It does not have a noble family name specifically attached to it anymore, so no one knows about it."

When they reached the wall a man yelled, "Identify yourself."

"Lord Raoul of Goldenlake, Knight Commander of the King's Own with Buriam Tourakom the Third Company of the Kings Own and four squads of the Riders. We are looking for shelter until the storm passes."

"I'll have to check."

"Arvey, just let us in," Derrek yelled.

"Derrek is that you? Alright, alright. Come on in. The Lady's here, and she's fond enough of you that she'll probably agree to put the lot of you up."

The gates opened, and as Raoul passed through he whistled, impressed by the quality of reinforcements on the gates. He doubted he'd have to come through this town after they suffered a raid by bandits.

Arvey led them through the well-cared for roads of the town to the castle and knocked loudly on main door as the men all dismounted. A manservant opened the door. "Avery, what is going on?"

"Derrek decided to come visit with all of King's Own and the Riders. They want shelter for the night."

The manservant grimaced. "You let them in here?" he hissed at the other man. "We can't have them in here. What were you—"

"Honestly, Stevens there is no reason to get in such a huff," came a female voice from inside the castle, and Raoul smiled, recognizing the speaker instantly. "Avery, take half the horses over the castle stables. The rest can be split between the larger farm barns. Wake up a few of the stable boys to help you with that. Stevens, wake up Tamra, Callie and Mira and have them bring food in and get the fire going in the main hall. Most of the men can sleep there. I'll get the rooms set up for the officers."

As the two men scampered off to do their mistress' bidding, Jai appeared in the door way dressed only in a blue silk dressing gown that pooled below her ankles, revealing only her toes. "Lord Raoul, what a pleasant surprise," she said with a smile. "Once you get the horses taken care of, we should have everything in here ready for you."

"Thank you, Lady Jaid. We appreciate the hospitality, but I don't want to anger your father."

Jaid smiled. "This is my fief. I control it. My father never comes here. Please hurry before you all get ill from this cold."

The group quickly got the horses safely inside and rubbed them down. When they got back to the castle, a sleepy looking maid led them into the main hall, where several fires warmed the room.

"Men and women, get your bed rolls out and behave yourselves. Food is coming. No nonsense. Respect our host," Raoul said, before turning and saying more quietly to the maid, "Will you please take me to Lady Jaid?"

The maid nodded and led him into the kitchen. Jaid, now dressed in a pale pink dress, was rapidly chopping vegetables and tossing them into a large pot that was simmering over the fire. A maid was stirring the pot vigorously, while another maid chopped vegetables next to Jaid.

"We have food, Jai. You don't need to do this."

"Nonsense, when's the last time you're men had a good warm meal? You all look cold and exhausted. We'd started a large stew because I always have at least one dinner for all the people in the town whenever I come, but we can give that to you and make another one tomorrow. I just need to add these vegetables to the soup, and it's ready to go," Jai responded.

Raoul stood in the kitchen awkwardly, unsure of whether to leave or stay, and what to say next.

After a few minutes had passed, Jai said, "Are you going to help me, or just stand there?"

"I'm the Knight Commander of the King's Own. I don't chop vegetables," Raoul said haughtily.

"You do in my house. Here take this knife. Chop the carrots. Make sure they are thin so the cook quickly," Jai said, brandishing a large knife in his direction.

Sighing dramatically, Raoul took the knife and stood next to Jai, chopping the vegetables far slower than his companion.

"Did you get the books I left for you?" Raoul asked.

Jai smiled. "Yes. I loved the one on King Rander."

As the two chatted and chopped vegetables, Raoul felt the tension, anger and sadness he'd felt ever since they'd gotten to the spidren's nest dissipate as the warmth of the kitchen and Jai's chatter surrounded him.

"Jai, what is the story on this castle? I've had no idea it was here," Raoul said, when she'd finished her usual run through on her recent reading.

"My mother was my grandparent's only child, so she was left this fief. She married my father, so it became part of Stone Mountain. I was my mother's only child, so when she died, it passed to me, with my father being the guardian."

"What about Joren?"

"He's my half-brother. My mother died when I was four and my father married Joren's mother two weeks after my mother died. By the way, we are doing re-decoration of the castle since my husband and I will move hear after the marriage. Only three bedrooms besides my own are currently available, but I have an extra bed in my room. I figured you, Commander Buri and Captain Flyn could each get a bed. Your Squire is welcome to stay in the extra bed in my room, unless she needs to stay closer to you."

Raoul nodded absently, distracted from the conversation by the image of her marrying Vinson. "That would be good. I don't need her to stay near me," he added.

Silence descended as Raoul dealt with the clenching feeling that had gripped his stomach as he considered her marriage. He was about to speak when Jai said, "Here the stew's ready. Let's take it out to the men."

Once they got the stew out to the main hall, third company and the riders descended on the pot in a frenzy, shouting praises for the stew. Jai smiled, moving through the men comfortably, chatting with all them easily, making sure they had everything they needed, directing the maids, calming Stevens' antics and in everyway acting as an effortless host. Kel stood next to Raoul as they both ate their stew.

Turning to look at her knight master, Kel asked, "Do they teach you how to do that at the convent?"

Raoul looked at her in confusion. "Do what?"

Kel gestured towards Jai. "That. She just had more then a 100 men descend on her castle unexpectedly, and she has all of us fed, places for us and our horses to sleep and is making everyone happy. Plus, she got dressed, put on make up and jewelry and looks generally gorgeous despite doing all that and just waking up," Kel said, an edge of cattiness that Raoul had never heard before creeping in her voice.

"Squire, are you jealous of her?" Raoul asked, an amused smile across his features. "I have no idea what they do in the convent. I was under the impression that they curtsied and did needle point all day. Don't worry. I'm positive she can't joust as well as you do."

Kel scowled. "If she's anything like her brother, she's going to do something horrible to me while I sleep in her room."

"Trust me, Kel. She is nothing like Joren. Enjoy the soft bed."

Once everyone had eaten and cleaned up, the men began unrolling their bed rolls.

"Come with me," Jai said, gesturing for Raoul, Flyn, Buri and Kel. Leading them through the hall, she opened a door to a cozy room, recently decorated in deep red and cream. "Captain Flyn this room is for you." She direct Buri too the room across the hall. Moving further down the hall, she opened the door to her own room. This room was completely different from the neat order he'd seen everywhere in the castle and on the fief in general. A pile of books teetered on the top of a large desk, and papers were spread everywhere along it. Two beds were crammed into the bright room, and several pairs of shoes were strewn across the floor.

"You can sleep in here, Squire Keladry. You're dog is welcome as well. Please excuse the mess. Lord Raoul, you're room is at the end of the hall here."

The two walked silently down the hall until they reached the door.

"Here you are. Please let me know if you need anything," Jai said.

"Thank you, Jai. We needed some warm food and shelter."

Jai smiled. "I was glad to be able to do something for you. Good night, Lord Raoul," she added, kissing his cheek and disappearing down the hall, the gentle swaying of her hips emphasized by the movement of her dress.

Raoul watched her turn the corner towards her room before he walked into his room. Closing the door, he undressed quickly and slid into the soft sheets of the large bed. Despite the comfort of his bed, he tossed and turned unable to sleep. He kept imagining Vinson and Jai living in this house together. He told himself he was only feeling anger and fear over the future she was being forced into, but his thoughts also lingered on the picture she made as she swayed down the hallway. Finally giving up on sleep, he decided to go visit Drum. Throwing of the covers, he pulled on breeches, a shirt and boots. As he made his way downstairs, he heard noises coming from the kitchen. Figuring his men were up to no good, he silently padded to the kitchen door and slowly opened it, only to stare in absolute shock at the image that met his eyes.

----

So, I'm going to write two or three more chapters of this and then if I don't like it by then I may just give up on it. I have a really cool idea for the plot, but I don't feel like I'm getting the characters right which is frustrating me. Also, I screwed up when I typed 19, I meant that Jai is 22, I changed the first chapter to reflect that.


	4. Chapter 4

Raoul stared at the group of young people sitting in a circle on the kitchen floor. Dom, Kel, Jai, Maggie, Aiden, Derrek and a man and woman he recognized as members of the Riders sat in various stages of undress drinking straight out of a bottle of whiskey, holding cards and laughing uproariously. Dom, who wore only breeches and one sock, was the first to see him and he gulped before smacking Kel, who was seated next to him, wearing breeches and a what appeared to be a nightshirt, her shoes and socks in a pile next to her. One by one the others noticed Dom and Kel's frozen look of horror and silence descended slowly as the various members of the circle noticed Raoul's presence. Jai was the last to realize what was going on, but finally she turned to look at him, the cleavage at the top of her corset briefly distracting him from the yell he'd been about to give. She beamed up at him, the sloppy smile of someone who had been drinking a lot of liquor.

"We're playing strip poker," she said. "Want to play?"

Raoul opened his mouth and closed it several times, before giving up on words. He simply jerked his head in the direction of the door, and Aiden, Dom and Kel instantly gathered their clothes and hurried out of the door, followed quickly by the three Riders. Jai stood up slowly and wobbled a little bit, and Raoul realized that she wore only a corset and an almost see-through underskirt. When she nearly toppled over, Raoul grabbed her bicep, stabilizing her. Sticking her lower lip out in an enormously adorable pout, Jai said, "You spoiled my fun."

Unable to stop himself, Raoul smiled at the girl. "I think you have had plenty of fun."

Jai smiled and slid her arms around his neck, pressing into him. "I don't think so," she said huskily. Standing up on tip-toe to whisper in his ear, she added in a whisper, "I think there's a lot more fun to be had." Trailing her lips down his neck without ever quite landing a true kiss, she settled back down on her feet.

A blush spread across Raoul's cheeks and his breathing became more ragged as he stared down at the girl before him. "You're drunk," he finally settled on saying.

Jai cocked her head and smiled, "You're not wrong, but does that really matter?"

"Yes."

Reaching up again, Jai planted a kiss on his lips, unable to stop himself from responding to the warm comfort of her lips, Raoul circled his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. Pulling away slightly, Jai asked, "Does it matter now?"

Forcing himself to think logically, Raoul said, "Yes. It also matters that I am double your age."

Jai shrugged. "So? I don't care. Why should you?"

"You don't care now because you are drinking."

Jai laughed. "Really, Commander? Don't you get it? I've been set on this for a lot longer than just tonight." She reached up to kiss him again, but Raoul pulled back.

"Come on," he said. "Let's get you to bed."

Jai pouted again. "Fine, but you have to promise not to get mad at the boys and girls who played strip poker with me. It was all my idea anyways. Especially, you can't be mad at Kel. I had to practically drag her down here kicking and screaming."

Folding her arms and jutting up her chin, Jai waited for the promise.

Raoul sighed. "Fine. I promise. Now let's get you upstairs."

Jai beamed and flounced out, grabbing Raoul's hand and tugging him along behind her. Once they got to her door, she turned around and smiled up at him. "You sure you want to leave me here?" she said breathily, fluttering her eyelashes outrageously.

Raoul laughed. "Why don't you try your moves on some one your age, sweetheart."

"Because I don't want someone my age silly. I want you. Now good night kiss."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not going to bed without a good night kiss."

"Go to bed."

"No."

"Bed."

"No."

"I'm not going to kiss you."

"But you so want to."

"Go to bed."

"No!" Jai said loudly, stomping her foot. "I'll only go to bed if you kiss me."

"Sh," Raoul said, looking towards Flyn and Buri's room in panic. If either of them caught him standing in the hall with Jai while she wore only a corset and underskirt and was demanding a good night kiss, he would never hear the end of it.

"If you want me to stay quiet, you better give me a kiss," Jai said, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

Considering his options, Raoul finally gave in and leaned down to give Jai a light kiss on the lips. Taking the opportunity, Jai put her hand on the back of his head, burying her fingers in his curls and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Once again unable to stop himself from responding to her, Raoul returned her deep kiss, pushing her against the door and running his hands down her sides. Despite the voice in his head demanding that he stop kissing her immediately, Raoul responded without hesitation when Jai slid her tongue into his mouth. Feeling her hands sneak under his shirt and slide across his muscled back, Raoul's fingers slid into the top of her underskirt and caressed her hipbone. When he touched her, Jai took in a deep breath, breaking the kiss just long enough for Raoul to re-gain control over himself. Breathing harshly, he pulled away.

"Too far," Raoul said. "That went too far. You are young, and betrothed, and drunk, and...young, very, very young."

Jai leaned against the door and smiled. "I disagree, with the too far and too young part anyways, but I suppose I said I'd go to bed after a good night kiss. Unless, you'd prefer I didn't."

"Bed. Now."

Jai opened the door obediently and bounced through, blowing a kiss at him before she closed the door.

Letting out his breath, Raoul turned and walked back to his room. Once he closed the door, he leaned against it, forcing himself to slow his breathing. Berating himself for taking advantage of Jai in her drunken state, Raoul slid back into bed, repeating over and over how wrong it was to think of her that way. Still unable to stop himself, he ran through the events of the night in his head and imagined the outcome if he hadn't forced her to go to bed alone, as he drifted off to sleep.

-----

Hm, I'm getting into it a little, maybe? Still not sure I like it. I need some feedback here people, is it worth it to keep going?


	5. Chapter 5

Raoul woke up to the sound of hesitant knocking at the door. Cursing as he saw the sunlight streaming through his window, he pulled on a pair of breeches and opened the door. A penitent looking Kel stood in his doorway.

"Sir, the men are up for the most part and Lady Jaid says breakfast will be ready soon," Kel said looking and the floor. "And my lord, I am really, really sorry about last night."

Raoul held up his hand. "It's alright Kel. I got up to far worst antics then that when I was a squire, Mithros knows. Besides, I know how…persuasive Lady Jaid can be. Go get breakfast. I'll be down in a minute."

Raoul closed the door and rustled through his bags for his cleanest clothes. As he got dressed and washed up in the basin a maid had clearly come in and left, he thought about the night before. Realizing he needed to talk to Jai and make it clear that nothing more could happen, he headed down to the kitchen.

When he opened to door, his senses were bombarded by the whirlwind of activity. Maids and cooks were pulling bread out of ovens, whipping up eggs and pouring tea. Jai stood in the middle, shouting directions and arranging the food elegantly on large platters. When she saw him, she smiled at him and beckoned him over.

"Will you get some of the men to come in and help the maids carry the food out? We'll get you fed and back on the road in no time. Thankfully, the storm has passed, so you should have an easy trip back to Corus," Jai said, smiling up at him.

"Uh, um, oh, okay I'll go get some of the men," Raoul said awkwardly, confused by her business-like tone. He walked out and sent some of the men into the kitchen, deciding to stay in the great hall and talk to Buri and Flyn rather than go back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, the men returned laden with enormous platters full of food, followed by Jai. Jai picked up some bread and wandered over to Maggie. Raoul watched as the two girls moved away from other people and Jai whispered something in Maggie's ear. Both of them giggled, and Maggie turned to look at him, causing Raoul to blush.

"Raoul!" Buri shouted. "What is the matter with you? I asked you three times whether you wanted to make the trip back to Corus two or three days."

"N-Nothing is wrong," Raoul sputtered. "Let's go with one. If we only stop briefly for lunch, we should be able to get back only a couple hours after dark."

Buri looked at him suspiciously, but nodded. Raoul concentrated on not looking at Jai and talking coherently to Buri and Flyn for the rest of breakfast. After breakfast, he ordered the men to get the horses ready and rushed upstairs to pick up his things from his room, leaving the door open.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay," Jai said from behind him.

Turning around, Raoul saw Jai leaning in the doorway to his room, a bemused smile across her face. Her blue-grey dress was lower cut then most of her everyday dresses and the off-the shoulders sleeves exposed the lines of her collarbone.

Raoul smiled back at her. "I enjoyed most of it."

Jai raised an eyebrow, "Which parts didn't you enjoy?" she asked.

"You know exactly which part."

Jai laughed outright. "It seemed like you were enjoying yourself to me."

"It doesn't matter whether I enjoyed it or not. It wasn't proper. I am far too old for you and you're betrothed."

At his words, the smile slid off her face and she looked down at her hands. "Goddess I hate that word. Proper. It's an awful word. It has caged me all of my life." She looked up at him, her eyes glittering slightly with unshed tears. "I understand if you aren't interested in me, but please don't throw proper at me. I can't take any more proper in my life."

Acting completely on instinct, Raoul walked over and pulled Jai to him, unwilling to make her cry. He circled his arm protectively around her. She leaned her forehead into his chest, and he kissed the top of her head. Jai looked upward at him, a question in her eyes. Raoul leaned down and kissed her gently, a far cry from the bruising passion of the kisses from the night before. Kissing her gently, trying to reassure her, Raoul held her close.

"Raoul?" called Buri from down the hall. "You coming?"

Breaking away, Raoul shouted. "I'll be there in a minute."

Looking down, Raoul brushed a stray strand of hair behind Jai's ear and kissed her. Releasing her with a sigh, he reached down and threw his saddlebags over his shoulder. Jai reached out and clasped hands with him, pulling him back for one last kiss. He walked out the door, letting go of Jai's hand just before Buri would see him. Jai followed, walking silently next to him until they exited the castle.

She stopped in the doorway to the castle. "Have a safe journey, Lord Raoul," she said, conscious that Buri and some of the men were within earshot.

"Thank you, Lady Jai, for everything. We appreciate the hospitality," he responded, before settling his saddle bags onto Drum and hauling himself into the saddle. He lead the men out of the town and through the gates, turning back in time to get one last glimpse of Jai standing in front of the castle in her blue-grey dress, the sun making her white-blond hair shine brilliantly.

Once they reached the forest, a sense of guilt came crashing down upon Raoul. _How could I do that? Lead her on like that. She's so young. She doesn't understand the consequences. I have to stop_, he thought to himself. Another voice answered, _She is 22. She knows exactly what she wanted. You enjoyed it. So did she._

_But she is betrothed. It's dishonorable to get involved with a betrothed woman._

_She is betrothed to an awful man. She deserves the happiness she can get._

_You can't make her happy. The longer this goes the worse it will be._

_It can't be wrong. It feels to right to be wrong._

_What are you 19 again? Listen to yourself. You're attracted to her. You want to feel young. She's a beautiful girl. Just because your body responds to hers doesn't mean that's right._

_Yes, she's gorgeous, but that's not everything. She's smart and funny and she deserves so much better than the life she got. Maybe she does not have to marry Vinson. She can say no._

_And then what? Marry you? You're old enough to be her father._

_I'm not that old. _

_Compared to her you are._

An eagle's cry interrupted his internal argument. The eagle swooped down and landed on Drum, who by now was use to this treatment. The eagle's head changed to take the form of Daine, Tortall's own wildwage.

"What a pleasant surprise Daine. How are you?"

"Good. I have information from the king. Earthquake and mid slides on the coast. The King wants you and the Own to go, but for the Riders to continue to Corus. I've got maps and such here for you," Daine said releasing a few papers from her talons.

"Thank you, Daine."

Raoul looked over the maps quickly and had a quick chat with Buri before leading Third Company and Kel towards the coast.

---

Several weeks later, Raoul was still helping with construction and building up food stores in the costal town when a message from the crown arrived. Reading it, he called Kel over.

"What's going on sir?" Captain Flyn asked.

"Kel and I are headed back to Corus. They found out who kidnapped her maid."

Taking a deep breath, Raoul realized he wouldn't be able to avoid seeing Jai anymore, and he wasn't sure if he was sorry about that.

-------

Review! Please I'm begging you. This story has me filled with self-doubt. I HATE that.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Characters and realm belong to Tamora Pierce.

----

When Raoul walked into the courtroom, his eyes instantly searched for Jai's form. When Kel's maid, Lalasa, had informed them that Joren was the one on trial for kidnapping her, he instantly wondered how Jai was taking the news. He hadn't seen her since they'd left her fief, and when he didn't see her or any of the rest of her family, he felt disappointment flooding through him. Scolding himself for wanting to see her, he sat down next to Kel and Lalasa and waited for the trial to begin. Just as he'd given up on seeing her, a side door opened and Vinson walked in with Jai on his arm. She wore a charcoal grey dress that shimmered between a dark silvery grey and black. Black pearls wrapped around her neck, a large black opal embedded at the neck and a matching bracelet graced her wrist. Her face was expressionless, and she looked like a doll put up as a display of the Stone Mountain and Vinson's wealth. She didn't once look in his direction, instead she silently sat down next to Vinson several rows in front and to the left of him. When another noble sat down next to Vinson and began speaking to him, Jai finally turned and looked straight at him, sending him a small, tight smile before turning around once again.

As the trial proceeded and Joren's sentence of simply a fine was given, Raoul sensed Kel tensing next to him and realized she was not going to take this news well. When she confronted the monarchs, he suggested she go in private, and despite his desire to go search out Jai, accompanied Kel in to talk to them. After the King had assured Kel he would try and change the law, Kel returned to her room, while Raoul stayed behind.

"I thought she was quieter then Alanna," Jon said as soon as the door closed behind Kel.

"She is by and large, but she hates bullying. She's got a hearty sense of right and wrong and it weighs on her enough to make her speak out," answered Raoul.

"She doesn't like me does she?"

Raoul shrugged. "You put her on probation, Jon. I know, I know you had to, but she hates compromise almost as much as Alanna, particularly when it comes to principles. You may have begun to turn her around though. She likes Roald anyways, and she believes in taking orders, a lot more then Alanna does. Wyldon drilled that into her."

Jon sighed. "Well, maybe this will help win her over. It better, considering all I'm going to have to put into changing this law."

"Please, Jon. You love an excuse to wind up the blue-bloods. Besides, Wyldon will probably be on your side. Despite himself, he's quite fond of Kel."

"What?" Thayet said. "The stump likes Kel?"

"The stump?" Jon asked, looking at his wife in surprise.

Thayet blushed. "Sorry, Alanna has been referring to him as the Stump in her letters. Apparently, that's what her mouthy squire refers to him as."

Raoul laughed. "That sounds about right considering the stories I've heard about Neal from his cousin. But Wyldon certainly respects Kel. She's the kind of knight he likes after all—competent, hard-working, respectful."

"The last one being the key," Jon said with a grin. "You're squire certainly is the perfect person to follow Alanna. Until today I wasn't sure she even had emotions. She certainly proves you don't have to be like Alanna to be a female knight."

After leaving the monarchs, Raoul decided to check on Kel before worrying about Jai. He walked into her room to find a mess of feathers, Kel's griffin squawking and Kel's sparrows in a tizzy. Once he'd talked to Kel and helped her clean up her room, he went back to his study, closed the door and sat down in his desk chair, putting his head in his hands.

"Long day?" Jai asked.

Raoul looked up with a start. "What? How? What?"

Jai smiled and moved across the room and sat in Raoul's lap. She placed her hand on his cheek and said, "I wanted to come see you. I heard you talking to Kel. I figured waiting in here was better then waiting in the hall or letting Kel know I was here."

Raoul smiled and touched his forehead to hers. "Fair enough. How have you been?"

"I had two more glorious weeks at my fief, then father made me return here, where I had a few less glorious weeks. Things are starting to look up now though," Jai said, moving in to kiss him.

Raoul pulled away. "We need to talk about this."

"I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about anything," Jai said, leaning forward again.

Turning away, Raoul said, "This isn't right. We can't do this. You're too young for me. You're going to marry someone else. We can't do this. Just listen to me."

"No," Jai said sharply. "You listen to me. I am 22. I can do math. I understand that you are old enough to be my father, but you're not my father. Which is exactly why I like you. You talk to me about battle strategies and diplomatic treaties. You look at me and you see me. Not just what I look like, but actually me. I'm not just a piece of property to decorate your arm, to show your wealth and power. You don't just want me to look pretty so other men will be jealous. I know I am betrothed. Believe me. I understand I will spend the rest of my life with Vinson, which is exactly why I want to spend the time that I do have left with someone I actually like and who actually likes me. I get that you're a knight and there is this noble code, but I'm asking you to just let me be happy while I can be. Please."

When Raoul didn't respond, Jai stood up angrily, straightening her shoulders and lifting her chin. "Fine," she said coldly. "Fine." She walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

Sighing, Raoul rubbed his temples, as always unsure of what had just happened. He waited, expecting her to come back, but she didn't. He wasn't sure what he would do when she did come back. The same old argument went round and round his brain over the next few days as he made excuses to stay in his study, hoping she would show. He missed her happy chatter, her laugh, the swishing noise her skirt made, her presence.

During his fifth day of internal struggle, he was looking out his window at the courtyard in front of the Own's barracks. He saw a woman in a sea green dress talking animatedly to one of the female members of the Riders and a few members of the Own, more then a few of whom were doubled over in laughter. Raoul realized instantly that the woman was Jai. He could tell by the way she waved her hands and cocked her head, not to mention the easily identifiable brightness of her hair. As he watched them all talking, and watched some of the men obviously flirting with her, he decided once and for all that his "honorable" self could talk a hike. Walking outside quickly and over to the group, he stopped next to Jai and raised an eyebrow at his men. "Aren't you all suppose to be training right now?" he asked.

Looking suitably chastened, the men scattered off in various directions after saying good-bye to Jai and the Rider woman, who turned out to be Maggie.

Looking at Raoul with a bemused smile on her face, Maggie said airily, "I think there is probably something I am supposed to do as well."

With those words, she kissed Jai on the cheek, winked at Raoul and walked towards the Riders' training area.

"Lord Raoul," Jai said civilly, dropping a curtsey and moving to walk away.

Raoul reached out and grabbed her hand, not caring who saw. "Jai, please don't. I want to talk to you."

She looked up at him, her face impassive, searching his face. When she didn't say anything, he added, "Jai, please."

"Fine," she said quietly, removing her hand from his. "I'll come by your study in a little while. We shouldn't be seen going there together. It wouldn't be…proper."

She turned away, picking up the hem of her skirt daintily and walking away.

Several hours later, Jai still hadn't shown up, and Raoul was increasingly unsure of himself. Passing around in his study, he thought to himself, _What if she is no longer interested? What should I say? Maybe this is wrong._

Just when he was about to give up, he heard the sound of her heels clicking down the hallway, then a sharp knocking came on his door. Dragging his hand distractedly through his curls, he leaned on his desk, trying to look casual, before he said, "Come in."

Jai walked in and closed the door behind her, but refrained from walking further into the room. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Come on Jai. Don't be like that."

"What do you expect? You gave me every reason to expect that you were interested and then you pull out some nonsense excuse to end things. So, yes. I'm angry. In fact, I'm very angry. In fact, I—"

Deciding that this rant was not going to end any time soon on its own, Raoul crossed the room and kissed Jai hard, a hand on each of her biceps, pulling her insistently towards him. When she tried to speak again, he smothered her words with another kiss. Eventually, she gave in, wrapping her arms around him. Slipping his hands down, he picked her up, carrying her over to his chair and sitting down, settling her easily into his lap. He resumed kissing her, but was more gently this time. He untied the ribbon in her hair and when it fell down around her shoulders, he slid his fingers through it, feeling the softness against his palm.

Pulling back, he stroked Jai's cheek with his thumb. "Am I forgiven?" he asked, nuzzling her neck.

Jai laughed and leaned her head back, revealing more flesh to his ministrations. "I suppose that depends," she said lazily.

"On what?" he asked, trailing kisses along her collarbone.

She put a hand on either side of his head, forcing him to look her in the eye. "On how long before I have to worry about you talking yourself out of this again."

Raoul laughed at her bluntness. "You know I really do think this is wrong, but honestly, I very much doubt I will be able to stop myself from doing this again. Besides, I am basically incapable of saying no to you."

Jai kissed him again before sliding off his lap. "I have to go before anyone begins wondering where I am. We'll pick this up later."

Raoul grabbed her wrist and pulled her back again. "You aren't going anywhere yet."

Jai giggled. "I have to go," she murmured between kisses, but made no move to leave. Eventually, she pulled away and settled her head in the crook of his neck.

"What have you been up to the last few weeks?" she asked sleepily.

"We've been helping out a town that got hit by an earthquake and had some mud slides."

"I don't know how you deal with all that death and destruction every day without just getting overwhelmed."

"We just have to do what you can."

"You mean you never get disheartened by it all?"

"Some days are hard. Like the day we stayed at your fief."

"Why?"

Raoul told her about the children in the spidrens nest and about the decisions that had meant they would get there a little later then the would have otherwise. He talked about the decisions he had to live with that cost people lives and found himself telling her things he'd never told anyone before. She just listened, never interrupting like so many people did with the obvious insistences that he couldn't of known or it wasn't his fault. She just offered the comfort of her presence. He asked her about her family and she talked about the few memories she had of her mother, mostly of the two of them spending time alone at the fief.

After a little while, they both stopped talking, enjoying the silence and occasional kisses. As Raoul felt Jai's rhythmic and deep breaths across his neck, he realized the girl had fallen asleep. Even knowing she could potentially get in a lot of trouble, he couldn't bring himself to wake her when she looked so serene. The bells rang several time, but Raoul didn't move until a sharp knock sounded at his door.

-----

Ugh I'm more then a little not liking this story--plot picks up eventually, but i have to get there. My brain is not working so well. Please, please review. Suggestions or encouragement are very much appreciated right now.


	7. Chapter 7

Raoul's first reaction was absolute panic. He had no idea what to do with the sleeping girl in his lap, who was snoring lightly and had not so much as stirred at the sound of the knock on the door. Finally, he stood up, still holding Jai, walked quickly to his bedroom, laid her down on the bed, and walked back to his study, closing his bedroom door behind him. He opened the door, halfway expecting Vinson and Jai's father to be standing there. Instead, a severe looking woman with a sharply pointed nose wearing a maid's uniform stood before him. Raoul looked at her in confusion and said, "Yes?"

The woman pursued her lips, disapproval written all over her face. "I'm looking for my mistress, Lady Jaid. Her presence is needed soon if the family is not to realize that she is," the woman paused and looked Raoul up and down, before finishing, "occupied in pursuits that they would not approve of."

Raoul flushed instantly, but simply said, "I'm sorry. Lady Jaid is not here."

The woman managed to look even more disapproving. "Tell my Lady she had better be in her room as soon as possible if she doesn't want the beating of her life."

She dropped a disdainful curtsey and walked away without waiting for Raoul's response. Thoroughly shaken, Raoul went back to his room and shook Jai gently awake. Jai stretched languidly as her eyes fluttered open, her back arching and her arms reaching towards the headboard, briefly distracting Raoul from the words of the maid.

"Hello," Jai said softly, lifting her chin for kiss.

Raoul smiled and complied, before remembering why he had woken up. "A very terrifying maid just came to the door and said that you had better get back to your room quickly."

Jai laughed. "Hawk-nose?"

When Raoul nodded, she said, "That's Nana, my personal maid. She's taken care of me my whole life, and she's a little protective. What time is it?"

"Almost time for the dinner bell."

"What?" Jai screeched. "Oh Goddess. I am having dinner with the Genliths tonight and I need to change first."

Jai raced out of the room, pausing only to peek out the door to the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before she hurried off towards her room. Raoul didn't even get up from his seat on the bed. Her mention of the Genliths reminded him once again of the temporariness of their situation. He reached out and touched the pillow she'd been laying on and for the first time in his entire life contemplated how nice it would be to have a woman sleeping regularly in his bed.

Despite the rumors about his interest in men, he'd had more women in his bed then the court gossips knew. He'd always been adept at keeping his affairs quiet, and he was careful to only bed women as disinterested in marriage as he was. He'd sworn off court women since he was nineteen, but soon found there were plenty of other women out there who were looking for simple gratification over marriage. In truth, he'd been far less careful with Jai then with any of the other women. He'd broken all of his rules. He hadn't been careful about court gossips. He'd become involved with a court woman. He hadn't laid out the no long-term involvement from the first. He threw all of his rules out the window when it came to Jai, and he knew he wouldn't stop.

A knock came on the door between Raoul and Kel's suites.

"Yes, Kel?" Raoul called, getting up and yanking open the door.

"Are you going to dinner in the mess hall tonight my lord, or do you need my services tonight?"

"I am dining with friends tonight. Go eat with your friends."

After Kel left, Raoul headed over to Alanna and George's set of rooms. When he turned a corner, he ran straight into Buri. Grinning he helped her up from the floor.

"Good to see you, Buri. The dinners with the three couples are always slightly better when you're there too."

Buri grinned. "I heard you got back, so I decided I didn't have to lead the Riders out yesterday."

Reaching George and Alanna's door, Raoul knocked on it loudly.

Alanna answered the door. "The last two are here. Let's go birthday boy," she said, smiling at her husband fondly.

Raoul, Buri, Alanna, George, Jonathan, Thayet, Gary and Cythera all headed into the city, dressed in far less expensive then those they normally wore. Arriving at their favorite restaurant, the eight friends sat down to celebrate George's birthday. Soon the old friends were all teasing each other about past indiscretions and telling hilarious stories. A lull in the conversation came, and Buri looked at Raoul speculatively.

"You know," Buri said with a sly grin. "If you all really want a good story, you should ask Raoul about staying at Lady Jaid of Stone Mountain's fief."

"What?" came a chorus of voices as Raoul's cheeks turned bright red.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Raoul said.

"Really? So I didn't hear Jai demanding a kiss from you in the middle of the night while you demanded she go to bed? And I didn't peak out my door to you standing with her at the doorway to her room while she was dressed only in a corset and a very, very light underskirt?"

Raoul put his face in his hands. "This isn't happening," he murmured, as his friends exploded into laughter.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Gary said, "By the gods, Raoul, what happened?"

"Nothing," Raoul exclaimed. "She and some of the men and the Riders had been drinking together. I caught them and took Jai back to her room. She was really drunk and a little ridiculous and I sent her to bed. End of story."

Raoul looked up to see George looking at him with an amused smile on his face. He quirked in eyebrow, clearly signaling he knew Raoul was lying and Raoul prayed to every god and goddess he could think of that George would stay silent.

"Sounds like you have quite the admirer," Gary said with a grin. "She's a beautiful girl."

"She's 22 and betrothed," Raoul retorted.

"So?" Alanna broke in. "If she knows what she wants, I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is I don't want to deal with the Genliths and the Stone Mountains demanding Raoul's head," Jon said, interrupting Raoul's response.

"Actually," Thayet said thoughtfully, "That might solve a lot of our problems. They'd probably demand a duel with Raoul, and Raoul could kill them for us and we wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. So, Raoul you might as well oblige the girl. It'd be a service to the crown really."

"Enough," Raoul growled. "She's a sweet kid in an awful situation and she had too much to drink. That's the end of the story."

"No, but seriously. How did you get her to go to bed?" Buri asked. "She was pretty insistent sounding from what I heard and saw."

"You didn't see me get her to go to bed?"

Buri shook her head. "You both moved further into the doorway and you hushed her after she shouted so I couldn't hear."

"Right after she yelled I was able to talk her into going to bed. She was about to pass out anyways."

George smiled wryly and said, "Always the gentlemen. I'm surprised you could say no to an offer that tempting. I'd say she's prettier, and smarter, then Delia of Eldorne, but maybe less conniving, since no one has been dueling over her glove."

"Who dueled over Delia's glove?" Cythera asked, causing Gary to cough of the stew he'd just swallowed.

As the conversation quickly turned, Raoul shot George a grateful smile, eliciting a wink from George. The group spent awhile longer laughing and joking before returning to the castle. After they split up for the evening, Raoul walked through the gardens toward the Own's barracks, hoping to pick up some paperwork from a few of his sergeants. He paused when he heard Jai's voice float across the grounds.

"Vinson stop. We can't. Not until we're married," she said.

"Come on Jaid. There are plenty of things we can do until we get married. I'm your betrothed. Just let me."

"Let go of my laces. We're in the gardens. Someone could see us. Vinson, stop. STOP," Jai said, followed by the sound of stumbling. Raoul walked quickly to the sound of the voices, guessing what Vinson's response would be."

"Did you just push me into the bushes? I am your betrothed wench. You do what I say," Vinson growled, and Raoul rounded the corner just in time to see Vinson backhand Jai so hard she nearly fell over.

"What is going on here?" he said sharply, walking over to the couple.

"Nothing Lord Raoul," Vinson said. "Just taking a walk with my betrothed."

"That's not really what it looks like."

Vinson sneered. "She's my betrothed. We had a little misunderstanding. It's none of your concern, my lord."

Gritting his teeth, Raoul said. "In that case, why don't you go back to your duties, squire, and I will escort the lady back to her room."

Vinson opened his mouth to protest, but closed it when confronted with the thunderous look on Raoul's face. He nodded, then took a step forward and slid his arm around Jai's waist, kissing her the cheek. "Until next time, Jaid," Vinson said before walking away.

As soon as Vinson was out of sight, Jai smiled up at Raoul and said quietly, "You really shouldn't have done that. I had things under control."

"Under control? Your cheek is still red," Raoul said.

"Well, I lost my temper and pushed him. That's the first time he's actually had the courage to go for my laces. He had a lot to drink. Sober I can usually control him somewhat, and I usually make sure to be closer to people."

"He shouldn't treat you that way."

"Well, no he shouldn't, but he does, and I handle it as best I can."

"Why are you agreeing to marry him? Are you afraid of being disowned? You could manage. Whatever life you made for yourself would be better then a life with Vinson."

"There are other circumstances than those you know about, but enough about my betrothed," she said and reached up and kissed him. When Raoul tried to speak, she used his trick from earlier and kissed away his protests. Before long, Raoul was thoroughly distracted from thoughts about Vinson, focusing only on the girl in his arms. Pulling her into one of the more hidden corners of the garden, Raol continued kissing her, his hands moving to her already half un-done laces to loosen them further. Slipping his hand under her dress, he caressed her ribs, teasingly moving upward, slipping higher and higher, making Jai arch her chest towards him. Jai kissed Raoul's neck, biting down gently.

"We have to stop. Vinson will tell my father what happened, and my father will come looking for me. If I'm not in my room, I'll get in even more trouble," Jai said regretfully, pulling away.

Raoul sighed and kissed her forehead. "Good night, Jai."

"Good night, Raoul."

----

Hmm. I'm starting to get into this a little more. I don't have Squire with me, so I'm a little worried my timeline will get off. Let me know if that happens. If I remember right, they go on Progress after the trial and then go to the castle for Vinson and Joren's ordeal....then it's to scanra right?


	8. Chapter 8

WARNING: The sex content in this chapter is the high-end of T. Not ridiculous or anything, but if you really hate that stuff/are made uncomfortable by it, maybe this isn't your story.....

-----

Two days later Jai's maid showed up early in the morning at Raoul's door. Dropping a curtsey and looking as disdainful as she had upon their first meeting, she gave him a note and left.

_Raoul—_

_I am going out for a ride on my fat pony. Do you know the small pond in the forest just south of the wolves' cave? I'll arrive there at the lunch bell. I hope you can join me._

_Love,_

_J_

_P.S. Don't mind Nana if she appears angry. I had to push pretty hard to get her to deliver it._

After breakfast, Raoul jousted with Kel for awhile, sending the girl flying only twice. Raoul cursed when heard the lunch bell, realizing he had lost track of time. Sending Kel to bathe and eat lunch, Raoul rode Drum off into the forest without bothering to change, worried that he would miss Jai otherwise. When he arrived at the pool, he dismounted and smiled at the picture Jai made. She was wearing a forest green riding jacket with a matching skirt. Her shoes and stockings sat next to her, and her feet were dangling in the water. Her hair flowed freely down her back, a three-cornered hat the same color as her outfit was perched on her head. Hearing him walk towards her, Jai turned and smiled at him patting the stone beside her.

"What have you been up to?" she asked looking him over.

"Jousting with Kel. It took longer then I expected," Raoul responded reaching out to flick the jaunty feather in her hat.

"Do you like my hat?" she asked.

"I do actually. The feather is a nice touch."

Jai giggled, then leaned forward to put her hand on Raoul's chest and kissed him.

Responding readily, Raoul moved a hand to Jai's back, only to hear her hiss in pain.

"Jai, what?" Raoul's eyes clouded over as he realized what had happened. "How bad?" he asked softly.

Jai shrugged, refusing to look him in the eye. "I've had worse."

Raoul slid closer to her and began unbuttoning her jacket slowly, his eyes looking for any suggestion that she wanted him to stop. Even when it became obvious she was wearing nothing under the jacket, he didn't pause. He eased the jacket gently off her, then slid behind her and hissed at what he saw. At least twenty angry red welts criss-crossed the girl's back, all falling below her the points of her shoulder blades so no dress would show them, and a few disappeared into the line of her skirt.

"How bad does it hurt?" he asked softly, tracing his fingers around the lash marks.

"Like I said—I've had worse. Admittedly, not much worth. My father's wife is always careful not to break the skin. Vinson doesn't want his future bride scarred after all. Nana put an aloe on it. That helped a lot."

Raoul kissed the skin between the welts, careful not to touch any of the sores. He reached his hands forward to caress her stomach, reaching up to circle the sides of her breasts. "You know what else would help?" he murmured between kisses. "A nice cool swim in the pool."

Jai folded into him, heat running through her as he touched her all-over without shame. "This feels nice."

"Come on," Raoul whispered, unknotting the tie on the side of her skirt. "The water will feel even better."

"It'll be cold," Jai protested, her eyes closed.

"Don't be a baby. Besides, I could use a swim myself, and I promise the cold will feel wonderful on your back."

When she didn't protest anymore, Raoul lifted her up and slid her skirt down, revealing why she hadn't wanted him to take her skirt of. The welts continued down across her butt and thighs, ensuring sitting would be supremely uncomfortable. The blood pumped through Raoul's veins and fury almost overtook him. Jai turned to face him and kissed him softly. "Don't," she said. "It is what it is. You getting angry will only ruin the time we have together."

Reaching a hand to the back of his head, Jai kissed him passionately on the lips, pressing herself against his chest. When she pulled away, Raoul grinned wickedly down at her.

"You know. You're absolutely right. We should enjoy the time we have," he said before sweeping her off her feet and, ignoring her shriek of protest, threw her into the pond.

Laughing as she sputtered, Raoul peeled of his clothes and slid in. He swam over to the middle of the pond, which was deep enough that even he had to tread water. Jai stayed near the edge.

"What can't swim?" Raoul taunted. "Come on out and join me."

Jai scowled and then disappeared under the water, which was murky enough that Raoul couldn't see where she had gone. He waited for her to appear before him, but instead he felt a shadowy touch across his leg. When he reached down to grab her, she was already gone and popped up on the other side of the pond.

"What's wrong my lord? Something scary in the water?" Jai asked.

"Come here." Raoul said, his eyes skimming the slimness of her body and the perfect curves of her breasts.

Jai disappeared under the water again only to slide up against him. She wrapped her legs around his muscled waist and kissed him. Raoul adjusted to her weight easily, still treading water to hold them above water. Raoul used his hands as well, partially to avoid touching any of the sore parts of her body. Instead, he let her wrap around him, her kisses becoming increasingly urgent, as she touched him all over. Despite his efforts to the contrary, Raoul could feel his body responding to hers, and Jai giggled, "Enjoying yourself, Commander?" she whispered in his ear, the huskiness of her voice only adding to his pleasure.

"We have to stop," he murmured as she teasingly wiggled against him. "This is just cruel."

Jai pulled back. "Cruel? Are you suggesting I'm a tease? I'll have you know, I never start things I don't intend to finish."

"There's no way we can finish what you are starting," Raoul said, moving them towards the edge of the pond.

"Why not?"

"You're the one who keeps insisting you're marrying Vinson. I think he might notice if you're not a virgin," Raoul paused. "You are a virgin aren't you?"

Jai sighed. "Yes, I am, but that doesn't mean I have to stay that way. Let's just say we women discovered how to trick men into believing their virginal blood was flowing a long time ago. We were also smart enough to make sure men don't know, so don't go telling anyone and do proceed with bedding me," Jai looked around and wrinkled her nose. "Or ponding me, perhaps is a more appropriate thing to say in this situation."

"Even if you can trick Vinson, we shouldn't."

When Jai opened her mouth to respond, Raoul kissed her, hoping to avoid an argument on the issue. The truth was, he was scared of how attached he was getting to the girl and knew that if she married Vinson, this would only end in pain for both of them. He picked her up as gently as possible and carried her out of the pond, placing her on her feet and kissing her.

"I need to get back," Raoul said, "and I'm sure you do, too."

Jai cocked her head and looked up at him, an amused smile on her face. "You really plan not to bed me don't you?"

Raoul sighed. "I don't think it's a good idea. Since you insist you're marrying Vinson, this is temporary. Sleeping together will only make things worse."

"Do you really think it can get worse? I don't want Vinson to be my first," Jai said. When Raoul remained impassive, Jai rolled her eyes. Standing up on tip-toe, she whispered directly in his ear, "How long do you really think you are going to able to say no to me?" She kissed his neck sensually then slid back down and began wringing the water out of her hair. She walked over to her portly pony, opened up one of the saddle bags and pulled two towels and a comb out. Tossing one to Raoul, she began drying off, then wrapped the towel around her and moved on to combing out her hair.

"For someone who didn't want to get in the cold pond, you sure came prepared for a dunking," Raoul said, toweling himself off.

Jai shrugged. "I've noticed men enjoy throwing women into water. I came prepared."

Raoul laughed. "Fair enough. How's your back feeling?"

"Better. You're right the water did feel nice. I'm over the worst of it anyways. I should be sitting fairly comfortably in a day or two and able to sleep on my back a few days after that. By the way, we are going back to Stone Mountain tomorrow until the Progress begins. I'll try and stop by to say good-bye in the morning, but I can't promise I'll be able to sneak away."

Rather than respond, Raoul simply pulled on his breeched and went over to hold her close to him, his arms loosely wrapped around her. She leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes. "Time to go," she whispered sadly, then pulled away and wrapped her hair quickly in bun, before stepping into her skirt and tying it at her waist. Raoul picked up her jacket and helped her slip it on, making her wince despite his attempts to minimize her pain. He slowly re-buttoned it, caressing her skin as worked his way up. When he was done, he sat her hat atop her head, tipping it back and leaning in for a kiss. Breaking free, she mounted her pony easily.

"Good-bye, Raoul," she said, blowing him a kiss before riding away.

----

Raoul was in a daze for the rest of the day, wavering between pleasure brought on by re-playing the events of earlier and anger at the welts he had seen. He also felt relieved that he hadn't simply beat Vinson down until he couldn't get up. The truth was the only way Jai would ever be safe is if she sought refuge at the Temple of the Goddess. Under the law, her father and husband could do what they wished, only the priestesses could protect her. As much as he hated to admit it, he could only make things worse. He'd have to convince her to go to the priestesses. It was really the only answer, but she would have known about that option, and what were these other circumstances she mentioned? How could he help her when she insisted she was marrying Vinson? She couldn't marry him! She's too smart and…beautiful. Goddess she was beautiful. She was right. It was going to take all his self-control to say no, but he had too. If Vinson ever found out she was anything other than pure as snow, he knew he wouldn't be able to protect her from his or her father's rage.

This constant circular thought process meant that by the time he'd finished with Kel's lessons, his head was pounding. As soon as he finished ordering supplies for the Own, he undressed and slid into bed, wearing only a loincloth. He fell quickly into a deep slumber, hazy images of Jai filling his dreams. His dream became less and less hazy as his dream self gave over to his desires entirely. He kissed her on the neck and slid his hands over breasts and down her stomach, hearing her moan at his touch. He moved his hand down further, teasing her between her legs, hearing her whisper, "Please," and letting her tug him on top of her. He opened his eyes slowly as she arched up towards him, and suddenly realized that his dream had somehow become a reality.

----

Alright, I am starting to hit my stride here--and in case you're wondering, we haven't even begun to get to the meat of the story and action does occur--major action, just you wait. Now that being said, my lack of reviews is making me sad, so I am holding chapters hostage....I need at least a few reviews before the next chapter gets put up. Besides, I really need to know what you guys like/don't like. I'm guessing you're prob getting bored with the romance, so am I, but I'm a little hampered because I decided to stick to the real Squire story line and because of where in the story I decided to place my plot. Now, I write very fast, so a few people review and a chapter will go up pretty quickly, and then another with more reviews, and before you know it this will be quite fun.


	9. Chapter 9

Raoul leapt off the bed immediately. "What in the name of Mithros is going on?"

Jai sat up and put her elbows on her knees. "You started it, not me," she said, pouting slightly.

Considering his dreams, Raoul suspected she was telling the truth. "Well, what are you doing naked in my bed?"

"I don't know about the naked part," Jai said, looking down at herself. "I decided to sneak over here because I couldn't sleep. You were sleeping and you looked so peaceful, so I decided to just climb into bed with you to sleep and I had clothes on, breeches and a shirt and a really tight breast band, which you did a really good job of getting off by the way. Next thing I know, I'm naked and you are, you know."

Raoul rubbed his face with his hands, trying to slow his breathing. His attempts were disrupted by the feeling of Jai's hands on his thighs. He'd been so close. Maybe he should just. No. He pulled away and tugged on a pair of breeches, refusing to listen to Jai's sounds of protest.

"You need to get dressed and go back to your room. You will get in trouble if you aren't there," Raoul said, trying to put all of his authority as a commander behind the words.

"No one will know. Nana is supposed to be my chaperone. My father trusts her. She was his servant first, before she was my mother's, so he believes her loyalty is to him. It isn't. Now come back here. You can't leave me hanging like that."

"No," Raoul said. "I'm serious Jai. I'm not bedding you. Please."

Jai cocked her head, then smiled. "Tell you what. Let me sleep here tonight, and I'll lay off the bedding demands for awhile at least."

Raoul sighed and pulled a shirt out of his dresser, tossing it over to Jai. Jai giggled and stood up on the bed, revealing her body for one last instant before she tugged the shirt over her head and let it fall down around her knees. She sat back down on the bed and slid under the covers.

Raoul got under the covers next to her, leaving on his breeches. He kissed her, then turned her on her side and curled up around her. He kissed her on the neck and slid his arm around her, resting his hand high on her stomach. He breathed her scent in, a mixture of lavender and something earthier. Matching his breathing to hers, he soon fell into a sleep more peaceful then any he'd had in years.

----

The next morning, Raoul woke at his usual early hour. When he opened his eyes slowly, he yelped at the sight of Jai's wide ice blue eyes as close as possible to his dark ones.

"You're cute when you sleep," she said with a grin.

"How are you so awake?" he grumbled, flipping onto his back and pulling her on to his chest.

Jai giggled and leaned down to kiss him, her hair falling like a curtain around them. He slid one of his hand around the back of her neck and the other hand moved to the middle of her back, his thumb making small circles.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Raoul said without thinking.

Jai smiled sadly. "I wish I didn't have to either, but I do," she said and slid off him, moving to get out of bed.

Raoul wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back. "What if you didn't?"

"Didn't leave? Well, I'd get a worse beating then the last one I got that's for sure. Father's wife would probably start checking to see that I was still a virgin as well, which is really something I'd like to avoid."

"What if you stayed and went to the Temple of the Goddess for protection? You'd be safe there. You wouldn't have to marry Vinson and you're father couldn't get you."

"And then what?" Jai demanded angrily, as she jerked out of Raoul's grip. "I live my life behind the four walls of the temple? Never allowed to leave the grounds?"

"You wouldn't have to stay forever. You could start your own life. I'd be willing to help you," Raoul said, sitting up and reaching for Jai, only to have her slide out of bed and begin dressing

"Do you think I haven't thought of that? I know how easy it would be to run, but I can't. I can't just run. I told you there are circumstances. I have obligations. I guess I should have been clearer. I am marrying Vinson. End of discussion," she declared forcefully. She wrapped her hair up and pulled her hat on, finishing her disguise as a male servant.

Raoul hopped out of bed and caught her before she could storm out. "Jai, stop. I didn't mean to upset you. I only want what's best for you."

Jai softened instantly, allowing herself be wrapped in his arms. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry. I just don't want you to think that something can change. I will marry Vinson. You can't be the knight in shining armor and save me. What you can do is make me happy for the present."

Raoul nodded, his throat too clenched to speak. Finally, he just leaned down and kissed her, tightening his grip around her.

"I have to go," she said, a sad smile on her face. "I'll see you during the Progress," she added, before leaving his rooms.

Raoul spent the next few days preparing for the Progress and trying not to think about Jai. For the first time, he looked forward to the beginning of the Progress. As the days dragged on, his desire to hold Jai and kiss her grew stronger, and his resolve not to bed her dissolved more and more.

At last the day arrive and the King's Own lined up in their shiny uniforms around the royal family. Raoul looked around hoping to catch a glimpse of Jai. At last he found her, looking annoyed, no doubt because she was sitting sidesaddle. Her face softened though, as she leaned over to pet the mane of the young mare she rode. Looking closer at the mare, Raoul realized she was one of Wyldon's horses. Clearly, Jai's father had decided it was worth letting Jai be happy if her new horse would help display his wealth. Jai's dress also loudly proclaimed the state of the Stone Mountain treasury. Intricate embroidery covered her silver and white gown, along with sapphires and rubies. Her necklace was so heavy with jewels that Raoul wasn't sure how she managed to keep her head up. She looked up from her horse and caught his eye, sending him a big smile.

As the court began its great ride, Raoul tried to keep his looks in Jai's direction to a minimum. The day went by agonizingly slowly, but at last it drew to a stop for the night. As he and Kel put up the tents for the night, Raoul decided it was probably best for Jai to come find him. At his height, he couldn't exactly sneak around unobserved, and the girl had a knack for not being noticed when she didn't want to be.

As Raoul was sitting around a campfire eating with his men, he felt something hit him in the back of the head. Confused he looked around, but didn't see anything but darkness. After this occurred two more times, he finally got up to investigate. As he left the circle of light from the campfire, a small, delicate hand caught his own and tugged him in the direction of the forest. Once they were deep enough to avoid being stumbled upon, Jai turned and threw herself into Raoul's arms, kissing him hard. He responded in kind, pushing her up against a tree trunk and lifting her higher off the ground. She dragged his tunic and undershirt over his head as he undid her laces, both desperate to feel each other's skin against their own. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she reached for the laces of his breeches. He slid his hands under her skirt and up her thighs, pressing even closer to her.

When she moved to ease his breeches off, he grabbed her wrist and pulled back. "No, stop," he said.

"Ugh! I'd really hoped you were over this chivalrous nonsense," Jai said. "Please, Raoul. You can't do this to me. You can't do this to yourself. We both want this."

Raoul shook his head, trying to clear it. "No," he murmured, pushing her hair out of her face and kissing her gently.

"Why are you so against this?" Jai asked, her frustration clear.

"Because you yourself said your father's wife could begin checking you, and I don't even want to think about what would happen if they found out you were a virgin."

"They won't."

"That's not all. I just can't. I'm already too attached as it is. So, are you. I can't stop being around you. I can't stop kissing you, but so far I can manage to stop myself from bedding you. If we make love, I'm afraid it will make the separation so much worse."

Jai opened her mouth to protest, but stopped when she saw the emotion on his face. Finally, she leaned her head on his chest, sliding her legs down so she was standing on her own. Raoul felt the tears roll down her cheeks and on to his chest. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered. "I never thought you would really feel anything more than a passing fancy for me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I knew how I felt about you when I started this, and that it wasn't really possible for me to get more attached and that I needed some memories to get me through the life I had before me. I never thought you would return the feelings in any real way. I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean you knew how you felt from the beginning? You mean from the time at your fief?"

Jai shook her head and looked up at him. "Before that. We met before that ball. I was thirteen. Vinson and Joren and Vinson's brother, Barner, had locked me in a supplies closet and were trying to drown the puppy Lord Padriag had given me. You heard me yelling and let me out and got me to tell you what was happening. You gave me a hug and ruffled my hair and told me it was going to be alright. Then you stopped them and gave them a lecture on respecting animals and girls. You reported them to Lord Wyldon and I asked you to find my puppy a new home and you said you would."

Jai paused, blushing slightly, but said, "I fell for you right then and there. When I sat down next to you, I started that conversation to see if you were everything I thought you were, and figuring that was the best way to get you interested if it was."

"That was you?" Raoul said in surprise.

"Some kids have spots on their face, alright? And I gained weight before I grew taller. It wasn't my fault."

Raoul laughed. "That's not what I meant at all, although you do look quite a bit different now. I just can't believe I didn't figure out that was you."

Jai shrugged. "It was a long time ago, and I don't think I ever said I was Joren's sister. Anyways, my point is if you want this to end now, I understand."

"No, Jai. That's not what I want. I don't know what I want. I just," Raoul let the words hang, unsure of how to finish. Finally, he just leaned down and kissed Jai, losing himself in the moment.

----

They continued in this way through the whole of the Progress. They stole hidden kisses in dark corners and occasionally dared to spend a whole night together. They avoided anything like the conversation they'd had the first night, both firmly believing that denial and avoidance was the best solution for the present. Jai no longer pushed Raoul to bed her, but her desire, and his, was always evident. Still, Raoul continued to hold back at the last minute continuously, straining his self-control to its utmost limits. However, he told himself that holding back that last bit would somehow help him. He denied that every kiss brought them closer, that every time he fell asleep wrapped around her he fell more in love with her. He told himself their separation would hurt, but it would be bearable, if only he held them back from that last step.

--

I would say one or two more chapters of romancey stuff and then the action slowly begins and then speeds up pretty quickly.

Thank you very much to the people who reviewed. Please keep it up! I started another story that I really like (Prince Liam's Lioness if you want to read it), so the updates for this may slow down a bit, but I promise I'll finish it.....


	10. Chapter 10

Warning: High T chapter--fairly sexually explicit...

----

The evening of the ball at Eldorne had begun just like all the other horrid evenings on the Progress. He had tried to convince Jon he'd pulled a muscle and couldn't attend the ball, but been flatly told that he had to go. He grumbled and showed up as late as was still polite and then he greeted Jon and the hosts, before looking for a hiding place. He was pleased to note that Eldorne had several alcoves where he could stand unnoticed for most of the night. Once he took up his station in the nearest alcove, he scanned the room for Jai and found her standing with Maggie, looking happy for a change. She and her friend were talking as animatedly and quickly as ever, and Raoul noticed that almost every man in the room paused to look at the two. Jai looked particularly beautiful that evening, in a crimson dress with gold detailing cut as low in the front and the back as it was possible to be and still be deemed fit for public. Her hair was curled and put up elaborately, rubies glinting off the gold pins that held the curls in place. Raoul's thoughts were interrupted by the rather unpleasant sound of Vinson's voice.

"Mithros, Garvey this is dull," the boy said. "All these women and all we can do is pour their wine."

"I don't know why you're complaining. The most beautiful girl here is yours already," Garvey responded.

"Not yet," Vinson responded. "She's insisting we wait till marriage, and her father agrees of course, though he doesn't care what else I do. I can't wait till I get to ride her. I'll put her in her place fast enough."

"What do you mean put her in her place?"

"She doesn't understand that her job as a wife is to do what I please. When I bed her, I'll force her to understand that the rest of her life is about my pleasure not hers. I can't wait to rip into that. I love the way virgins squirm."

Raoul's fists clenched at Vinson's words. The only way he stopped himself from beating down Vinson right there was by picturing the lash marks Jai had received the last time he had tried to intervene. When the boys moved on, Raoul stalked out of the alcove and past Jai and Maggie, brushing against Jai's arm and moving over to stand at the wall behind them. Jai took Maggie's hand and moved them near to Raoul, stationing herself in a little to the side of Raoul and Maggie in front of him, so no one but Maggie could tell they were speaking.

"I need to talk to you. Now," Raoul said. "Can you find a away to duck out of here and go to your rooms alone? I'll come meet you there."

Jai nodded, looking at Maggie, but Raoul knew she was signaling to him. He moved off to go talk to Gary, hiding his anger as well as he could. A few minutes later, Jai was sitting in a chair while Maggie fanned her. Maggie turned and got Vinson's attention, beckoning him over. Vinson spoke to Jai for a few minutes, tapping his foot and looking impatient before Lady Justine of Stone Mountain appeared. She too talked to Jai, then looked around annoyed. Jai said something else, and a look of alarm crossed Lady Justine's face. Finally, she motioned with her hand, and Maggie helped Jai up. The two girls left the room, Jai leaning heavily on Maggie's arm. Raoul waited a little while longer, talking to some of his friends before ducking out a side door. Walking quickly through the halls, he opened up the door to Jai's room without knocking.

Jai turned to look at him. "Raoul, what—"

Raoul walked over and pulled her to him, kissing her hard on the mouth. He picked her up and swept the books and needlepoint off her desk, laying her down on it. Making short work of her laces, he had her out of her gown within minutes. He caressed and kissed her all over, claiming ownership over every inch of skin on her body with his hands and mouth. Only once she was gasping from the pleasure and he was sure that Vinson would never touch any part of her first did Raoul remove his own clothes and the rest of hers. Then, he picked her up and carried her over bed. He slid on top of her kissing up her stomach, over her breasts and up her neck. When reached her mouth, he kissed her gently, and asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," Jai murmured, slipping her arms around him and arching her back. "Please."

Raoul slid into her slowly and gently, kissing her through the initial pain. Raoul watched her face as the pleasurable sensations replaced the pain, adjusting his movements to give her the most pleasure possible before at last he gave into his own.

Afterwards, he lay on his side next to her, caressing her gently on the stomach.

Turning her head to look at him, Jai smiled. "What was that for?"

Raoul shrugged. "I just realized how much we both needed this. That's all."

"And you had to do it in the middle of the ball?"

Raoul shrugged again. "Sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do. Besides, it seemed like a good time. You were given an actual room to yourself, so no one will hear us through the tents and everyone staying around here is at the ball. How did you manage to leave?"

"I told Justine that I was going to lose my stomach all over the ballroom floor. She has no maternal instincts, at least not towards me, so I knew she'd send me away alone," Jai said, running her fingers along the tendons in his forearm. "I wish you could stay the night."

Raoul kissed her gently. "I wish I could too, Jai, but there is no way I can sneak out of here in the morning without getting caught. I better get out before the ball is over. I'll stay until you fall asleep though."

Jai smiled and snuggled into him, closing her eyes and kissing his chest. Within minutes she was in a deep slumber. Despite the absolute peace he felt, Raoul forced himself to get up. He slid the blankets out from under her and covered her with them, pulling off the top blanket to disguise what they'd done. He quickly put his clothes on and cleaned up the room, putting her dress and shoes away and returning the items on the floor to her desk. He even took a nightdress out of her trunk and slipped her into it. She woke slightly as he did so, but didn't protest, obediently holding out her hands and lifting her head so he could remove her jewelry. He checked the room one last time, then leaned down and kissed her forehead before returning to the ball.

----

Little change occurred between them after that night, except that Raoul no longer exercised self-control. He also had to admit to himself that he had fallen completely in love with this girl, and tried constantly to figure out how to stop her from marrying Vinson, but she refused to discuss her "obligations" and insisted the marriage would go forward. It wasn't until the court made their way back to the castle for midwinter that it occurred to Raoul that Vinson had to go through the Chamber of the Ordeal. He began to pin all his hopes on the Chamber taking care of the problem for him.

-----

The last romance chapter!!!! I already have the next chapter written, and at last the action is beginning--the romance doesn't disappear obviously, but the story begins picking up a little.

Did you catch that? I already have the next chapter written. If you really want to read it, just hit the review button and ask me for it!


	11. Chapter 11

Late in the evening, two days after the Progress returned to the castle in Corus, Raoul had finally unpacked fully and was settling into a large chair to do some reading when a frantic knock sounded at her door. He opened the door to Maggie, who rushed into his study without bothering with niceties.

Once Raoul closed the door, Maggie blurted out, "Have you seen Jai?"

"No, why?"

"I ran into her like an hour ago and she'd just had a big fight with Vinson. She was really upset and now I can't find her. Nana doesn't know where she is. I'm afraid she went into the city alone. There's a bar we go to sometimes. I think she may be going on a bender and I don't like the idea of her being in that bar drunk and alone. I just got the word that my Rider group is going after a few killer unicorns, so I can't go get her."

"Stop. I'll go find her. Stop worrying."

"Thank you. It's actually an inn called the Dancing Dove. It's—"

Raoul sighed. "I know where it is. Go. Take care of the killer unicorns. I'll find Jai."

Raoul saddled Drum and rode into the city, retracing a route he'd followed often in his youth. When he arrived at the Dancing Dove, he dismounted and heard a familiar voice call his name. Turning, he smiled when he saw his old friend Marek Swiftknife.

"Hello, Marek. How are you?"

"Good. Good. What are you doing here? I haven't seen any of you down here in ages."

"I'm looking for a noblewoman who may be drinking here."

"Blond. Beautiful. Downing alcohol like it's her savior?"

"Sounds about right."

"She's in here. Come on."

Marek walked in with him and pointed to a table at the corner. Jai was sitting there in a simple gray gown, a blue scarf wrapped around her neck. As Raoul watched, she took a large gulp of hard liquor, then returned to drink down the tankard of ale in front of her. She was sitting with three men, one of whom had a hand on her back and another on her thigh. She was clearly too drunk to even realize what he was doing.

Raoul walked over and touched her on the shoulder. She turned and looked up at.

"Raoul!" she yelled happily then scooted over on the bench she sat on and patted the seat next to her.

"No, Jai. Come on. Let's go."

Jai pouted. "I don't want to go. I want you to stay."

"Please, Jai," Raoul said, reaching out a hand and helping her stand up.

"Hey, she said she didn't want to go," said the man who'd been touching her. He reached out and grabbed her by the waist.

Jai looked around in confusion then said, "No. I'll go with Raoul."

"Come on baby, stay awhile," the man said, sliding one of his hands over her butt.

"Let go of her now," Raoul said through gritted teeth.

"Who are you to tell me what to do? The lady was happy here before you got here."

"Let go," Jai said, trying to tug away and stumbling when the man still held on.

"You're not going anywhere until I get what I want," he said.

Tired of the conversation, Raoul punched the man hard in the jaw, sending him flying back into the table.

Raoul pulled Jai behind him, readying himself for the man's counter attack.

The man stood up and pulled a knife, his two buddies moving behind him.

"Tamer," Marek said, his voice sounding from across the room. "I wouldn't if I were you. Look at him. He'll make you look silly."

Tamer hesitated, then leaned over and spat on the floor. "The slut's not worth it."

Raoul dragged Jai out of the inn and pulled off his cloak, settling it on her shoulders and putting the hood up so no one would recognize her. With difficulty, he managed to get the girl up onto Drum before getting in the saddle behind her. He held her against his chest, keeping her from falling out of the saddle. Once they got to the barracks, Raoul simply picked her up and carried her back to his room. Luckily, it was late enough that no one was around to wonder why Raoul was carrying someone wrapped in a cloak. Once he got in his study, he put her back on her feet. She promptly leaned over and threw up all over his rug. Sighing, he held her hair back and rubbed her back as she emptied her stomach completely.

When she was done, she wiped her face with her gloved had and leaned into him. "I'm sorry," she said, tears streaming down her face. "I don't mean to be so bad. I don't know why you put up with me."

Raoul held her, stroking her hair and making comforting noises. "Come on," he said. "Let's get you cleaned up."

He steered her around the vomit and to his room, sitting her on the bed. He got a cloth and dipped it in some water, gently washing her face. As she rinsed out her mouth with water, Raoul untied the scarf around her neck, revealing four bruises on one side of her neck and one larger one on the other. Someone had grabbed her hard.

"Jai," Raoul breathed, any annoyance he'd felt disappearing instantly.

"I don't want to talk about it," she responded.

He unbuttoned her dress and slipped it off, horrified by the bruises that covered her stomach, back and especially her inner thighs. He pulled off her gloves to reveal swollen knuckles and ripped fingernails.

"This can't continue. We have to tell someone," Raoul said, standing up.

"No," Jai said reaching for him, her voice panicked "No one can know. Please. You can't."

"Alright. Alright. Hush," Raoul said. He pulled back the covers and helped her under them. He stroked her hair. "Sleep."

Raoul waited until Jai had fallen asleep before getting up and walking out of his suite. He turned several times and then knocked hard on one of the doors on a long hallway. After a few moments, George opened the door, wearing only breeches.

"Raoul, what? It's late," George said groggily.

"I know. I'm sorry. I need Alanna."

"At this hour? What's going on?"

"Please, George."

George narrowed his eyes, but sighed and nodded. "I'll get her."

He closed the door and a few moments later, Alanna opened it looking annoyed. "This better be important."

"It is."

The two walked silently to Raoul's suites, and when they walked through to his bedroom, Raoul pulled back the covers gently, revealing the bruises. Alanna took a breath in, but nodded. "You better wait in the study," she said, focusing on the bruises on the girl's thighs.

Raoul nodded and touched Jai's cheek. "Jai, wake up."

When Jai opened her eyes, he said, "Alanna is going to heal you up. Don't worry. You can trust her."

Jai nodded, her eyes closing once again. Alanna sat on the bed, and Raoul left, closing the door behind him.

He stood in the middle of the room, struggling internally before walking over and picking up the flask that Jai had had tucked into one of her stockings. He took a swig of liquor and then threw open the windows and spit the whiskey into the snow outside. He was unsure whether it was his conscious or the poor quality of Jai's whiskey that stopped him from taking his first gulp of whiskey in almost twenty years. He tossed the flask out as well, and then moved to clean up the vomit from his floor. Right after he finished, another knock came at his door. He opened it, revealing Padraig HaMinch.

"Is Jai here?" Padraig asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Do you really want to talk about this in the hall?"

Raoul sighed and opened the door. "She's here. Alanna is healing her."

Padraig nodded. "I ran into my daughter while I was on my way to a meeting. She was frantic and blurted out that she'd gone to you for help with Jai. She didn't bother to explain why. What happened?"

"I don't know exactly, but she's covered in bruises."

Padraig breathed out. "I'll tell Berchard that she went back with my wife and older daughter to my fief. I'll say I was suppose to ask and forgot and just told them he had said fine so that my wife wouldn't get angry. He'll probably buy it. They left this afternoon. They'll be back in a week. Two days before Vinson's ordeal. Hopefully, the chamber will take care of him so she doesn't have to marry him."

"She doesn't either way," Raoul said in frustration.

Padraig looked at him. "You don't know why she's doing this, do you?"

"No."

"It's that fief. Her mother's fief. It passes to her when she marries. She'll be allowed to make all decisions on it independent of her husband. However, the stipulations of the marriage contract between Berchard and her mother state that in order for the fief to pass to her daughter, she can't be disowned. She loves that fief and its people. If she marries someone other than a person he approves of, Berchard disowns her, she doesn't get the fief and it passes to Berchard and his sons. She'll never let Joren, nor any of the other Stone Mountain boys, have that fief."

Raoul closed is eyes, unable to handle this firm evidence of what was going to happen to Jai. She would marry someone else. She would not marry him. And that's what he wanted. Her. Forever. His wife. And he couldn't have her. He could hope she'd get a better husband then Vinson. He couldn't hope it would be him.

After a long pause, Raoul looked up and realized Padraig was still standing in front of him. "Thank you. I'll make sure to have her meet your wife and daughter when they arrive."

Understanding the dismissal, Padraig moved to the door, but paused before opening it. "That girl is like a daughter to me. I don't know what exactly happened between the two of you, but I do know she has been happier in the last months then I've ever seen her before. If you are the reason for that, whatever you did, it was right."

He then opened the door and walked out, leaving Raoul to his thoughts. At last, Alanna came out of his bedroom.

"I've healed the bruises. It's good that you called me. She actually had some internal bleeding from the beating to her stomach. She'll still be sore for a few days. I'll drop by some balm that will help for that tomorrow. She says she managed to keep him from raping her. Looks like it was close though. The girl's a fighter. She broke one of her knuckles and the rest are swollen and her nails are all cracked and broken. He won't be a pretty sight to look at either, and he'll have a tough time explaining those wounds to a healer. You have to take her to the Temple of the Goddess."

Raoul shook his head. "She won't go," he said, the finality and sadness of his word's preventing even Alanna from arguing with him.

"You're in love with her aren't you?"

Raoul nodded. Alanna walked over and hugged the taller man. "If I can do anything, please let me know."

Raoul went to his bedroom and undressed, slipping into bed and curling protectively around Jai. She turned and snuggled into him, her face buried in his neck. Eventually, he fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning he woke up, and for once was not greeted by Jai's face inches from his own. For once, she had slept later then him, and he untangled himself from her carefully, slipped out of bed and dressed silently before leaving to knock on Kel's door.

"My lord?" she said when she answered the door, holding her glaive.

"Sorry to interrupt your morning routine, but would you be so good as to find a servant and have a large amount of food brought to my room. Also, ask that I not have cleanings this week. Something came up with my fief and I'm going to have to be organizing a great deal of information and servants moving papers will be bothersome. Ask Flyn to take care of anything that isn't urgent for the Own just for today. I'll be able to take over again tomorrow. After you do that, go ahead and take the day off. You've been working hard, and I'll be too busy to do lessons with you today."

"Thank you, my lord. Is there anything I can do to help?" Kel asked, looking worried.

"No, no. It's nothing bad, just something I have to deal with promptly."

A few minutes later, a servant knocked on the door, holding a large tray of food, which Raoul carried back to his room. He sat on the bed, and Jai stirred slightly, opening her eyes slowly.

"Good morning," he said, reaching out to stroke her hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Famished."

"A healing will do that. Here you go," Raoul replied, handing her some fruit.

"I have to get back."

"No, you don't. Padraig covered for you. You're supposed to be on your way to his fief right now. You come back in a week. You can stay here. I told the servants I'm working on something important and don't want cleanings for the week so that you won't be disturbed."

"I get to stay here a whole week?" Jai said. "Really?"

Raoul smiled and leaned down to kiss her. "Really. Now eat."

Raoul watched the girl inhale fruit and bread for a few minutes then said, "Padraig told me about the fief. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

Jai shrugged, "I thought you'd think it was a stupid reason, or that you would be mad that I was choosing a fief over you. But I have to. I have a duty to the people on that fief. Joren would starve them to increase the size of his treasury. Besides, I love that fief. I am happiest spending time there. It won't be so bad with Vinson. He'll be away often with his duties as a knight, and I'll get to stay at home at my fief, with my people and maybe children. When my ma was alive we would stay at the fief alone sometimes, and we were so happy. I can hope that at least part of my life will be spent like that."

Raoul moved further on to the bed, leaning against the headboard and tugging Jai onto his lap.

"When did your mother die?" he asked softly.

"A few months before my fifth birthday."

"What happened?"

"She broke her neck falling down a flight of stairs."

"Wait, you said you were almost five? And your 23 now, and Joren is 18. How long after your mother's death was he born?"

"Seven and a half months," Jai said quietly.

Raoul held Jai and rubbed her back as he felt her tears soak into his shirt.

"Jai, look at me," Raoul said, wiping the tears off her face. "I want to tell you something. I love you. I understand what you are doing completely, but if you ever need anything from me in the future, if I can help you at all, I want you to promise you'll come to me."

Jai looked down. "I'm sorry I got you messed up in all this. You don't deserve it," she said.

Raoul lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. "Did you hear me? I love you. No matter what happens, I wouldn't change what happened between us for the world. Now, promise me you'll come to me if you need help."

"I will. Thank you. I love you, too," Jai said, reaching up to kiss him.

After a few minutes, Raoul pulled away with a sigh. "I need to get some reports in order today. I let them pile up with the Progress, and I need to organize the papers I just got from each of the sergeants."

"Can I help?" asked Jai.

"Are you sure you're feeling up to it?" Raoul asked.

"Yes," she said, climbing out of bed and walking over to his dresser to tug on one of his shirts. She walked into his study and spent the rest of the day helping him sort through piles and decide on budgets.

Raoul looked over at her, surrounded by a pile of papers and smiled. "I think its time for bed. You've been yawning since the last bell and need to sleep. Thank you. It usually takes me a week to do what we did today, and you fixed the budget things quite nicely. You'll do a good job running your fief."

Jai smiled back at him. "Thank you. I like doing that kind of thing. And I think you're right about bed, but maybe not the sleeping part," she said, walking to the door of the bedroom and smiling flirtatiously at him. Raoul quickly got up and followed her in, closing the bedroom door firmly behind him.

-----

So, the action slowly begins. This is one of two or three transitional actioney/romancey chapters before it slipts into largely action. Hope you liked it! Thanks to people who reviewed. I really appreciate it. Keep it up! And the rest of you start reviewing! The more reviews I have, the guiltier I feel about not writing more.


	12. Chapter 12

Raoul didn't sleep the night of Vinson's ordeal. He didn't even bother to try. The last week with Jai he'd really understood what it would be like to have her around all the time, to sleep with her every night, to talk about little things with her, to have her flitting around his rooms laughing and organizing and kissing and teasing. He hadn't been able to sleep last night without her, and tonight all he could do was pray that the Chamber gave Vinson everything he deserved.

He sat in his study and waited, and eventually the knock came at his door. Opening it, he saw Alanna.

"Vinson wants a presence with the King and Queen," she said.

Raoul nodded. "I'll get Kel. Thank you for telling me."

Raoul shook Kel awake and the two of them walked quickly to the palace courtroom. Jai was already there, dressed in black, sitting between her father and Vinson's father. Vinson burst into the room shortly afterwards, bruises forming and disappearing on all visible parts of his body. As he confessed to beating and raping women in the lower city and begged their majesties to tell the Chamber to let him free of the Chambers punishment, Raoul noticed four bruises form on one side of his neck and a fifth on the other side. Satisfaction rushed through Raoul as he realized Vinson was feeling every bruise he put on Jai, as well as the bruises he gave to other girls. Jai kept her head high, never flinching at Vinson's words. Burchard leaned over his daughter and spoke briefly to Vinson's father, who nodded shortly at the man before getting up to see to his eldest son. Kel on the other hand, was noticeably bothered by what was being said. Raoul tried half-heartedly to get Kel to tell him what was wrong, but was too focused on Jai to pursue the matter after Kel disappeared.

Maggie moved from her seat near Raoul and sat next to her friend. She whispered something in Jai's ear, then gave the other girl a hug before Lord Burchard stood up and snapped his fingers at Jai, demanding that she follow. Jai obeyed his command, following him silently out of the room, never once looking towards Raoul.

Later that evening, Jai knocked and walked into Raoul's study. She took off her shoes, sat on his desk and placed her feet on his chair one on each armrest. She placed her elbows on her knees and sighed.

"Hello," Raoul said with a smile. "Why the long face?"

"What if those attacks were my fault?" Jai said softly. "Every time I forced him away or avoided him, do you think he went into the city and took it out on women in the Lower City?"

"Jai, this is not your fault. You can't blame yourself for what he did," Raoul said. "The Chamber made him pay. You're free of him now. You should be happy."

Jai smiled bitterly. "Free? I'll never be free."

"It could be better. There's no one out there as bad as Vinson would have been. Perhaps you can marry—" Jai cut him off with a kiss.

Raoul kissed her back and began to unlace her gown. With a sigh, Jai pulled away, "I have to get back. Joren's ordeal is tonight and the family will definitely notice if I am gone. Good night."

Raoul went to bed late that night after sitting up wondering if he could somehow figure out a way to make things work with Jai. Perhaps if he offered to marry her with no dowry, Burchard would be willing to let them marry and let Jai keep the fief. Finally, he got up and went to bed, falling to sleep quickly. He was woken far earlier then normal by sounds coming from his squire's room. He flung open the door to Kel's room to find none other than Burchard himself screaming at Kel. He pulled Burchard off Kel and slammed him into the wall, unable to control himself now that he had the opportunity to vent his anger. Once things had calmed down slightly, he realized they were saying that Joren had died in the chamber, and for some reason blaming Kel. Once he'd gotten them out of Kel's room, he spent a few minutes assuring Kel that it was most definitely not her fault Joren had died. He also added that he knew from previous conversations with others that Joren had been nasty far before Kel got into the picture. He then returned to his own bed and stayed awake all night wondering how Jai was taking the news and whether he had just ruined any chance he had of marrying her.

Two days later, Jai finally knocked on his door. Seeing the strange look on her face, Raoul pulled her into a hug. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"I don't know. I'm still in a daze. I hated him. He was awful, but he was my brother. Father made him that way. I'm not sure he had a chance to be different. I don't know how I feel. Actually, I don't want to talk about this," she said, moving to sit on the desk and pulling him to her. "I don't want to think about this. Let's just forget. Together."

Raoul leaned her back onto the desk, happy to comply. A knock on his door interrupted the two's enthusiastic attempts to forget.

"Raoul?" Jon called.

Raoul got off the desk quickly re-lacing his breeches as Jai attempted to do tie her laces and smooth her skirt back down.

"Raoul what are you doing in there? We need to meet with you," Jon said.

"Just a second," Raoul called, shoving his shirt into his pants. Jai took a step towards the door when she saw the doorknob turn. Gasping, she dove under Raoul's desk. Raoul sat in the chair in front of her as Jon walked in, followed by Gary, George, Alanna and Numair.

"What were you doing?" Jon asked, curiously.

"Nothing. I was just in the bedroom and didn't hear you at first," Raoul said, trying to breath normally and pretend that there wasn't a partially undressed girl at his feet. "What's this about?"

"Two things. First, we've got word of a spidren attack up north that we need you to take care of after this. Second, we've been getting word of omens springing up. Great danger for Tortall." Jon said, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Plus George is getting chatter that something is going on, perhaps with assassins, but its all very vague and whispered rumors.

Raoul started to speak when he felt Jai's hand move up his thigh and give a gentle squeeze. Raoul started and then coughed to hide the sound of Jai's giggling.

"Are you alright?" Jon asked.

"Fine. Fine," Raoul said hastily. "Nothing more specific from the omens?"

Numair shook his head. "It's very confusing. A very gifted seer I know claims that her visions speak of a prophecy that must be fulfilled for Tortall's safety. That's the clearest message I've been able to find, and I can't find any prophecies relevant. I feel like I've read something, but I just can't quite remember. And the rest of the omens and seers' wisdom is all over the place. Some say the danger is imminent. Some say it is in the future. Just be careful."

"Do you want me to increase your guards, Jon?" Raoul asked.

Jon sighed. "Not for now. I don't want to make people nervous for no reason. Alanna and George are going to stay here rather then return to Pirates Swoop for Midwinter. I'm hoping that will be protection enough."

Raoul nodded. "I still think maybe we should up at least some of the guards, especially if you are leaving the palace for any reason. Perhaps you, Roald and Thayet should try to make sure you always have at least one other person with you wherever you go on the off chance there is something to this assassination threat."

They talked a little while longer; Raoul trying not to react to Jai's attempts to distract him. Finally, to Raoul's relief, they all got up to leave. George was the last of the group to go, and before he walked out the door he raised an eyebrow at Raoul before looking pointedly at the desk and giving him a wink.

As soon as they left, Raoul pulled Jai out from under the desk and put her squarely on top of it.

"What did you think you were doing down there?" he asked.

"Being naughty," she said with a smile. "You may need to teach me a lesson."

Raoul laughed and kissed her. As he trailed kisses down her neck, he said "I wish I had time, but I have terribly important things to do."

Jai whimpered slightly, her eyes closed and her head leaned back. "Please," she whispered.

With a groan, Raoul pulled away and finished lacing up her dress. "Duty calls, but I'll finish this when I get back. Promise."

Jai smiled at him sadly. "Good-bye Raoul. Goddess bless," she said, kissing him gently. "I love you," she added as she walked out the door.

Three weeks later, Third Company returned, bruised by largely unharmed after finally tacking down and killing the immortals they'd been chasing. Raoul had thought of Jai constantly on the ride back to Corus. With Vinson out of the way, he couldn't help but hope that somehow he and Jai could figure out a way to make things work, even if her father hated him.

"Look, my lord. A wedding," Kel said pointing in front of her and bringing Raoul out of his imaginary future and into the present. "Do you know who that is?"

Raoul shook his head, watching a woman in a veil and long white gown walk towards a carriage, her hand on her new husband's arm. She lifted the veil off her face as they approached, and as she stepped into the carriage she turned and looked in their direction. Raoul's heart almost stopped as Jai's blue eyes caught his own for instant before she disappeared into the carriage.

---

Please Review i love you when you review. Lots of work next week or so so prob not every other day updates for a bit--unless i decide to procrastinate a ton which i usually do. also abyssgrl thanks for the mom thing, i totally didnt notice i used that.


	13. Chapter 13

In a daze, Raoul mechanically rode back to the stables, groomed Drum and went back to his room. He knew he'd given all the necessary orders and said something to Kel, but he couldn't remember what he said. Once he got to his room, he shut the door and locked it, not wanting to be disturbed. He moved towards his bedroom when he noticed a stack of books, a slender wrapped package and a letter sitting on his desk.

_Dear Raoul,_

_By the time you read this, I will be married and on my way to my fief with my husband, Barner of Genlith. He is Vinson's younger brother (by a little less then a year) and has just finished mage training at university. I am sorry I did not tell you that I would in all likelihood be married when you returned. I didn't want to distract you while you were fighting immortals and I didn't really see any use in telling you since I thought perhaps Joren's death would lead to a delay in the wedding. If anything, however, it seemed to make my father more eager then ever to have me married off to a Genlith. _

_Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I have my fief and memories of us to sustain me. Thank you for everything. I was happier with you then I have ever been in my whole life. I will always love you. I left you the books of yours I still had, and in the package is a sketch Maggie drew some time ago. I thought you might want it. _

_All my love,_

_Jai_

Raoul opened the package and as he looked at the sketch, he managed a small smile. It was a sketch of him and Jai at that first ball. Peas were flying through the air and Raoul was clearly trying not to laugh. The Jai's look was the same look that appeared on a child's face when he or she has been caught doing some minor mischief. It was a perfect representation of them both, down to every detail. He felt an ache deep inside him as he remembered that first meeting and the absolute liveliness that filled Jai. The image of her stuck in marriage, bound by her husband's wishes made him feel physically ill. He realized he would never hold her again, never fall asleep to the steady sound of her breathing, never hear her happy laugh echo through his room. Raoul willed himself up off the desk and moved to put the books away on his shelf. Then he reached and pulled out the book he had first loaned to Jai and stuck the sketch and letter inside, where he could always find them if he wanted them.

A knock came at the door, and Raoul quickly put the book away and opened the door. A messenger for the King stood at the door.

"The King requests that you and Third Company return to the Progress immediately and with all haste."

"We are supposed to get a little bit of a break at the castle before we re-join the Progress."

"The King says he needs you there now. He left this note for you. He wants you to leave the day after tomorrow at the latest."

_Raoul,_

_I need you and Third Company here as soon as possible. George knows a mercenary who was approached to see if he and his men would be willing to fight against the crown. The mercenary was unable to identify the man, so he has probably continued his search. Hurry. I need you here protecting my family._

_Jon_

Raoul tensed immediately.

"Kel," he yelled.

Kel came scurrying in, unused to be addressed so gruffly.

"Kel, I need you to get Flyn and all the sergeants in my study now. Tell Flyn to first tell everyone we leave tomorrow at dawn to re-join the Progress, and to prepare for a hard, quick ride there."

Kel nodded and rushed off to do his bidding. Raoul quickly began un-packing and re-packing his saddle bags with clean clothing and maps for the areas the Progress was going on. He reached to grab one of his shirts that was on his bed and found himself unable to breath as Jai's lavender scent suddenly filled the room. She always wore that shirt when she stayed with him, and after moment's hesitation, Raoul shoved it into his bag with the rest of his things. When he heard the men entering his study, he walked back into the room. He motioned for Kel to stay, then sat down in his chair.

"I know we all expected some time off, but things have changed. We have verified information that someone is trying to assemble mercenaries against the crown. We don't know who it is or what the plan is, but we need to assume that assassination attempts are a possibility. We need to get back to the Progress now, and you all must be extremely alert at all times. Each squad will have a particular member of the royal family that they must watch. Flyn and I will come up with assignments during the ride. I play to have two squads each focusing on the King, the Queen, Prince Roald, and Princess Shinkokami. One of the two squads assigned to them must always be near. The other squads will watch the rest of the Conte children. They will probably all stay together except for Kalasin, so you may need to split up some, but the most likely targets are those main four, so that's out focus. Tell your squads, but tell them under no circumstances is this available for gossip. One word to anyone or even chatting to each other and they will face severe punishment and most likely be expelled from the Own. I'm laid back usually, but I won't be on this. Go."

The next morning Third Company left and rode hard for the Progress. During the entire journey, Raoul's thoughts moved back and forth between pain over Jai's marriage and worry about the plots against the throne. Three days later, they caught up to the Progress. The Own spent the next several weeks keeping a close eye on the royal family, but no attack was made. This left Raoul with more time to contemplate Jai then he wished. Occasionally there would be moments where he would forget about Jai entirely, then out of nowhere something would remind him and his feelings of loss and anger would overwhelm him in a rush until he felt like he could hardly draw air into his lungs. Overtime though, he learned to control the emotion. As the weeks turned to months and the dreary balls blurred together, he fine-tuned his feelings so that it was no longer such a shock every time he thought of her. He still missed her constantly, especially on this dreadful Progress. At every ball, he thought about shared glances, snatches of conversations and stolen kisses they'd indulged in at previous balls. Every time he sat down to dinner around a campfire, he'd think about Jai throwing rocks at him to get his attention so they could disappear together into the woods. When he pitched his tent, and slid into his bedroll, he thought about Jai sneaking in to curl up next to him.

When Scanra invaded Tortall, and full on war was declared, Raoul couldn't help but be thankful that the Progress abruptly ended. Unfortunately, George's sources were still coming up with threats, although the spymaster was frustrated constantly in his attempts to discover exactly what the plan was or who was organizing it. He did know that many of the men known to fight for whoever paid the most seemed to have disappeared, and the omens were only increasing in frequency. Jon had insisted that until the threat was completely gone, Third Company had to stay in Corus. Raoul grudgingly agreed that he was needed more in Corus than at the border, but he and Jon both knew the troops would be needed up North soon. They returned to Corus not long after Midsummer, and there was a blissful two weeks free of balls until Princess Shinkokami's birthday celebration forced everyone out for a celebration. Since so many were already at the border fighting, all of Third Company was required to be in attendance so there would be a sufficient number of dance partners for the young women. While many of his men were extremely excited, Raoul would far rather have been in battle up North than appearing at yet another ball.

Raoul had dutifully attended the ball and even managed mild amusement at some of his men's antics. He was standing with Thayet laughing as he watched Dom stand behind Aiden making exactly the same movements as Aiden while Aiden flirted outrageously with one of the court women. Unaware that the girl was giggling at Dom's impersonations and not Aiden's jokes, Aiden continued to woo her in earnest. Then, without warning, Jai walked into the room on the arm of Barner, and he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He'd been completely unprepared to see her and all the pain came rushing back with jolt. When he examined her further, what he saw didn't comfort him. If you didn't know her as well as he did, you might have thought she looked happy. A smile graced her lips, and she nodded as her husband addressed her, but Raoul could seen the deadness in her eyes, and the way she grimaced when someone bumped her hard in the side. Looking hard at her jaw, Raoul was fairly certain he could see a faint purple bruise under the prodigious amount of face paint she was wearing. Thayet touched his arm, forcing him to focus on her.

"Raoul, are you alright?" Thayet asked, looking at him in concern. "You've gone so pale."

"I'm fine. I think I need some air," Raoul said. "I'll be back soon."

Raoul turned and quickly walked outside to the gardens. He sat on a bench away from the door to the ballroom, hoping to avoid being spotted for awhile. He leaned over and put his head in his hands, worried that he might actually vomit. He was so focused, that he didn't notice anyone had sat down next to him until he felt Jai's cool hand on the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry," he heard her say. "I tried to get word to you that we were coming, but wasn't able to."

He nodded numbly, the feeling of her hand on his skin sending a cool rush through him that was at once soothing and horribly painful. Finally, after a few moments of letting her hands gently move through the curls of his hair in a reassuring display of tenderness, Raoul looked at her.

"He's beating you, isn't he?" he said.

Jai looked down, taking her hand away and looking at her lap. "It is what it is," she said softly. "I've been put through this all my life. True, there's a new…element to the pain, but I know how to deal with it. I'm really fine. You don't need to worry about me."

"Don't lie to me, Jai. It's bad, isn't it? I saw you wince when that man knocked into you, and you can't hide the bruise on your chin. He's could kill you if he keeps this up."

Jai looked away. "Don't exaggerate," she said. "I'll be fine. I should go. He'll start wondering where I am soon."

Raoul reached out and grabbed her arm. "You don't have to put up with this. Go to the Temple of the Goddess. I understand you want to keep your fief, but you can't let him do this to you. It's not just the physical pain I'm talking about. He's destroying you slowly. I can see it in your eyes."

"Stop being so melodramatic," Jai snapped. "I made my choice. I followed through with my duty. I will continue to do so. I will not leave my fief to be taken by Barner. Under the law, he can do what he wishes with me. I will do my duty. You of all people should understand that."

She wrenched her arm out of his grip and stormed off, returning to the ball. She didn't make eye contact with him for the rest of the night. Instead, she stood next to her husband, chatting with all of the most conservative men in the court. Barner kept a protective hold on her for all the night. Thoroughly depressed, Raoul left as early as possible. Once he got to his room, he took the book of his shelf and opened it. He pulled out the sketch of Jai and looked at it, tracing the change he could already see in her. Deciding he'd tortured himself long enough, he put the picture away, returned the book to its spot on the shelf, and moved slowly to his bedroom.

---

Yay for reviews! Thanks everyone. I really, really should have done hwk instead of write this, but this is so much more fun and I always manage to get my work done in the end......


	14. Chapter 14

"Raoul!" Jon shouted, breaking through Raoul's melancholy thoughts.

"What?" Raoul said, a little dazed.

"We're talking about a possible rebellion we have no information on, and you're not even paying attention. What is the matter with you lately?" Jon demanded.

"Oh, Jonathan leave him alone," Alanna snapped. 'It's hard to pay attention to when we are just at another meeting about bad omens and with no new information. Besides, you keep forcing us through these dratted balls that neither Raoul nor I want to go to, after two years of that idiotic Progress. It's no wonder we can't concentrate, you've destroyed our brains with socializing. And you're making us go to anther one tonight."

As Jon and Alanna squabbled for a few minutes, Raoul was able to collect his thoughts and concentrate again. Interrupting them before full on war could occur, Raoul said, "What were you asking me before this all started?"

"I was telling you that First Company was going to have to stay up North since we obviously still need Third Company here."

"This isn't sustainable, Jon," Raoul said. "Glasidan is not going to be able to hold the border alone for much longer. Third Company probably would do a better job up there alone then Second Company."

Jon sighed. "I know. I know, but I don't feel comfortable sending my best force away from the capital if we have a rebellion afoot."

"Is there any way we can get more information? Numair, have you gotten anywhere finding this prophecy?" Raoul asked.

Numair shook his head, his frustration clear. "I don't even know what I'm looking for. I have this sense that maybe I've read something relevant, but I've read a lot of prophecies, and our library doesn't have some of the volumes of prophecies of old. I've contacted mages in Carthak. They are going to try and help us find something."

"I'm not getting anywhere either," George said. "Mercenaries are the one unethical element I did not have a lot of contact with, since they usually had their own leaders. Our only hope now is that one of my men who are working on the job can find one of the mercenaries and get him or her to flip."

A knock sounded at the door, and George and Alanna's daughter, Aly, entered without waiting to be summoned. She walked quickly over to her father and handed him a paper. She leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He grinned and kissed his daughter's cheek. "Well done, younglin'. Now be gone with you."

Once Aly had left, George said, "This might just be our break. Aly decided to decode some messages, and I got word from one of my men that he has information for me. I need to leave now if I'm going to meet him."

"Good luck," Jon said seriously. George nodded and stood, pausing a moment to kiss Alanna before leaving the room.

The group spent a few more minutes talking before Jon let them all go. Alanna hurried out, but Raoul caught up with her easily.

"Thank you," he said.

Alanna smiled at him. "I know how difficult things must have been for you lately, and I wanted an excuse to pick a fight with Jonathan anyways. He's been a bit of a prig lately, and it's good for him if we get in a row now and then. Now, I'm going to try and catch George before he runs off to Mithros only knows where."

She gave his arm a sympathetic squeeze, then rushed off. Raoul turned to walk back to his room, when Gary stopped him.

"Geoffrey is bringing Lady Maura to court today. I just received word that they arrived. Numair, Daine and I were going to go greet them. Want to come?"

Raoul smiled, happy for the distraction his old friend would bring. "Of course, I haven't seen Geoffrey in ages. I always seem to be away from Corus when he's here, and he's always in Dunlath when I'm in Corus."

Gary and Raoul walked quickly through the castle and across the grounds, stopping just as a carriage came inside of the palace walls. Sir Geoffrey of Meron hopped off the horse he rode as his ward, Lady Maura of Dunlath exited in the carriage without waiting for anyone to open the door. As Daine and Maura hugged each other enthusiastically, Raoul and Geoff clapped each other on the back and exchanged pleasantries.

"Maura," a voice called. The whole group turned as Jai rushed at Maura and gave her a tight hug.

"Jai!" Maura yelled, hugging her back. "Cousin, it is so good to see you," she cried. "I haven't seen you since we were little girls. How are you? How's your new husband?"

"Everything is good, especially now that you've joined us at court. I've already gotten you're room all set up for you, and there's a warm meal and bath water there if you want it," Jai said.

"That's lovely. I can't wait--Is that a bruise on your chin?" Maura asked, interrupting herself abruptly and looking at her cousin in concern. "That looks quite nasty under all that face paint you have on."

Jai blushed, refusing to look in Raoul's direction. "You know me. I'm terribly clumsy. I fell down and hit my jaw."

Maura frowned. "You should get a healer to see to that."

"I will. I will. I just haven't had a chance to yet," Jai replied, a forced-looking smile on her face. Come on, let's get you up to your room." She linked arms with Maura and walked past Raoul towards the castle.

"Maura wait a moment," Geoffrey said, forcing Jai to stop while she was right next to Raoul. Geoffrey and Maura talked for a few moments, but neither Jai nor Raoul heard a word of what was being said, both completely conscious of the small amount of space between them. Jai looked at her feet until the conversation was over, while Raoul forced himself to chat with Gary. At last the conversation between Maura and Geoffrey was over, and the two women walked inside the castle.

"It was good to see you, Geoffrey," Raoul said. "I'll let you get settled in, and see you later."

Raoul quickly walked back to the Own's stables, praying silently to any gods listening that Gary had not noticed anything odd. He saddled Drum and managed to calm his thoughts some by spending several bells practicing jousting with a small wooden ring. When the bell before dinner sounded, Raoul sighed and took Drum back to the barracks. Once he brushed his horse thoroughly, he returned to his room, bathed quickly and readied for the ball that evening. When he reached the dinner and realized where he was sitting, he wondered what god was punishing him. Lady Maura sat on his left, and Jai sat on his right, her husband sat on her other side.

Jai flushed slightly as Raoul sat down next to her.

"Good evening, Lord Raoul," she said softly.

"Good evening, Lady Jai and to you, Lady Maura," Raoul replied.

"Jai, how is your fief doing? In your last letter you said you were planning to add a new crop into your rotation. Did that work?" Maura asked, speaking as quickly as Jai used to.

Jai was forced to lean close to Raoul so Maura could hear her response, and Raoul was painfully conscious of Jai's arm pressed against his. He ate mechanically, trying not to show any sign of what her presence was doing to him. This close he could smell the lavender scent she favored, and it brought back memories of holding her close with such strength that Raoul could hardly bear the weight of them.

"Honestly, Jai," Barner sneered, interrupting Jai's description of the new system she'd set up so the people on her fief would be able to see the healer more easily. "You coddle your people a ridiculous amount, and it's costing us money. Those rats don't need every single sniffle to be healed, which is what will happen if you promise to start paying the healer for his supplies."

Jai shifted away from Raoul as she turned to her husband. "I disagree my lord, and it's my decision what happens on my fief."

"As your husband, I am telling you this decision is a terrible one. The peasants owe you money. You shouldn't be spending your money on them when you allow them to work your land."

Realizing Jai was about to respond angrily and worried about the beating she'd take for that response, Raoul slid a hand on her knee under the table and squeezed slightly, trying to signal her to be careful.

Jai breathed in sharply, then shook her head and said, "You may be right, my lord. I'll think about it some more before I make a decision."

"Well, I think you're right, Jai," Maura said. "Besides, if the people are healthier, they can do their work better."

Barner and Maura spent the rest of the dinner arguing, leaving Jai and Raoul to sit in silence. As Raoul took his hand off her leg, Jai looked up at him and gave him a small smile of thanks. Both Jai and Raoul ate without a word, but throughout the dinner they bumped into each other and pressed their legs against each other unnecessarily, both willing to take joy in the simple feeling of togetherness. As the desserts were being served, a messenger came in and whispered something in Jon's ear. Jon went pale and leaned over to say something to Thayet, before standing and commanding everyone's attention.

"Lords and ladies," he said. "I have bad news. Commander Glasidan of Haryse is dead, along with all the members of two squads of the King's Own save one. They died heroically defending Tortall from Scanran invaders. We will remember them as heroes. In respect to their memory, this ball is now over."

As Jon spoke, Jai laced her fingers through Raoul's under the table, and scooted as close as possible, her weight against his arm a slight comfort as he processed the death of 19 of his men and one of his commanders. Knowing Jon would want to meet to discuss this new information, Raoul sat for a moment after his speech, letting Jai's presence soak into him before he let go of her hand and stood up. He and the rest of Jon's closest advisors left quickly, heading towards Jon's study.

Once they were gathered, Raoul demanded, "What happened?"

Jon sighed, "Glasidan apparently misinterpreted tracks and only took two squads when meeting what turned out to be a large contingent of Scanran troops."

Raoul slammed his fist on the table. "Gods curse it, Jon. I told you he wasn't fit to command."

"I know. I'm sorry. I think you know how sorry I am."

Raoul nodded, then said, "I know, but Second Company can't stay there alone anymore, Jon."

"I know. We'll send three more squads of Riders up immediately, but I want you to wait until George comes back. If George comes back with no information, you will go up and Second Company can come back to Corus."

Raoul opened his mouth to argue, but Alanna interrupted, "George didn't think he'd be gone more than a day, Raoul. It will take you at least that long to get Third Company ready."

Raoul grimaced. "Very well. Let's hope he comes back with good news."

"So mote it be," echoed from around the table. After spending a little while longer discussing tactics and positioning of troops, the group dispersed. Raoul went back to his room, the combined grief of the death of his men and Jai's situation threatening to overwhelm him. When he opened the door, however, he saw Jai standing next to the bookshelf. She turned to look at him, a fresh black eye still swelling on her face. Raoul closed the door and the two both crossed the room in long strides, wrapping their arms around each other and bringing their lips together in a passionate kiss.

----

Review! Pretty please, with a cherry on top?


	15. Chapter 15

As Raoul kissed the soft flesh right above Jai's belly button, he realized that despite all of the surrounding circumstances, he still felt completely content. Lying on top of Jai, his head on her stomach, her thighs tightening playfully around his ribs, her fingers roaming through his hair, Raoul couldn't even begin to fathom the world outside his bed.

"You've got a freckle just under your right breast. It's the only one on your whole chest. Did you know that?" Raoul asked.

"Really?" Jai said idly. "I had no idea."

"Yes," Raoul leaned forward and kissed the freckle. "Right there."

Jai smiled. "Anything else I need to know about down there?"

The two continued to chat quietly and intimately about small things. They didn't talk about what would happen when morning came. They didn't talk about the older bruises dotting Jai's body, the fresh black eye her husband had given her before leaving for Genlith, or the pain she'd felt when they began their love-making and insisted they continue through. They didn't talk about the deaths in the Own, the war in Scanra or the possible rebellion. They didn't talk about these things because they were simply irrelevant. All that mattered was that they were together in that moment in that place. Eventually they grew tired, and Raoul spooned Jai in their usual fashion and both quickly fell asleep, breathing as one.

When the knock sounded at the door well before dawn, Jai didn't stir, bur Raoul, used to late-night calls to duty, woke instantly. He tried to shut his eyes and pretend the noise hadn't occurred, completely unwilling to leave the bed, but then the knock came again. This time Jai stirred slightly, and Raoul immediately slipped out of bed, pulled on breeches and walked through his bedroom to his study door, hurrying to keep the visitor from breaking Jai's peace.

He wrenched the door open to find Jon, Thayet, Alanna, George, Roald, Numair, Gary, Buri, Duke Gareth and Myles standing in front of him. He held the door open wide, allowing them in and pulling the shirt he'd grabbed over his head.

George spoke first. "One of my men found a mercenary willing to flip. Apparently, Vinson of Genlith raped and beat his baby sister. When he heard his leader had taken a job with the Genliths, he took off. He doesn't know what other nobles are involved, but I would bet all the money in Tortall their Stone Mountain neighbors at least are involved, and probably at least two or three other of those southern conservative families that are clustered together. The four or five of them could make a viable attempt to break away from Tortall, considering the wealth in those families and the war with Scanra."

Jon closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "What are we going to do?" he asked softly. "We can't say for sure what their plans are or where the mercenaries are located since George's source split so fast."

Alanna looked at Raoul, a question in her eyes. Raoul thought over his options, then nodded and stood up. "One moment," Raoul said, walking out of the study and into his bedroom. He closed the door behind him and sat down next on the bed, watching Jai sleep. After a moment, he reached out and touched her cheek. "Jai," he said softly. "Wake up love."

Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled. "Hello," she mumbled.

"Hello," Raoul said, smiling back at her and pushing her hair out of her face. "Look, we've just gotten a report that the Genliths are planning some sort of revolt. We think some of the other southern conservative families are involved. The King and Queen and their closest advisors are in my study now. Don't feel like you have to, but we could use your help."

Jai sat up and got out of his bed immediately, not bothering to think over her options. She pulled on her loincloth and one of his shirts, then padded barefoot into Raoul's study, Raoul close behind her.

"So, my husband's family and my parents are rebelling," she said as she as she entered the room, standing with her hands on her hips. "Sounds like maybe you could use my help."

Jon and everyone else in the room, except Alanna and George, gapped at Jai and then at Raoul.

"Raoul, what in the name of Mithros is going on here?" Jon finally said.

"That is really not relevant is it?" Jai said tartly. "Now if you want my help, I have some stipulations."

Jon raised his eyebrows at Raoul, but then he focused on Jai. "What do you want?" he asked.

"My fief and Stone Mountain. I want them to go to me. I don't want the commoners on any of the fiefs to suffer for their lords' folly, and I want my fief to become matrilineal. It is to pass to the first daughter of my family and her daughter and so on with no stipulations or guardianship beyond what the girl herself desires. That will also apply to me. My father will no longer be able to claim ownership over my fief by disowning me."

"Just your fief is matrilineal? Not Stone Mountain?"

"That's correct. Stone Mountain can continue to pass to my male children."

"You're requests are unusual."

"So? Will you do what I want?"

Jon sighed and looked at Thayet, who nodded. "We will do as you ask if you help us stop them from separating from Tortall. I swear it."

Jai looked at Raoul, who nodded to let Jai know she could trust Jon. "This is so much worse then you think it is."

"How can it be worse?" Gary said.

"Do you know who I am? Who my mother was? She was the sister of Lady Maura of Dunlath's father. I am your closest relative, your majesty, after your own children and Lady Maura. Which is why my father was so insistent that I married a Genlith."

"A Genlith why a Genlith?" Jon asked.

"The Genliths are the last remaining link to the Rudae family."

"That's not possible," Gary said. "All the Rudaes are dead."

"Who are the Rudaes?" Buri asked.

"The family that ruled before the Contes unceremoniously took their throne away from them. It was way back in the dark ages, when Tortall was much smaller then it is today, but most of the fiefs were those old blue-blood southern fiefs," Jon said, his face pale.

"It doesn't matter who they are. They're dead," Gary reiterated. "Look, girl I don't know why you think this, but you're wrong."

"I'm not," Jai said evenly. "May I please use your chair?"

When Gary didn't move, Raoul dragged his chair around to Jai. Jai smiled at him and pulled the chair in front of his bookshelf. She climbed up and reached for the top shelf. When she still couldn't reach, she balanced on the arms of the chair, reaching up on her tip-toes, and causing every man in the room to automatically watch her shirt creep up the back of her thighs. Raoul glared at all of them, and Alanna and Thayet giggled. Reaching for the top shelf, Jai lifted her left leg off the chair, causing it to wobble precariously. Just as she successfully grabbed the book she was looking for, the chair tipped and Raoul caught her by the waist as she toppled. Jai cried out as he put pressure on the large bruise on her side while catching her and putting her down.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quietly, steadying her gently.

She nodded and turned back to the group rustling through the book she'd grabbed. Once she found the page she wanted, she placed it triumphantly in front of Gary, her finger pointing to a paragraph in the middle of the page.

Gary frowned, then read aloud, "After the Great War, only the Rudae's youngest door survived. She was married to the eldest son of the Lord of Genlith in honor of the Genlith support of the Conte family during the war. How did you know that?"

Jai shrugged. "I read that book when I stayed here for a few days and was desperately looking for something to do while Raoul was training with the men. I always remember what I read."

"You're quite intelligent aren't you," Gary said.

Jai smiled. "I hide it well. I am supposed to leave for Genlith tomorrow. I'll do what I can to find out what they are up to. Is there a way I can get messages to you?"

George frowned, "Is there any servants you trust?"

Jai nodded. "All of the servants in Genlith prefer me to the rest of the family, except for Barner's mother. I find it unlikely she is involved in this. Beating women is something the Genlith boys came by naturally. I also know some of the commoners at Genlith. The people of my fief will be happy to fight and they are very capable of defending themselves. The Stone Mountain people will be equally willing, but less healthy and almost completely untrained."

George drummed his fingers on the table. "Can any of your people credibly get outside the wall? I can easily have a man receive messages outside of the wall."

"I can make that work. Do you have maps of Genlith and Stone Mountain? I can show you where it would be best for your men to be. I don't know Genlith that well, but I do know a few ways your people might be able to get into Stone Mountain to have a look around."

Raoul pulled out his map of the southern fiefs and he and Jai moved everything off his desk and unfurled it. Jai pointed to various points on the map, describing caves, wooded areas and where the peasants lived who lead the rest. Once they all began to talk strategies for fighting the mercenaries, Raoul noticed Jai yawning.

"You can go to bed now, Jai," he whispered in her ear. "You'll need your wits about you if you're going to pull this off."

"I'll stay here until they leave. I want to stay with you," she whispered back, curling into the chair next to him and settling her head on his shoulder. She fell asleep quickly, undisturbed by the discussion going on around her.

The meeting continued through much of the night, but at last the tired group decide to they had decided as much as they could without more information.

Gary looked over at the sleeping girl and said, "How long has this been going on Raoul?"

Raoul sighed, "This is the first time since she was married. Before that, I suppose it began that night Buri spoke about."

"You mean she actually succeeded?" Buri said with a grin.

"I paniced. She was about to throw a tantrum."

"I should heal some of those bruises," Alanna said, standing up and moving towards Jai.

"Don't," Raoul said sadly. "He'll just beat her more if he finds out she's gone to a healer."

In a surprising outburst, Thayet said, "How can this go on here? I'd expect it in Saren, but this is Tortall, and she's a smart girl. How and why are women still beaten in this country?"

"You heard her requests. Her fief is everything to her. She controls it as long as she isn't disowned by her father. At least now we know why he was so admient about her marriage to Barner," Raoul said, looking down at the sleeping girl.

"It sounds like I was right about that first meeting," Buri said shrewdly. "She really is your Blue Jay."

"What did you just say?" Numair said.

"What?" Buri said.

"Blue Jay. There's a prophecy about a Blue Jay," Numair said.

"Where did I read that?" he mumbled to himself, tugging his lip and leaving the room distractedly.

Raoul looked worriedly at the door. "Does that mean that Jai is involved in the prophecy some time?"

"I find it unlikely that Buri coming up with the name Blue Jay is enough to connect Jai to a prophecy about Tortall's fate," Gary said wryly.

"Her mother always called her Blue Jay," Raoul said. "Is that enough of a connection?"

Gary raised an eyebrow. "You never know. I guess we'll have to see what Numair digs up. I suggest we all try and get some sleep now."

Raoul nodded, picking up Jai gently, careful to avoid her bruises, as the rest filed out. He tucked her under the covers and climbed in next to her, bur found himself unable to sleep despite the comfort of Jai's presence. He watched her sleep, praying to every god and goddess he could think of in hopes that they would keep her safe.

-----

So, there's been a little confusion about Jai's name I think. Her name is Jaid (pronounced Jade). Her mother always called her Blue Jay, and so she her friends and loved ones have always called her Jai (pronounced Jay). I figured Jai's father as I imagined him would do something like name his daughter after a precious stone, and that her mother would have her own name for her....

As to why Jai's husband hits her in the face---why would he care if people knew what he did? and he's a healer, so sometimes he heals them enough so they show less, or only someone really close to her can see. The one on her jaw is the only bruise in the story that he expected people to notice since Jai was suppose to go straight to genlith after her black eye.

Now, please review. Please. Please. Please.


	16. Chapter 16

When Jai woke the next morning, Raoul was looking at her sadly, a tired and worried expression on his face.

"Hello," she said, smiling up at him. "Did you sleep at all after they left?"

Raoul shook his head, reaching out to touch her cheek.

"I will be fine, Raoul. I promise," she said, snuggling in and wrapping her arms around him. "This is my chance to truly be free for the first time in my entire life. I won't mess it up. I'm ready."

"Please be careful. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

"I will be careful, but I want you to promise me something. If something happens to me, will you make sure my fief is well cared for? Make sure it passes to someone who will take as good care of its people as I do? You would be my first choice in all honesty, or possibly your squire considering what my family has put her through, but I suspect the King will insist it goes to a relative, in which case it has to be Maura. She's the only one of my family who I can trust to take care of my people."

Raoul nodded, trying to find the words. Finally, he just said, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Jai said looking him straight in the eyes for a long moment before pressing her lips softly against his. He responded gratefully, his kisses as soft as hers. He placed himself on top of her, and they both moved their hand over each other agonizingly slowly, each trying to memorize the other's form. They made love gently and languidly, trying to draw out every moment, both terrified it could be their last together. Finally, they both gave in, letting the pleasure pulse through them. After they were done, Jai got out of bed and slowly dressed herself, feeling the emptiness already begin to fill her now that she was leaving him. She moved to take off the pregnancy charm that she always wore when they were together and left with him for safe keeping, when she paused.

"Do you think Alanna could put a charm on this so Barner couldn't see it?" she asked. "I knew I had to have children with him before, and I wanted children even if they had to be his, but now…maybe," Jai blushed, suddenly conscious of all of the things they'd never talked about.

Raoul smiled. "I'll take it to her while you get ready and have one of the pages bring it to you once she puts a charm on it. And Jai," Raoul said pulling her to him. "When this is all over, we will see our children. Yours and mine. I promise."

Jai began to cry and laugh at the same time, overwhelmed by the future she dared to imagine for the first time in her life. "Goddess please help us to see our children grow," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and imagining the sensation of his child growing inside her. "Please. Goddess. Please."

Finally, she drew away and handed Raoul the charm. She kissed him one last time, her lips lingering on his, then walked out of his rooms to her own.

Once he'd dressed, Raoul quickly walked to Alanna's rooms. He was about to knock on the door when he heard Gary shout, "What do you mean you knew?! You knew and you didn't tell us! How did you know?"

Raoul heard mumbling and then Gary yelled again, "She was under the desk?! Under the desk?! Are you serious?!"

Deciding this had gone on long enough, Raoul opened the door without bother to knock.

"Do you have something to say to me, Gary?" Raoul asked.

While Gary sputtered, Raoul handed Alanna Jai's pregnancy charm. "Can you put a spell on this so that Barner won't see it? He's a decently powerful mage, and I don't even want to think about what would happen if he realized she was wearing it."

"Sure. Give it to me," Alanna said, taking the charm and walking to the next room where she could concentrate, leaving Gary, George, Jon and Raoul alone in the front room together.

"How can you not have told me about this?" Gary finally shouted.

Raoul sighed. "It's complicated. I didn't know what to say. She's young and betrothed, well married now, and telling anyone was dangerous. If her family found out, I don't even want to think about what would have happened."

"How did this happen? It can't be as simple as her demanding a kiss," Jon said.

"Well, apparently it started before I thought it did. We met when she was 13. Joren, Vinson and Barner were trying to drown her puppy and I stopped them. I didn't actually realize that was the same girl I met at the ball when you made me sit with her. Anyways, we were talking battle strategies, and I offered to lend her one of my books. She would come by and get books, and we'd talk then and sometimes at balls. Then, we stayed at her house and I caught her drinking with some of the King's Own and Riders and playing strip poker. I took her back to her room, she demanded a kiss, I panicked and I kissed her, and I just was never able to stop after that. I fell for her totally, and then she got married, and nothing happened for awhile and then, last night, something happened."

"So, George and Alanna are telling the truth? You love her?" Gary said. "After all these years, this girl manages to do what plenty of girls have tried before? What makes her so special?"

Raoul shrugged. "She just is. She's so alive, despite her family's attempts to constrain her. She's smart and funny and easy to talk to. And she's so much more, I can't really even begin to explain it."

"The fact that she's stunningly beautiful has nothing to do with it?" Gary said wryly.

Raoul laughed. "I'm not going to say that's not a good thing. She knows it too and makes it damn near impossible to say no to her when she really sets her mind on something, which is really how I got in this mess."

"Do you regret it?" Jon asked, curiously.

"Not even a little. Has Numair found anything about this prophecy?"

Jon shook his head. "He's going to drive himself mad. Since Daine's up North, no one can stop him from staying up all night reading every book on prophecies we have. He still hasn't found it, but he insists he remembers that there is a prophecy about Tortall involving a Blue Jay."

Alanna walked back with the charm. Slipping it over her head, she said, "Jon, can you use your magic to see this? Barner is a little less powerful then you I believe."

Jon prodded her with his magic for a moment, then said, "No, she should be safe with that."

Alanna wrapped the charm up so no one would know what it was before handing it back to Raoul. Raoul left the room and headed towards Jai's room. Deciding he could risk being seen knocking on her door at this time, he walked over to her suite quickly. When he knocked, no one answered. Worried, he opened the door to find chaos before him. Chairs were knocked over, trunks upended their contents scattered, and shattered glass was everywhere. A man dressed in black was either unconscious or dead in the middle of the room, a candlestick with blood on it next to him. Turning to the door Raoul shouted for the guards, telling them to look for Lady Jai and to send for the King immediately. He was about to move towards the man when he heard a pounding noise coming from Jai's bedroom. He opened the door, but saw nothing. Then he heard the noise again, this time from a large bureau. He opened the doors and saw Nana tied up inside, a large bump on her forehead. He untied her quickly and asked, "What happened?"

"Lord Barner came back right after he left, saying he'd left some papers. When he realized my lady was gone, and that I had let her go, he tied me up before I could tell anyone. He kept demanding to know what I knew and what she knew and where she was. I said I didn't know anything. Finally, I told him she was with you. I hoped he would go confront you. I knew you would keep my lady safe, but for some reason he panicked when I said that. He left me tied up and then came back with those men who put me in here. I couldn't see what happened, but I heard my lady come home and the she started shouting and I heard things falling over and being thrown and glass breaking and then it was quiet."

"Why didn't anyone hear the shouting? Isn't he worried the servants will come and notice something happened?"

Nana shook her head. "All the rest of the family's servants left earlier. He sent them ahead. I was supposed to stay with my lady until she left. If you hadn't come no one would have found me. No one heard my lady shout because he has a spell on these rooms so no one can hear what he does to her."

"How bad is it?"

"Worse then you think, my lord. I don't even want to think what he is doing to her now. He's a healer. He heals the worst of it once he's done, so she won't scar and so others won't know."

"Will you be alright? Can I leave you here?" he asked, trying to block his imagination from picturing what could have happened.

"Yes, please find my lady soon."

Raoul got up and strode back into the front room just as George, Jon, Gary and Alanna walked in.

"Barner came back last night, found Jai gone and panicked. He brought some men in who nabbed her it looks like. Her maid's in the next room. Is he dead?" The question was directed at Alanna who was bent over the man. When she shook her head, he said, "Let me know if you get anything out of him. Where they're going especially."

"Where are you going?" Jon asked.

"To tell Third Company to get ready to ride out. If we can catch them before they get Jai to Barner, it will be difficult for them to claim they are putting a Conte on the throne when they rebel."

"Go get ready, but wait until you get word from us before you ride out," Jon said. "I'll have the available Riders units prepare to go with you as well."

Raoul nodded and walked quickly out of the room. He walked down the barracks and called the men around. "Lady Jaid of Stone Mountain has been kidnapped. Her husband and the rest of her family plan to rebel and use her relation to the King as an excuse to put her and her husband on the throne. We are riding out as soon as possible to try and stop them. Get ready quickly and be prepared for full out war. They've been amassing mercenaries over the past months."

Most of the men paled noticeably, unused to this type of threat, but they quickly moved to follow Raoul's orders. Raoul went back to his room and got his things together, including the maps that Jai had drawn on. As he buckled on his sword, his ever present anger over Jai's treatment turned into cold hard certainty that he would kill Barner if it was the last thing he did.

-----

Review!!  
Mandi--I've been meaning to go back through and add a list of favorite stories. I'll probably do it over thanksgiving break. Thanks for the reviews! Hope you like this chapter too!


	17. Chapter 17

Raoul and the rest of Third Company stood restlessly, waiting for word on the information George had managed to extract from Jai's attacker before leaving. All of Third Company noticed the unusual level of tension Raoul was showing. Even in the worst situations, Raoul usually talked to the men, often managing to laugh and joke with them. But as they waited for orders, Raoul didn't speak to anyone, instead he just stared out into the distance, clenching and unclenching his hands.

At last Jon came out of the castle, walking quickly towards him. He shook his head. "Alanna got him somewhat conscious, but he's completely disoriented. You're girl throws a nasty candlestick," Jon said, giving Raoul a tight smile.

"I'm going to ride for Genlith," Raoul said. "I'll have the Rider groups spread out through the forests, and Third Company will take the main road and ride hard. Maybe if we can't find them, we can beat them there."

Jon nodded. "If you can't get them before Genlith, try to lay low. If anyone asks, you're after spidrens that a seer said was going to attack in the area soon. I'm going to contact the lords I trust and have them assemble forces under Alanna to come meet you in the forest Jai suggested we gather troops in. If she's right, we should be able to hide a fairly large amount of men there without discovery. If we go to war on this, the element of surprise is going to be key. Good luck," Jon paused, looking at his old friend. "I'm sorry, Raoul. I hope you find her."

Raoul nodded and mounted Drum, signaling to his men and the Riders to do the same. Third Company rode quickly down the main roads, while the Riders quickly off to try and pick up a trail in the forests. They rode hard all day, pushing their horses to their limits, but found no sign of the Jai or the men. As the day gave way to night, Buri rode out from the forest and approached Raoul.

"The horses can't take this anymore, Raoul. We have to set up camp for the night. I'm sorry," she said quietly, making sure no one could hear her.

Raoul tightened his jaw, but nodded slowing Drum and signaling to the men. Once they had set up camp, Raoul motiond to Buri, and they moved away from the men to talk. "We aren't going to catch them before Genlith. They had a good head start, far fewer men and they knew where they were going," he said, trying to keep emotion out of his voice.

Buri sighed. "I know. We're at the forests that border Jai's fief now. We can move west through the trees tomorrow towards Genlith and try and set up men at a few of those choke points she pointed out for us."

"I'm going to take Derrek and go talk to a farmer that Jai said would be able to prepare her people for a fight."

"Are they really going to be much help?"

Raoul nodded. "Jai's mother had all of the commoners trained to defend the fief, and Jai continued her policy. Apparently, they had problems with bandits and they believe that people who work the land have more of a reason to defend it them men who are paid to do so."

Buri smiled. "She really is something, isn't she?"

Raoul tried a smile back. "Yes, she is."

"Don't worry, Raoul. She's a fighter. Women like that always manage to find a way in the end."

"Thank you," Raoul said before moving to eat a quick dinner and then climbing into his bedroll. When he fell asleep, he dreamed more vividly then he ever had before. He and Jai were back in his bed, and he held her close to him, kissing her gently.

"I wish I could stay here," she said, a flicker of the candlelight giving the brief illusion that her body was covered in bruises and blood dripped down her thigh, but then her skin was unblemished once again.

Raoul stroked her thigh softly, tracing where he thought he'd saw the blood trickle. "Soon," he said, kissing her neck. "Soon you will never have to leave here unless you want to."

"Promise?" Jai asked, looking him in the eye, bruises covering her face and then disappearing once again.

"I promise. All you have to do is hang on until I can get to you. Then it will all be over. Just promise me you'll keep hanging on."

"I promise," she said, settling her head on his chest, her finger tracing the muscles in his arm. "I convinced Barner I was just having an affair with you and that I didn't know anything about the rebellion. He thinks I still don't know. He's angry, but I may still be able to get information when I re-gain consciousness. I sent a man to tell you we were in Genlith and that if I had information it would come through him and you could send information to me through him. His name is Sanders. He's going to bypass George's man and go straight to you in the forest since I wasn't sure if George would have time to set things up."

"Be careful, Jai. You've given us plenty information as it is. You just need to concentrate on keeping yourself safe. I'm going to go with Derrek to see Kalin about arming your fief tomorrow."

Jai kissed his chest and turned over on her side. "We should go to sleep now. We'll need our strength."

Raoul nodded and spooned her gently, closing his eyes in his dream. When he awoke the next morning, the scent of lavender still filled his nose. He looked around in confusion, half expecting Jai to be lying next to him. Shaking his head, he got out of bed and dressed quickly, telling himself it was just a dream. He walked out of his tent and towards the food, greeting his men as he went. As he took a bite of bread, Dom and Kel walked over, each holding one arm of a nervous looking commoner.

"We found this man lurking around our camp," Dom said. "He is insisting that he can only speak to you. All he'll say to us is that his name is Sanders."

---

Hm, vaguely awkward chapter break, but the next place I thought would work to break would have made this chapter pretty long, and it would have taken me awhile to get it up. I'm really glad I stuck with this story--thanks to everyone who reviewed and told me to keep going, you were definitely right. Please keep reviewing. It makes me feel like I have to update, which gives me an excuse to avoid homework..........


	18. Chapter 18

Warning: High T, some explicit sex and implied violence.

-----

"What? Did you say your name is Sanders?" Raoul asked, his face suddenly ashen under his tan.

"Yes, my lord," the man said, looking down at the ground.

"I'll speak to him," Raoul said distractedly, waving Kel and Dom away and ignoring the confused looks they gave him. He pulled Sanders aside and said, "You're here to tell me that Jai and Barner are in Genlith and to take any messages I have back. Correct?"

Looking baffled, Sanders nodded.

Raoul pursued his lips and thought for a moment, then said, "Tell Lady Jaid that I am going to see Kalin as we discussed last night."

When Sanders looked at him in confusion, Raoul said, "Just tell her. She'll know what I mean. Also, tell her that we plan will have reinforcements in four days, at which point we will consider going in. That's all."

As Sanders walked away, Raoul tried to reason out how he and Jai could possibly be exchanging information in dreams. Maybe she had mentioned Sanders name before, but he couldn't think of when. And he had already guessed they were in Genlith. Maybe it was all coincidence. But the dream had felt so vivid, could it have been real? How could that happen? Neither of them were Gifted. It can't have been real. Deciding that he'd have to wait and ask Numair later, he beckoned Derrek over.

"Get ready to ride out in a few minutes," he instructed the younger man. "We are going to go see Kalin about getting Lady Jaid's fief armed."

Derrek nodded and went to go saddle his horse. As Raoul went to go saddle-up Drum, he found Kel had already done it and smiled. "Thank you, Kel. I think you should stay here today. The fewer people going to see the farmer, the less suspicious it looks. Take your orders from Flyn until I come back."

Kel nodded, and Raoul mounted Drum. He and Derrek rode off quickly, neither breaking the silence as they trotted through the forest. At last the forest broke and once again the neatly ordered farms lay before him. He could see Jai's work in every aspect of the neat rows, healthy livestock and the pack of laughing children running along the road. For a moment, he thought he saw a little girl with Jai's eyes running towards him, her black curls springing free from the binding that struggled to hold them out of her face. He blinked, and she was gone.

Deciding he was officially going crazy, he followed Derrek towards one of the larger houses. When they got close to the house, they both dismounted and bound their horses to a post. A woman about Raoul's age came out, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Derrek, is that you? What trouble have you done got yourself in now?" she called.

Derrek smiled. "Hello Mistress Kalin. This is Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak. Sir, this is Mistress Kailin. We're here to talk to your husband."

"Come in. Come in," she said, bobbing a curtsey to Raoul. "He'll be in soon to take his midday meal. Sit down, and I'll fix you some food."

"Thank you," Raoul said, stooping down slightly as he walked through the doorway. Following Derrek's lead, he sat down at the table and soon found a bowlful of stew and a hunk of bread placed in front of him.

"Derrek, have you been growin' again?" the woman said. "I remember when you were a little scamp of a boy. Always making trouble. You'd follow around lady and my boy and get messed up in their trouble. Thick as thieves those two, and they liked you too. I remember lady saying you had spunk. I remember when you were but what, four years? And my boy and lady were eight. You three set up some sort of elaborate trick that ended with the lord getting a bucket of pig's muck on his head. I thought he was gonna kill you two, but lady refused to tell who was in on it with her. That was always the way with you three. Making trouble. She was always the one that took the hurt for it in the end though. And now she's married to that good for nothing lord. Don't seem like he treats her no better than that worthless father of hers. Don't know what's wrong with those nobles, can't see the real gold in front of 'em for all the sparkles blindin' 'em. Not meaning any disrespect, my lord."

"Don't worry. I agree. Her husband and her father are both worthless and stupid."

Mistress Kalin beamed and immediately added another spoonful of stew into his bowl.

"I remember lady saying you were a good sort," she said.

Her husband walked in shortly thereafter, and she immediately said, "Take those boots off. Can't you see I just cleaned the floor. We got visitors. Derrek and Lord Raoul. They wanted to talk to you."

Kalin sat down at the table and looked Raoul over. "What can I do for you, my lord?" he finally asked.

"I'll get straight to the point. Jai's husband is heading a rebellion, most of the lords around here are probably in on it, including Stone Mountain. He plans to put himself and her on the throne. We were able to find out, and Jai gave us some help. She said you could help round up the members of the fief to help us out. We are in the forest, getting troops together and trying to keep the rebels from knowing what he knows."

"Is lady okay?"

Raoul gritted his teeth, then said, "We're not sure. Her husband realized something was amiss, nabbed her and took off. He needs her alive since she's the connection to the Conte line, but who knows what he's doing to her in the meantime."

"I can talk to the older men. We'll get everyone rounded up, but my son is who you should talk to. He leads the fighters. Come with me," he said, standing up and walking out the door. He walked quickly to behind the small barn where a fenced ring was set up. A tall man stood shirtless in the center, holding a rope that looped around a young bucking stallion's neck. "Sameth! We got visitors."

The man tied the rope to a post and hopped over the fence easily, grabbing his shirt that hung on the fence. He wiped his face and walked over, the sweat gleaming on his tan and muscled body. He threw the shirt aside, revealing a handsome face with large green eyes and a well-defined jaw. His dirty blond hair flopped into his face.

"Sameth, this is Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak. This is my boy, Sameth."

The young man narrowed his eyes and looked Raoul over before nodding to him curtly.

His father filled him in quickly on the rebellion plans. When he reached the part about Jai getting kidnapped he interrupted.

"Is Jaybird, okay?" he asked, his voice panicked.

"We don't know," Raoul said, jealousy flaring up inside him at the familiarity behind the younger man's words.

"Well, we have to go get her now. I'll get the men together and—"

"We will do no such thing," Raoul said firmly, cutting the younger man off. "We are going to need a lot more men to set siege to Genlith castle, especially since we'll need to worry about attackers coming from other fiefs in the area."

"But he could be hurting her," Sameth snapped

"He is. I would bet my life on it. Just like he has been their whole marriage, but rushing in blindly to get massacred is not going to help her," Raoul replied, his tone even.

"She's my best friend. I'm not going to sit by and let her get beaten."

"You've been sitting by for the last twenty years or so. It's no different now then it has always been," Raoul said, folding his arms across his chest. "Now are you going to actually be helpful or are you going to continue to waste my time with your manly ranting and raving."

Sameth opened his mouth to deliver another hot remark, but stopped when he saw the look on his father's face. He sighed and nodded, running his hand through his hair.

"I apologize, my lord," he said. "I care about her a lot. She's very important to me. We have about sixty good archers and forty good fighters who can be armed on the horses. That of course leaves some who are somewhat capable of defending the fief. Jai has a policy about never leaving the fief unguarded."

"We shouldn't anyways. We'll probably fall back to this fief if we get into trouble. Leave fifteen of the archers here to protect the walls. We're camped out close to Genlith, just south of the where the river bends sharp north. Have the rest of your fighters go into the forest to meet us, but only a few at a time. We won't move for a few days, so there's time and we don't want to draw any suspicion," Raoul said.

Sameth nodded, and the four men walked back to the horses. They were about to mount up when Mistress Kalin came out and said, "Derrek come take some food here. I know you love my biscuits, and I got a set for you."

Derrek and Kalin walked back to the house together, leaving Sameth and Raoul alone together.

"I still think we should go in after her," Sameth said resentfully.

"So noted," Raoul said. "If you actually want to help her, you'll wait. Suicidal missions help no one."

"I know," Sameth said quietly, looking at his hands. "I hate doing nothing. She's—She's special."

"I know," Raoul said. "I suspect you know that I know."

Sameth clenched his jaw, but nodded. "I remember when she first met you. She was thirteen, and she declared that you were perfect. When she said that, I realized exactly how much she meant to me. How much she means to me."

He looked up and looked Raoul in the eye. "If you get her at the end of this, which I'm not saying you will, since I'm not going to just sit back on this. But if you do, and you hurt her, I'll kill you, noble or no."

Raoul raised an eyebrow. "You'll never have to, but I appreciate the candor. I'll see you soon. Good luck."

Raoul mounted Drum as Derrek walked out, holding biscuits wrapped in a cloth. The two rode back to the camp not long before supper. The men were restless, not liking the wait they had in front of them, so Raoul spent most of the evening chatting with them, trying to ease the tension.

At last it was time to climb into bed, and he fell asleep quickly. Once again, he found himself in bed with Jai. This time she lay with her head on his chest, and he stroked her hair softly.

"What is going on?" Jai asked softly. "These dreams are real? Sanders delieved your message."

"I don't know," Raoul said. "I'll ask Numair when he gets here."

"Well, I'm glad for whatever it is. If I can look forward to this, maybe I can get through this."

"You better," Raoul said, kissing the top of her head. "You can't leave me alone. I've forgotten how I organized my reports and did my budget before you."

Jai chuckled and kissed his chest. "How did meeting with Kalin go?"

"Well, eventually. His son Sameth wanted to ride in and save you, but I convinced him getting killed wouldn't help you much."

"Well, we're close. We have been since we were kids," Jai smiled. "We got into such horrible scrapes. We decided it would be hilarious to let Vinson catch us kissing once. Gods, that was a horrible idea. I couldn't walk for a week, and Sameth spent the three weeks in his parents cellar hiding. That's actually what made Vinson decide to try and drown my puppy. That was my punishment."

"You kissed Sameth?"

Jai looked up at him and grinned. "Yes. Why? Are you jealous?"

Raoul scowled. "No," he said, his voice bordering on sulky.

Jai laughed outright. "Don't worry. Sameth is a little young for my taste. I like my men with a little gray in their hair."

Raoul scowled again and flipped her over, pinning her arms up. "You're going to pay for that," he said.

"What exactly is my punishment?"

Raoul held both her wrists easily with one hand, using the other to caress her thighs while he kissed her breasts. He teased her with his hands and tongue, making her moan and arch her back. He slid his knee between her legs and kissed her neck, feather like touches all over causing her to shiver with pleasure. When she was panting with desire, he let her go and rolled off of her, laying down next to her. She climbed on top of him immediately, straddling him and moving to remove his remaining clothing. He grabbed her wrists again, halting the urgent movement of her hands as she moved her hips and rubbed against him.

"No, no. I'm a tired old man. I don't have the energy to pleasure you tonight," he said, grinning up at her.

Jai pouted and slid down off him, lying down next to him on the bed.

"You're so mean," she said. "You know—"

She gasped suddenly in pain.

"Jai, what's wrong?" Raoul said in panic, reaching over to touch her face and pulling back as he saw the purple bruises that covered her face and the rest of her body. She whimpered and turned her head as blood came seeping out from between her legs. She was gone for a moment from the bed, then returned once again.

"Raoul," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm here, Jai," he whispered back, sitting up and holding her hands.

"It hurts. He's so angry. Says he'll break me. He knocked me unconscious, and it still hurts. The things he does," she whispered brokenly. "It hurts so bad, it's waking me up. I don't want to wake up yet. I want to stay here with you."

"So, stay with me. Concentrate on me," Raoul said, mentally working through what exactly was happening and trying to stay calm. "Look at me and think about something fun we did. Remember that day the huge tree fell in the road, and the Progress got stopped while they cleared it, and we snuck off together into the woods and we found that field of wildflowers. Do you remember?"

"Yes," Jai said softly, the blood ceasing to flow from her and a few of the bruises disappearing.

"Tell me what happened," Raoul said, gently pulling her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her.

"There were butterflies everywhere," she said, speaking into his chest. "It was beautiful, and I got one to land on my finger. It was blue. Then it flew away, and I said you should catch me if you could and ran off. I ran through the flowers and you nabbed me around the waist pretty quick and had me on the ground in moments. You kissed me and hiked up my skirts, and we made love, and you flipped me over so I was on top of you. You said that way I could take my pleasure myself. You let me take control over both of our pleasure; let me give pleasure to you as well as take it for myself. I've never felt so powerful in my life as I did at that moment."

Jai looked up at him, her face free from all bruises, and smiled. "But you knew that didn't you? That's why you made me tell you that story."

Raoul smiled back at her. "I just wanted to remind you how much power you have. Control what you can, let go what you can't. That's what being a knight is all about, and you would have made a great one. He controls your body for now, but not your mind. Just hold on to the good memories and to the future. It won't be much longer."

Jai nodded and closed her eyes. "I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you, too," he murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

Slowly, her breathing became heavy and rhythmic and she fell asleep. Not long after, Raoul fell asleep too, still leaning against the backboard, holding Jai in his lap.

------

Review please!


	19. Chapter 19

Raoul woke up slowly, Jai's hair rubbing against his chin and her body warming his chest. He felt fabric against his back and slowly opened his eyes, moving his arms to hold her tighter against him, only to find he was leaning against the wall of his tent and Jai wasn't there. Raoul sighed and put his head in his hands, remembering his dreams. As he thought about Jai's bruises and what Barner must have been doing to her to cause her to bleed like that, his stomach rebelled, and he got up and hurried out of the tent, only just making it outside before he emptied the contents of his stomach all over the ground.

"Are you sick, Goldenlake?" a gruff voice asked from behind him.

Turning, Raoul saw Lord Wyldon of Cavall and managed a small smile when Wyldon handed him a cup of water. As soon as he'd rinsed his mouth, he said, "No, something just wasn't sitting right. When did you get in?"

"Around midnight last night. I've got about half of our reinforcements, along with Numair. The Lioness is bringing the rest in two days."

"Then we attack. We'll lay siege to Genlith. Ja—Lady Jaid managed to get confirmation to us that she and Barner are there. I want to leave some men protecting a path back to Lady Jaid's fief if we fall under too much counter-attack, we can hole up there," Raoul said.

Wyldon pursued his lips. "Are her walls strong enough?"

Raoul nodded. "She's got a double wall, a line of sharpened logs around both walls to make getting ladders up the walls difficult and all of her people are trained to defend themselves. We'll have their best fighters with us, but everyone else can still lend a hand if we get under siege there. Her father is unaware of the changes she made to the fief, so I doubt they'll know how safe we'll be there."

Wylodn raised his eyebrows. "I should have known she'd do that. She stayed with us one summer after her first year at the convent. She and my eldest were very close back then, and they're still friends. Smart as a whip she is. I remember she asked me why I had the logs in front of the walls. She was always asking everyone questions, and chattering away. She could talk to anyone, and get anyone to talk to her. Charming she was. She charmed my man-at-arms so much that he taught her to use a bow and arrow. Her father was so angry when he found out." Wyldon sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I agree. Your plan's the best one. Gods willing, we won't have to fall back."

"So mote it be," Raoul said. "I'm going to get some food. Care to join me?"

Once he'd eaten, Raoul went in search of Numair. He paused when he saw Kel talking to a tall boy of about fourteen. He looked familiar, but Raoul wasn't sure why. The sword on his hip and the quality of his clothing suggested he wasn't one of the commoners from Jai's fief. Raoul mentally went through the new squires, trying to remember if he'd seen a tall page with curly black hair in the past few years. As he tried to remember where he'd seen him, Dom walked over and put his hand on the small of Kel's back and Kel leaned back into him. Frowning at the inappropriateness of the gesture, Raoul walked over towards them when he heard a shriek and a boy and a girl around eight or nine ran past him. The older boy turned and smiled. Kneeling, he let the two children jump on him. He picked the girl up and placed her on his shoulders while the boy clung to his leg. He ruffled the younger boy's white blond curls, then looked straight at Raoul. Raoul gasped; he was looking at himself thirty years ago.

"Sir. Sir," Lerant said urgently behind him.

"What?" Raoul said dazedly, looking at Lerant.

"Sir, are you alright? I've been calling you for awhile," Lerant said.

Raoul looked back to where the three children had stood, only to see Dom and Kel chatting alone, standing a few feet apart.

"Yes, I'm fine," Raoul said, trying to focus. "I was just thinking. What do you need?"

"Flyn wants to know if you want Lady Jaid's archers tested."

"That's a good idea. Have him set that up. I'm going to go talk to Numair," said Raoul. "Have you seen him?"

"He was walking the edge of the camp warding it from sight last time I saw him.  
Lerant answered.

"Thank you," Raoul said, walking away. He found Numair lying evenly spaced rocks along the edge of the camp.

"Numair, can I talk to you?" Raoul asked.

Numair paused and smiled. "Of course."

Raoul sighed. "This is going to sound crazy. I don't even know where to begin."

"The beginning is probably best."

"The beginning. Well, the first night after Jai got abducted I had a dream that Jai and I were back in my bedroom. It was so realistic and she told me she'd sent a man named Sanders to talk to me. He showed up the next day. Last night I had another dream, just as realistic. We talked about the message I'd sent back. Can these dreams be real?"

Numair frowned. "Any more details you can give me? When you say realistic, what do you mean?"

Raoul shifted his weight uncomfortably. "When I wake up I can still feel her in my arms and smell her, and we fall asleep in the dream. It's like I have to fall asleep twice. Also, last night she was getting tugged out of the dream."

"What do you mean?"

"She—she was in pain. The first night sometimes there'd be a flicker and I'd see bruises on her and they'd disappear. Last night, the bruises came and stayed. She was bleeding from—" Raoul paused, his mind flashing back to the night before. "She was just bleeding and she kept saying, I don't want to go; he knocked me unconscious and it still hurts when he does this. Then she disappeared for an instant then was back. I got her to focus on me, think of a good memory, and the bruises disappeared."

Numair nodded, processing the information. "Anything else?"

"I—no, nothing," Raoul said.

"What?" Numair said. "Anything you tell me will help me figure out what's happening."

"I'm seeing things," Raoul finally said. "Well, children actually. At Jai's fief, I saw a little girl with black curls and blue eyes running towards me and then she disappeared. Today I saw a boy about thirteen or fourteen talking to Kel, he looked just like me, and that same little girl and a blond boy with blue eyes ran past me and threw themselves at him. Lerant called me, and I looked away. When I looked back, they were gone. The two younger one's had Jai's eyes."

"And the older boy looked just like you, and the girl had black curls?" Numair said.

"Yes."

"You're seeing the children that you and Jai could have, aren't you?" Numair said.

Raoul shrugged. "Probably. It's just wistful thinking though, maybe."

Numair shook his head. "I think this has something to do with the prophecy. Prophecies mean that the gods have an interest in what is coming, it's a big event, and they can't control it or know what will happen. They can only lend a helping hand. Sounds like Ganiel has an opinion about what should happen. There are incidents in the past of him letting people meet in their dreams. He could be giving you the waking dreams, but it could also be one of the other gods. It's interesting that the children are the focus. Are the children particularly important to you? Have you always wanted children?"

Raoul shrugged again. "I never really thought I'd have any until Jai. Jai has always wanted to children, and when I think about the future now children are starting to seep into my thoughts, and I realized I wanted to meet those children, but I haven't given it a ton of consideration."

Numair frowned. "See that suggests to me that the children are somehow important in all of this. If only I could find that cursed prophecy, I'd know. In any event, I think you are meeting in your dreams, its only when you fall asleep in those dreams you actually get rest. I suspect Jaid was in pain and that was waking her up. She was getting tugged between her unconscious and conscious state. When bruises appear on her, it means the reality of her pain is seeping into her dream state. When she focuses more on the dream, she loses touch with the reality of her situation and can't feel the pain."

"Can I trust what she says in the dreams? If she gives me information, I mean."

"Probably. I can't promise you, but probably."

Raoul nodded. "Thank you, Numair."

"Of course. Raoul, I'm sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you."

"It is what it is," Raoul said. "The next two days of waiting are what I'm dreading. I'll let you finish warding the camp."

Raoul walked over to where Jai's archers were setting up. He smiled grimly as he saw the accuracy with which they shot. As Raoul went through the motions of his day, he counted down until he could go to sleep, until he could see Jai. At last he got into his bedroll and fell asleep. He opened his eyes, and Jai's legs were tangled with his, her hair spread across his chest.

She looked up at him and smiled, giving him a kiss and then putting her head back on his chest.

"How are you?" Raoul asked her, stroking her hair gently.

"Surviving," Jai said quietly. "Tell me about your day."

------

Come on people, review. Please, please, please.


	20. Chapter 20

Alanna arrived late the next night, with a much larger contingent of troops that Raoul had expected.

"How did you get this many warriors?" Raoul asked.

Alanna grimaced. "More are coming, but that's because everyone knows what's happening and people are aligning on either side. We think at least three more fiefs have thrown their men behind Barner now that word is out. Will you get everyone here to circle up? Then, I'll explain what happened."

Raoul quickly called all the men and women over to the center of the camp. Alanna stood on the back of one of the Own's wagons and said loudly, making sure everyone could hear, "Every fief in Tortall, the castle, the square in Corus and our other major cities and each King and Queen ruling a country near Tortall got this message yesterday evening."

Alanna threw a black opal on the ground in front of her and magic streamed out of it. Jai and Barner stood before the group. Jai's visible bruises were gone. She wore a gold dress and a red cape bordered with fur. She was covered in jewels, and a crown stood on her head. Barner was dressed equally regally, and he said, "People of Tortall and your majesties from neighboring companies, it has become clear over the past years that King Jonathan and Queen Thayet are determined to destroy the customs and laws that hold this country together. The gods have signaled their disapproval as their gifts, such as the Chamber of the Ordeal, break down and cause the death and injury of good men. They have also aligned to allow the great marriage between myself and my wife to occur. The last of the Rudae line flows through my blood, and the Conte line flows through hers. Together, we have the right to bring Tortall back to its true path. We begin the march to Corus in two days. Send your forces to us and join us as we take our rightful spots as King and Queen of Tortall. I hereby swear to serve Tortall as the Gods wish it to be served."

Jaid then spoke, her eyes cold. "The Gods have spoken. I promise to follow the path they have laid out for me and take my rightful place beside my husband as Queen of Tortall. To all my friend, family and allies, I call on you to come support our efforts to save Tortall from the wrath the current King and Queen will bring down upon us from above."

The message shut off as abruptly as it started, and silence descended over the group.

Alanna interrupted the quiet, her voice strong and firm. "We have the advantage. They do not expect us to be here. Spies who got into Stone Mountain found correspondence indicating that most of Barner's forces are at Genlith. The gates will open to let their forces out tomorrow at dawn. We will be there to attack and take over the castle. More reinforcements will be with us to help in the afternoon. Follow orders, stay calm and fight for Tortall. That's all we need to do."

"We follow the lady's orders," rang a voice from the back. "Lady says she wants her friends with her."

"That wasn't Jai," Maggie snapped back. "Do you really think she'd say that?"

"Mayhap she decided she wants to be queen," another man answered back. "We don't follow the orders of the King or anyone but our lady."

More grumbling could be heard from the commoners, and Raoul quickly walked over to Sameth and grabbing him by the arm, dragging him out from his circle of friends. "You need to get your people under control," he hissed at the younger man. "You know perfectly well she was saying that under duress."

Sameth pulled his arm from Raoul's grasp. "What makes you think you know what she's thinking? Crown never helped us. Jai helped us. Maybe she reached an agreement with her husband, and she'll be able to help more people like us as Queen. Maybe she's not so much you're woman as you think."

Raoul crossed his arms over his chest and stood up to his full height, looming over the other man. "I have put up with your jealousy, childish behavior and lack of respect for the last three days because I thought it was a result of your feelings for Jai. Apparently, I was mistaken, and stupidity and arrogance are the root of the problem here. If you want to help Jai, get you ass over there and tell your people what you know is true. Tell them that she would never say something like that of her own volition."

Sameth put his head down and nodded. Slowly, he walked over to where Alanna stood and climbed up next to her after bowing politely to her. "Friends, we all know that Lady would never ask us to join sides with her family or with the Genliths. Her husband has done nothing but beat her. She would never put our lives in his hands out of free choice. Her original orders were to follow Lord Raoul. We should continue to follow those orders until we get her back."

"Now that we have that cleared up, everyone to bed. We must be up well before dawn in order to circle Genlith castle before those gates open," Raoul said. He stopped Sameth from leaving and said quietly, "We'll want to talk to you about positioning your people tomorrow. Wait a moment."

Alanna, Numair, Buri and Wyldon walked over to join Raoul and Sameth, followed by Flyn and a few other knights.

"The King gave Raoul top command in this," Alanna said when they'd all gathered around. "His decisions are the final ones."

Raoul nodded. "I want the civilian archers from Jai's fief in the trees by every major gate. We'll have them pick off the men as soon as there is a decent sized group out of the gate. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of open field between the forest line and the gates, only about a hundred yards. We'll keep the fighters in the forest as long as possible, and let the archers begin the work, both from the tree line and up above. We want them to pick off as many of them as possible. Once the archers can't keep up with the flow of men out or there is any indication the gate is closing again, we move in hard and fast, forest line archers will switch to pole arms or swords. We'll want to cut a line straight through to the gate. Third Company will do that. The rest of the troops will watch our sides and battle the troops we have cut into two groups from the front. We also need to make sure that any reinforcements aren't coming from behind, and most importantly aren't cutting off our route to Lady Jaid's fief, which is where we will fall back oo if things go wrong. I want two Rider groups moving through the forest, protecting our rear, whichever two you think would work best, Buri. Sameth, I also want you to lead all of your people who aren't archers to do similar work, scout the forest, keep the route clear, lead anyone who is falling back to the fief if we get disorganized in retreat. Fight anyone who comes at us from our rear and alert us immediately."

"You want us to stay behind?" Sameth blurted out angrily. "I want to be in the fight. We all do. Jai has always helped us. We want to return the favor."

Raoul sighed. "You know the forest better than anyone else. That's why this has to be you. We have to utilize that familiarity. I'm betting you know the forest better than any of Barner's men's. That's an asset. I intend to use it."

Sameth opened his mouth to protest again, but then closed it. He cocked his head and looked at Raoul thoughtfully, then nodded his agreement.

"Anything else we need to consider?" Raoul said.

Numair spoke up. "We need to be careful of Barner's magic. He's already using magic stronger then he should be, and he may lose control, which will be bad for him, but still could be disastrous to us. Powerful mages losing control tend to take down the people, and sometimes even the buildings, around them"

"Do you mean the image?" Alanna asked curiously. "That is difficult magic, but he is almost as powerful as a black robe mage and well-trained. It isn't unexpected that he could do it, especially since it looks like he used planted opals to send them."

Numair shook his head and looked at Raoul briefly before saying, "He's using a focus on Lady Jaid. I'm almost certain of it. The flatness in her voice and expression is unusual, correct?"

Sameth, Wyldon and Raoul all nodded their agreement, and Numair said, "They're all signs of a focus. Focues have dangerous effects on the person they're used on, especially if the mage isn't trained well enough or powerful enough to be using them. We have to find the focus and destroy it carefully before killing Barner. Killing Barner first, if he is overly connected to Jaid, which in all likelihood he will be, would kill her or leave her mentally broken. In truth, even if we destroy the focus first, a mind as willful as hers being bowed down by a focus usually leaves the person unable to find herself again."

Raoul clenched his jaw and looked away for a moment.

"If it comes down to it, we may have to kill Barner first," Alanna said softly. "Our priority has to be ending this."

Raoul nodded slowly, and said, "We can tell archers and warriors we want Barner alive if possible for further questioning. We do anyways because he's probably the only one who knows of all of his allies. Tell archers to shoot to wound not kill for him and to try and bring him in alive, but your right, ending the rebellion is the priority. Sameth, do not tell your people what you just heard. You know it will endanger them. They'll die rather than kill Barner if you tell them."

Sameth put his head in his hands, but nodded. "I'll have to tell them it's very important because they will want him dead more then they'll care about needing answers from him, but I'll get them to listen without telling them about Jai," he said quietly.

They talked through strategies until the fire had died, then all settled down to get as much sleep as they could. Raoul closed his eyes and opened them, instantly in his bedroom. Jai was standing near the window, looking out. Raoul walked over to put his arms around her, but they passed through her.

"I won't be able to keep my promise," she said flatly, never looking at him.

"What promise?"

"To hang on. I'm going now. He won," she replied, her voice still eerily devoid of emotion.

"You have to, Jai. You have to hang on."

"I use to look out the window and daydream. Now, look what I see."

Raoul focused outside for the first time ever and saw a bloody battlefield. He watched himself, Kel, Sameth and countless others slaughtered by Barner and his men. Jai and Barner then sat on a throne, hovering above the battlefield, littered with bodies, and visions of commoners toiling appeared before them, starving as a pile of gold and jewels grew at Jai and Barner's feet.

"That won't happen, Jai. You have my word," Raoul said.

"Doesn't matter. It's all I can see."

Forcing himself to think logically, Raoul considered what Numair had told him and realized what he could do. "I want you to see what I see," Raoul said, focusing on the images that had been coming to him over the last few days. He touched the window.

"I keep seeing children," he said quietly. "I see a little boy that looks just like you, and a little girl with black curls and blue eyes."

Slowly, foggy images of the younger children took form, standing above the carnage. Jai was looking at the images and cocked her head a little bit, reaching her hand out as the children took form, but then drawing back.

"I think I see our oldest child too. He's a boy, and he looks like me," Raoul said. The boy appeared just as he'd seen him, and Jai gasped a little.

"That's our first child. You think so?" Jai asked, emotion coming into her voice for the first time.

"Yes," said Raoul.

"What's his name?"

"Bramamear." Raoul said instantly and without thinking.

"Bramamear?" Jai asked, incredulously, looking at Raoul for the first time.

"It was my grandfather's name," Raoul said defensively. "I was very close to him as a boy."

Jai sighed. "Fine, but I'm going to call him Bubba."

At her words the field cleared completely, until Jai stood there alone, her belly slightly round with child, wearing a simple dress. A boy of about three came running towards her and she leaned down to hug him.

"Bubba," Jai said quietly to herself. Raoul put his hand out tentatively and touched the small of her back. Breathing a sigh of relief when he felt her solidness, he pulled her to him.

"What's our little girl's name?" Raoul asked quietly.

"I want to name her Esmerelda," Jai said.

"And you objected to Bramamear?"

"It was my mother's name. We'll call her Esme for short."

Raoul sighed. "Fine. How many are there?"

"You've seen three, right? I think the blond boy's name is Sammy."

"What makes you say that?"

Jai shrugged, "It seems like it's his name. But three seems reasonable to me. What do you think?"

"Three is good."

"I'm glad we're having some boys, but I want at least one girl."

"Three children at my age. Well, it's a good thing you have lots of energy," Raoul said, kissing Jai's neck.

Jai laughed and turned, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips. "Thank you," she said. "He healed a lot of the physical pain for that message, but the focus." Jai shivered. "It's the worst feeling I've ever felt. It was like I could only see the future as it was in his mind. His mind is taking over mine."

Raoul picked her up and carried her back to the bed. "Just keep holding on. We're going in tomorrow. Just remember who you are and what you have to look forward to."

"You, and Bubba, and Sammy, and Esme. I'll remember. Now sleep. If you're going to come save me, you'll need you're rest," Jai said, turning on her side.

Raoul wrapped himself around her, holding her close and falling quickly into a deep sleep.

----

Is this getting too weird? Oh well, I like it. Now REVIEW and tell me what you think!


	21. Chapter 21

When Raoul woke up, he was still in his bedroom. Jai stood at the window, looking out.

"I can't see them. I tried all night after you fell asleep," she said. "But I can't see anything but blood."

"RAOUL!" Alanna's voice wrenched him back to his tent.

"Gods curse it!" Raoul yelled, sitting up sharply and nearly smacking his old friend.

"What is wrong with you?" Alanna hollered. "We need to move now."

"Fine," Raoul snapped, throwing back the covers and pulling clothes on quickly.

"Raoul, look at me," Alanna said, her eyes cold. "I need to know you can stay detached. Can you stay detached?"

"I'll be fine," Raoul responded, his voice as flat as Jai's had sounded just moments before. "I'll do what needs to be done for Tortall. I always put Tortall first. I'm not about to stop now."

He walked out of his tent, letting his eyes adjust to the dim pre-dawn light. He ate hurriedly, then put on his armor with Kel's help. Quickly and quietly, the camp was dismantled, and the men and women mounted their horses. Raoul hand signaled the warriors, and they moved out. They reached the tree-line quickly, and the archers climbed up. The warriors settled down to wait, staying back in the forest out of sight, waiting for signal from the archers that the gates were open.

Drum shuffled his feet, reflecting Raoul's tension. Raoul leaned down and stroked his mane. "Hush, boy," he whispered in his horse's ear. "It will all be over soon."

Raoul glanced over at Kel, reading the tension even beneath the emotionless mask she wore. He smiled at her, "Just relax, Kel. You're a good fighter, and you've been trained well. Rely on your reflexes, and listen for orders. That's all you need to do."

"Thank you, sir," Kel said.

"Don't worry, Kel," Dom said, riding up next to them. "It can't be worse then housework, right?"

Kel grinned at him, and Raoul considered what he'd seen the day before, wondering if the touch between Kel and Dom also spoke of a possible future. Raoul sighed, that would be a complicated mess considering the plans he had for both of them. This was the kind of thing Jai was good at; she'd know if he needed to worry about them. She'd come up with the solution when the relationship between Aiden and one of the Rider women went sour.

Raoul was distracted from his thoughts by a bird call, the signal that the gate was raising. He hand-signaled the archers forward. Kel moved to the tree-line with Dom, an arrow edged with griffin feathers already ready in her bow. Another call sounded a few moments later and a line of arrows went out. Raoul kicked Drum forward, passing between the archers with some of the men, looking through his spyglass at what was before him. He could easily see Barner, on his horse in the gateway. At least twenty of his men were already down, the remaining sixty who were out of the gate charged forward. Seeing Barner motion for the gate to go down, Raoul cursed. He'd feared that Barner was the type of man who'd leave a hundred men out to their deaths.

"Move forward," Raoul shouted. "Third Company, get to that gate."

Kel, Dom and the rest of the Own's archers dropped their bows. Kel readied her glaive and moved her horse next to Raoul. Once they were all in position, Raoul led the charge forward, holding his sword with one hand and the reins with the other. A large man with a war axe came at him first. Raoul moved quickly, plunging his sword deep into the gap in his armor between his chest plate and his arm before the man could even bring his axe at Raoul. The men of the Own moved quickly pressing through the mass of men and cutting them down quickly.

As he blocked attacks and cut down the mercenaries before him, he tracked Kel out of the corner of his eye, watching her move easily through the battlefield, her glaive hardly pausing. They broke through to the gate just as it began to come down. Sheathing his sword, Raoul unhooked his lance from its place on his saddle, and kicked Drum forward, jamming his lance deep into the wooden wheels that controlled the gate, stopping their motion before the gate had been lowered more than foot.

He rode quickly into the castle, tossing his lance aside and pulling out his sword once again. Immediately, he searched out Barner. After hacking down a man even taller then he was, Raoul spotted him, just as he entered the castle through a small side door. Most of Third Company was through the gates at this point, and Raoul rode straight for Barner, calling for Dom and Airden's squad to follow him and ordering the rest of the Company clear the way for them. Twenty mercenaries guarded the door, a low overhang preventing the men from riding their horses to them. Raoul dismounted and went straight for their leader, a tall dark-haired man who held a sword in one hand and a war hammer in the other. Raoul ducked a blow from the hammer and parried a blow from the man's sword with his own. Ducking another attack from the hammer, he slid to man's right and smashed his sword deep in the leader's side. Turning, he saw Kel slash the throat of a mercenary right after he slammed a sword into Dom's shoulder. Dom went down, and Kel stood over him protectively, while Wolset finished off the last mercenary.

"Kel," he shouted. "You take command of Dom's company, you're job is to guard this door, understand me? No one gets in. Call for a healer for Dom, and have Flyn told to have the rest of Third Company try and push the men out the gates. None of your squad moves from it. Let the rest of Third Company clear out the people away from you. Aiden's squad, you're with me. Let's move people. He's got too much of a head start as it is."

He opened the door Barner had gone through and found himself in a narrow corridor, he moved quickly, motioning to the others to be quiet. He listened for footsteps, but heard nothing as he walked quietly along the hallway. A door appeared on his right, and he motioned for Aiden to open it as he moved forward.

"Sir," Aiden said softly. "It looks like the door here goes down to the dungeons. He'll probably keep moving. There may be a way out the back further along."

Raoul frowned, remembering one of the conversations he'd had with Jai in his dreams. She'd said he like the dungeons, and he'd kept her there.

"Sir, do you want us to keep moving?" Aiden asked.

Deciding to trust the dreams, he shook his head. "No, he seems like the type to prefer dungeons. Let's see if he's down there."

Aiden frowned, but nodded. He and the rest of the squad following Raoul down the stairs. Raoul paused once the door closed, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Once he could see the stairs, he walked down them, cursing softly as he realized the clinking of their armor would echo loudly down the narrow stairwell no matter what they did.

"Barner," he shouted. "You know were coming for you. Why don't you come out real slow, and maybe you can get out of this still alive."

He listened for a response, half-hoping it would be Jai's voice he heard. The stairwell ended at a corner. Raoul rounded it, and found himself looking down a corridor straight at Barner. He moved forward, only to curse and dive back when Barner threw raw magic his direction. It hit the wall, causing the stonewall to crack ominously.

"You think you can come down here and stop me, Goldenlake?" Barner shouted. "Well, you can't. Even if my whore of a wife told you everything she knew. Don't worry. I made her pay for what she did."

Another bolt of power came down the corridor, shaking the castle and causing a few stones to come loose from the ceiling and crashing down.

"Derrek," Raoul said quietly. "Get out there and get Numair or Alanna down here. We need a mage to deal with him."

Raoul peaked his head around the hallway, taking a chance to check to see if there were anyways out. He saw a door in front of Barner and a door behind him, but then the hallway appeared to end. He pulled back as Barner threw another bolt into the doorway. Raoul covered his head with his arms, blocking the rain of small stones and the one large block that came down.

"I'll bury you, Goldenlake. Bury you," Barner shouted, throwing another bolt. The entire castle seemed to shake this time, a few stones falling down in the stairway and more in the dungeons.

"Sir, we have to get out of here," Aiden whispered. "He's going to bring the castle down around him and us if we're in here."

Raoul tightened his jaw, but nodded. "Get your men out of here. I'm staying down here. I need to make sure Barner doesn't escape."

Aiden grabbed him and pulled him back as a bolt of power ricocheted off the wall and up the stairs. The men covered their head as part of the ceiling collapsed. A large stone landed on Raoul's leg, twisting his knee, making him hiss in pain.

"Are you alright sir?" one of the men asked.

"Fine. Just hit an old, old wound. Everyone else alright?" Raoul asked.

"Damien got hit in the arm. He's bleeding a bit," Aiden replied.

"I'm alright, sir," Damien said.

As the dust settled, Raoul realized that the door had been blocked.

"Move those stones, quickly. We need to get out of here," Raoul said, dodging another falling stone. "Keep an eye on the ceiling and on each other. I don't want to have to replace any of you."

Another blast shook the castle, but it sounded weaker than the others.

"I'll get you," Barner wheezed.

"You're killing yourself, Barner. Even if the magic one kill you, you'll die when the castle goes down."

Barner laughed manically. "The castle won't go down, and I have an escape plan for me and my bride. Do you? You're the one I want."

Barner threw another bolt, sending more stones falling, one striking Aiden on the shoulder.

"Alright, alright," Raoul said. "I'm going to come out. It's me you want. Don't kill my men too."

"Throw your sword out ahead of you," Barner replied.

"Sir, don't do this," Aiden said, breathing heavily. "He's got enough power left to kill you before you get close to him. Besides, he can't really hate you this much just because you took Kel on. He's not going to let us go for you."

"That's not why he hates me," Raoul said grimly, tossing his sword out. "Just get that way cleared, and I'll try and keep him talking so he won't throw anymore bolts."

"I'm coming out Barner, but you have to promise not to throw any more power. You'll bring the castle down," Raoul shouted.

Barner paused, but finally called. "I swear to Mithros. Now come out, Goldenlake."

Raoul stood up slowly, limping as he made his way into the corridor. He held up his hands. "Alright, Barner. Here I am."

Barner chuckled, swaying slightly as he held a strung bow, his face ashen. "Power balls too good for you anyways," he said. "You should die slowly."

Barner pulled an arrow back, aiming for Raoul.

"You're going to kill me without letting me defend myself?" Raoul asked. "Do you have no honor?"

"You deserve it. You know you do. You ask me about my honor, but what about yours. You have none after what you did to my wife."

"What I did to your wife?" Raoul snapped angrily. "What you did to your wife is the most despicable thing I've ever seen in my life. She has shown more honor in a moment then you have in your entire life combined."

"The gods clearly agree with me, since you're about to die," Barner said, releasing one of his arrows.

Raoul moved to the side instantly, thanking the gods Barner was such a lousy shot as it sank into the wall behind him. He calculated the distance between him and Barner as Barner drew another arrow. With his leg injured, he'd never make it to him before Barner loosed an arrow, even if he timed it perfectly. Barner released another arrow, and Roaul ducked. He stumbled slightly, unable to shift his weight onto his injured leg. As Barner pulled back another arrow, Raoul saw the door behind him open, and Jai walked out. She was hunched forward, covered in bruises and blood, wearing only a loincloth and breastband. Her hair hung before her, and she moved forward slowly, leaving a trail of bloody footprints behind her as she walked over the stones. She held a large piece of glass in her hand; it had cut her hand and blood trickled down her wrist.

"You're a coward, Barner," Raoul said, trying to buy her time to get to him. "Did you really think you could win this? Did you think you were worthy of being King?"

"Of course I am. I'm no coward. I saw what the King was doing, and I aimed to fix it. I still can, and I already would have if it weren't for that little bitch," Barner snarled. Before he could release another arrow, Jai plunged the glass deep into his neck. Barner gasped and fell on his back, dropping the bow. Jai leaned over and stabbed him again and again. Raoul limped over to where she was as a few more stones fell from the ceiling.

"Jai, come on we have to go," Raoul said, reaching out to touch her shoulder when she didn't respond. "Jai, stop. He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

"Sir, we got it clear," Aiden shouted, standing in the corridor, eyes wide at the scene before him. "Let's go."

Raoul grabbed Jai's wrist, stopping her from stabbing Barner again. She turned and snarled at him, her eyes crazed. She lashed out at him with her other hand, and Raoul grabbed it.

"Jai," Raoul pleaded. "It's me. It's okay. You're safe now. Remember me? You're going to be fine, Blue Jay."

At the nickname, Jai paused, her face fell and she stopped struggling, tears streaming down her face. Raoul pulled her to him, stroking her hair as she sobbed into his chest. Another stone fell, and Aiden shouted, "Sir, we have to go now. The castle is about to go."

Raoul picked Jai up and limped down the corridor, dodging another stone. "Move, get your squad out of here," he shouted to Aiden.

He hurried up the stairs after Aiden, gritting his teeth against the pain as the hallway behind him collapsed, praying to Mithros that the stairway would hold.

----

We're nearing the end now......just a few more chapters.......If you review, I'll write them faster. I promise.


	22. Chapter 22

Raoul ran up the stairs, ignoring the pain in his leg. Only moments after he got through the door, the dungeon collapsed. A few stones fell along the main hall, but it seemed to hold steady. Servants were running along the hallway, exiting the building quickly. When Raoul got outside, he was greeted by chaos. The flooding of people into the yard had left his men unable to tell mercenary from civilian at first glance. Fighting was still occurring outside the castle, and horn calls signaled that more troops were attacking from behind.

"Alanna," Raoul yelled. "Get over here."

Alanna motioned her squire over to finish healing a man bleeding prodigiously from the leg and ran over to Raoul.

"I need you to make my voice loud," Raoul said.

Alanna nodded, placing her hand on the back of his neck.

Raoul whistled, and the sound echoed across the castle grounds out to the forest, making those close to him cower. "Barner of Genlith is dead. His body is buried under the rubble of the castle dungeons. We have Lady Jaid. The rebellion is over. Lay down your arms now, and the Crown will consider merciful action towards you. Continue fighting and you will die at the end of one of our swords or the end of a noose."

A few of the mercenaries that Raoul could see continued to fight, but most of their companions laid down their arms. The sounds outside the castle quieted, but horn calls still sounded from the forest. Raoul signaled to three squads of the Own to return to the forest to provide reinforcements.

"Raoul, we are beginning a makeshift hospital over here. Let me see to her and your leg," Alanna said quietly.

Raoul limped over and put Jai down. She stood unsteadily on her feet and looked about blankly. Alanna put her hand on the girl, and Jai jumped away.

"It's okay, Blue Jay. She just wants to heal you," Raoul said.

Jai's eyes clouded over and she didn't respond. Alanna reached out to touch her again, and Jai skittered away. Alanna frowned and then reached down to heal Raoul's leg.

"I think at this point, forcing her to let me heal her will be more damaging then letting those wounds stay put for a bit. She needs to clean them out soon though. I'm a little worried about internal bruising. If she shows signs of an increase in pain, come get me," Alanna said, once she'd finished.

Raoul nodded and got up. Maggie walked over, a bandage wrapped around her arm.

"Jai?" she said softly. "I have some clothes for you."

When Jai didn't respond, Maggie looked over at Raoul, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Come on, Jai," Raoul said, his voice as quiet as Maggie's. Slowly he reached out a hand, and touched Jai's back. Jai flinched, but didn't move. Maggie shook a light shirt out and took one of Jai's hand's easing the sleeve on. Jai let her put on the shirt, then dutifully picked up her feet so Maggie could slide breeches on her.

"We need to get her back to her fief," Maggie said.

Raoul nodded. "I know. Can you stay with her? I need to get out to the forest."

Maggie nodded, guiding Jai into a sitting position and taking a seat next to her. When Raoul began to walk away, Jai stood up and ran after him.

"Jai, I need you to stay here," Raoul said firmly. "It's too dangerous out there. I promise I will come back, and then we'll go to your fief. Do you understand?"

Jai looked at him blankly, clutching his arm. A horn call sounded, indicating that the battle in the forest was over. After a brief internal argument, Raoul sighed and took Jai's hand. He walked over to Drum and helped her onto him, grimacing internally at the hiss of pain she let out when she sat on the saddle. Raoul mounted behind her. He held the reins with one hand, and held her to his chest with the other. He moved quickly to the forest. A hundred yards in, he met the main force, led by Lord Wyldon.

"What's the situation?" he asked.

Wyldon raised an eyebrow at Jai's presence, but simply said, "We have four knights who came leading men-at-arms from behind. Jai's people and the Riders saved us. Kept them away from us till we had enough defeated in the front to turn. Our own reinforcements arrived a few moments ago, and they all laid down arms, realizing they were defeated. Is Barner really dead?"

Raoul nodded.

"Damn, It'll be hard to know who all supported him then. Who killed him?"

Raoul looked down at Jai.

Wyldon breathed in sharply, taking in Jai's blank expression. Suddenly, she cried out, wriggling out of Raoul's grasp and nearly falling when she hit the ground. She scrambled over to where the dead were being laid out and fell to her knees next to a man's body.

"Please tell me that's not Sameth," Raoul said.

Wyldon sighed. "He took on two of the knights, managed to kill one of them before the other one got him. He saved all of us. Smart warrior and leader. It's a shame. Did she know him?"

Raoul nodded, watching Jai pluck at Sameth's sleeve helplessly. "I want to get the injured back to her fief. There's still an off-chance more reinforcements will show up not knowing that its over, and we can turn them back and get organized there," Raoul said, as he pulled off his armor quickly. He stretched out his back and then moved over to Jai.

"Come on, Jai," Raoul said, touching her gently on the back. She flinched, but she continued touching Sameth's sleeve.

"Let's go, sweet," Raoul whispered in her ear. "We need to get you cleaned up."

Jai turned her head up, looking up at him like a lost little girl. For the first time, he remembered the look on her face when he'd first met her. On her face once again was that look of absolute despair and powerlessness. Slowly, gently, he took her by the hands and led her away from Sameth's body.

He helped Jai back in the saddle, holding her sidesaddle this time to try and make the ride less painful. She leaned against him, still silent. Raoul rode back to Genlith quickly. Once he'd arrived, he dismounted and helped Jai down. Seeing Maggie, he beckoned her over.

"Jai, I'm going to go talk to Alanna. You stay with Maggie. I'll be right back," Raoul said, gesturing to show what he was saying. Maggie took Jai's hand, tears rolling down her cheeks once again as she looked at her friend. Raoul walked over to Alanna, turning to give Jai a reassuring smile when he'd moved a little away from her

"How are we doing?" he asked Alanna softly. Looking around the makeshift hospital, he noticed that Kel sat next to Dom's bed with Alanna's squire.

"You're sergeant will be fine," Alanna replied. "You lost three from the Own. Ten more besides that on our side here. I don't know about the forest. We've got all the injured in pretty good shape."

"Can you move them? I'd like to get back to Jai's fief. We'd be safer there," Raoul said.

"And it might do her some good," Alanna said shrewdly.

Raoul nodded. "That too."

"Why don't you lead half of the Own back with the most easily movable. I'll bring the rest back in wagons with the rest of the Own and our soldiers."

"Thank you, Alanna," Raoul said. "What should I do about healing her?"

"I'll send Neal back with you. At this point he can handle things if an emergency comes up, but it would probably be better if I did the healings, since I'd guess she'll be even more skiddish around male strangers. Try to get her cleaned up. A good warm bath would do her good, but don't scrub the scabs, just pat them. Bandage anything bleeding afterwards and try to get some water and bread in her."

Raoul nodded and walked over to Fly. He told Flyn to get the troops together and help the injured get mounted as well as round up the prisoners, then he walked back over to Jai and Maggie.

"We're going back to your fief now, Jai," Raoul said, reaching out to push her hair out of her face, stomach knotting even more as her face stayed blank.

"Is she going to be okay?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know," Raoul said.

"She's my best friend. I tell her everything," Maggie said, choking up slightly. "I do everything with her. She was the one who gave me the courage to join the Riders. She was the one who talked Da down after he got angry."

"I know," Raoul said. "Let's get her home. That should help her."

The ride took a long time, and Raoul's anxiety mounted the whole way, afraid he'd never get Jai back again. When they neared the fief, Derrek rode up next to Raoul.

"Do you mind if I go talk to Sameth's family?" Derrek said. "I'd rather they heard the news from me."

"Of course. And Derrek, I'm sorry for your loss," Raoul said.

Derrek nodded and fell back once again.

At last, they rode through the gate to Jai's fief. Raoul dismounted and helped Jai down. He guided her towards the door to the castle when it opened, revealing Nana.

"Jai," the woman cried, running to her mistress. "Baby girl, what happened?"

Nana hugged her, but Jai didn't respond.

"What happened?" the older woman asked, looking at Raoul.

"Barner," Raoul responded. "Can you get a bath drawn up in her room? She needs to be cleaned, carefully, and bandaged. Some bread and water too. Sir Alanna is on her way. She'll heal her when she gets there."

Nana nodded and moved to lead the girl away. Jai clutched Raoul's hand, so he walked with them up to her room. He entered the room and sat her down while the water was drawn for a bath. Once it was ready, Raoul got up to leave, but Jai reached out and wrapped her arms around him. Looking down at the girl, he stroked her hair, then said, "I'll take care of her, Nana. You can leave us."

Nana frowned, but nodded and left. Once the door was closed, Raoul carefully pealed off all of Jai's clothes, biting the inside of his cheek as he examined the cuts and bruises on her. He helped her into the bath and picked up a soft sponge. Carefully, he cleaned every inch of her skin. He picked up one arm, then the other. Next, he washed each of her legs, then moved the sponge over her back, stomach and breasts. Once he'd cleaned all her skin, he gently leaned her head back and poured part of a pitcher of water over her hair. He took some soap and rubbed it into her hair, before pouring the rest of the pitcher to rinse it out.

He picked her up carefully and got her out of the water. He patted her dry with a towel and wrapped the linen Nana had left by the bed around a wound on her arm and the cuts on her hands and feet. Then he pulled a clean loincloth and a nightgown out of her wardrobe. He helped her into it and sat her down in the chair. He pulled a comb slowly through her hair, detangling it slowly, repeating the motions he'd watched her go through every morning during the week she'd stayed with him. Then, he squeezed the water out of her hair and helped her into the bed. He handed her a glass of water and helped her hold it to her mouth, then managed to get her to eat a few bites of bread. He tucked the covers around her, and sat next her, stroking her hair. Finally, the girl's eyes began to close slowly, despite her attempts to keep them open, and she fell asleep.

----

Only a few more chapters left......this one was hard to write, and im not totally satisfied with it, but whatevs.....review and tell me what you think....


	23. Chapter 23

"We can't prove the connection between Barner and the Lord of Stone Mountain. It's obvious. We all know, but we can't prove it," Gary said, his frustration clear. "She could prove it, if she'd just talk."

"This is hardly her fault, Gary," Alanna said, putting her hand on Raoul's arm to stop his angry retort.

"Well, we've had all of those lords confined to the castle for four weeks now. We can't wait for her to connect the dots any longer. We'll have to just push it through," Gary replied. "There's going to be grumbling, especially if we decide to execute Burchard.

"Maybe it would be better if we didn't anyways. We could fine them. Follow the obedience through poverty route," Jon said, looking speculatively at Jai. The girl showed no signs of hearing the conversation. She just sat in the window seat in Raoul's study and stared out the window. The same thing she'd done every day since they left her fief.

"He'll starve his people," said Raoul. "He'll let them die before he buys one less jewel a year."

"I agree though; we can't let him swing. We don't know that he was even knew what was going on, since he didn't send any reinforcements directly," Gary said.

"He insisted on their marriage," Raoul said angrily. "Clearly, he knew what was going to happen."

"He should swing just for forcing her into that marriage," Thayet snapped. "We know enough. We need to send a clear message. Jai deserved that amount of justice after what she went through."

"He's her father," Gary said. "We don't know that she'd want him to die."

"I want him dead." The coldness in Jai's voice reverberated in the room as she uttered her first words since being rescued.

"What did you say?" Gary asked as Raoul half-stood up, unsure of what to do.

Jai turned and look at him, the steely anger of her words was reflected in her face. "Are you stupid as well as an impossible ass?" she asked Gary. "I said I want him dead for what he'd done. For what he did to me, to the people of Stone Mountain, to my brothers, and most of all for what he did to my mother. And I want her to swing, too. Justine pushed this as much as anyone. If you need me to testify, I will. Now why don't you run along and arrange all of that and stop sitting around blaming me because your too scared to do something about a fairly obvious rebellion plot."

"Don't you talk—"

"Gary," Raoul interrupted. "That's enough. You got what you wanted. She'll testify. I think this meeting is over now."

"Agreed. We'll get the trials set up for the Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain," Jon said, taking Gary by the arm and steering him out of the room. Everyone else filed out after them quickly, leaving Raoul and Jai alone together.

"Jai?" Raoul finally said, taking a few steps towards the girl, then hesitating.

"I'm sorry. I know you must have been worrying. I just can't separate the now and the then. It's like I have two brains, one here and one there and I can't tell which one was real. I keep seeing his thoughts over and over, and the memories of what'd happened. They seem just as real as what was happening here, and they keep overlapping and I don't know what is happening or if I am controlling myself or not. I still have the second mind, but I was listening and suddenly I was just so angry that it was like I could burst through the wall between and put myself here."

"You're still seeing and feeling the other things though?"

Jai nodded.

"Do you think you'll ever stop?"

Jai shrugged, her eyes sad. "Goddess I hope so. I'm not much use to either of us if I don't."

"I have to go to Scanra after Kel's ordeal in three days."

"I know. After the trial, I'm going to go back to my fief. I need to do this myself, Raoul. I've been using you as an anchor to this reality. I have to be able to anchor myself."

Raoul nodded slowly. "Alright."

Jai turned and looked out the window. She touched the pane of glass with her fingertip. "Please, goddess," she whispered to herself. "Please help me make the thoughts go away."

Raoul walked over to her slowly, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his chin on the top of her head.

"I've missed you," he whispered.

Jai closed her eyes and leaned against him, rubbing her temples. "I've missed me, too," Jai said, her voice equally soft. "I miss the clarity of knowing real and imaginary, and I've missed us more than anything. I miss actually being able to help you, but I just…it's all so jumbled. So, so jumbled."

"Hush," Raoul said, pulling her fingers away from her head and speaking into her ear. "You do help me. Just having you near helps me. Hearing your voice helps me. What I need you to focus on is helping yourself."

When Jai didn't respond, Raoul's heart sank slightly as she continued to look out the window, a familiar vacant expression returning to her face. A knock came at the door, then it opened. Nana smiled sadly at Raoul.

"Are you ready for bed, Jai?" she asked.

Jai looked at her and frowned, then she looked back up at Raoul. "Not tonight, Nana," she said carefully.

Nana smiled and ran over, hugging the girl tightly and letting out a deep sigh of relief. "Welcome back, darling girl," she said, before leaving and shutting the door firmly behind her. Jai yawned, and Raoul smiled. "Come on. You need to sleep," he said.

He took her hand and led her back to the bedroom. He unlaced her gown and slid her clothes off before getting one of his shirts out for her to sleep in. He slid it over her head, then pulled the sheets back so she could slip under them. He undressed, leaving on his breeches, and slid in after her. He curled around her, finally giving in to his desires and kissing her neck gently, before falling into a deep sleep.

-----------

So close to the end. Don't you want to know what happens? Tell me so! Review!


	24. Chapter 24

Four days after Kel passed through the Chamber of the Ordeal, Jai testified against her father and Justine. Jai's swings from lucidity to incomprehension had been fairly unpredictable, but she'd held steady through the trial. The two of them were quickly sentenced to death, along with the Lord of Genlith and one other lord. Two other lords were sentenced to life long imprisonments, along with several sons of the various conspirators.

After the trial, she relapsed, her disconnect from reality as bad as it had been before she first spoke. Official war was declared not long after the trial, and Raoul had to return to his men at the front. Third Company had been out there too long without him. She slept in his bed the night before he left for the only second time since she'd been kidnapped. When he woke up, she was fully dressed, standing at his window looking out. He got up and wrapped his arms around her, scolding himself internally for feeling relieved that she was solid.

"Please come back."

Raoul smiled, grateful to hear her voice again. "I have a hundred men who think it's their job to make sure I come back. I promise you. I will come back. I hope you're here, and only here, when I return."

Jai turned around in his arms and kissed him on the cheek. "I hope so, too," she whispered in his ear. Then she drew away, and walked out of the room, pausing in the doorway to blow him a kiss and managing to summon a shadow of a smile before she left, closing the door.

For the entire year that followed, Raoul battled Scanrans along the northern border and thought about Jai. He wondered how she was doing and hoped she was healing. He constantly imagined the future they could have together. When he woke, he imagined waking to her staring at him, then giving him a smile and a kiss. When he wrote reports to Jonathan, he imagined her flitting around distracting him with her chatter and laughter. When he ate dinner, he imagined sitting down to eat with her and tossing peas at nearby noblemen. When he watched the refugee children run around before heading to Kel's camp, he imagined watching his and Jai's children grow. And when he got into bed at the end of each day, he could think of nothing but Jai.

When his former squire destroyed the strongest weapon the Scanrans had, and the war gradually came to a close, Jon gave Raoul a month off of boarder duty to return to the capital with Third Company and recruit and train new members, while Second Company left duty at the capital and returned to fight Scanra. When they arrived at the castle, Raoul was still trying to decide whether he should just do what he wanted and ride to Jai's fief the next day or be more cautious and write to her first.

As Third Company's horses walked slowly towards the stables, Raoul saw a woman in a blue-grey dress standing by the Own's practice courts. Seeing the breeze tug her white blond hair out of the ribbon that held it in place and recognizing the low off the shoulders cut of the dress, Raoul smiled; she was wearing the dress he had once told her was his favorite, the dress she'd worn the day after he'd first kissed her. As Jai ran toward him, he dismounted Drum and in a few long strides had her in his arms. He spun her around and then put her down on the ground, one arm firmly around her slim waist. Placing his other hand on her neck, he looked down at her and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Instead of kissing her, sweeping her off her feet and carrying her to the bedroom like he wanted to, he simply asked, "How have you been?"

Jai smiled, the first real smile Raoul had seen from her since before she'd been captured. "I've been okay. Slowly but surely I've healed myself, put myself back together. Sorted out the real, and gotten rid of everything else. Things have been hard, but, you know, they're starting to look up now." As she finished speaking, she tightened her arms around his neck and pulled herself up so her lips were almost touching his. "In fact, I think a kiss might make it all better."

"Just one kiss?" Raoul asked, feeling her shiver in his arms as his lips moved against hers.

"No," she whispered. "Not just one kiss. A whole lifetime of kisses and love and…" she trailed off, looking up at him with a smile.

Not needing anymore of an invitation, Raoul pulled her up to him in a deep kiss. Oblivious to the hollers of surprise and the catcalls from Third Company, who had watched the whole exchange in complete and utter shock, the two kissed passionately until, unable to resist the temptation of her body a moment longer, Raoul picked Jai up and carried her back to his room.

Six Years Later

When Third Company rode back into the castle, they were more than a little weary after their three-month chase of some unusually wily bandits. Almost to the barracks, all the men smiled in recognition of the woman waving to them, a baby boy on her hip. Watching the wind mold Jai's dress around her rounding belly and tug loose her hair, Raoul felt the familiar feelings of love, wonder and desire fill him. As they rode closer, shouts of "Da, Da, Da," filled the air as a pack of boys came running towards the men. Raoul dismounted and kneeled, letting the four boys launch themselves on him. Laughing, he hugged his four oldest sons tightly, before shooing them away and moving to hug his wife and kiss his youngest son on the forehead. He then removed Sammy from his wife's hip and handed him to Bubba. Tugging Jai as close as possible, Raoul kissed her sweetly, placing his hand on her stomach and letting the relaxing influence her presence still brought wash over him. Hearing the wolf-whistles of his men, he turned and yelled, "Silence, you insubordinate curs. See to your horses and be gone with you."

Turning back to Jai, he asked quietly, "How are you feeling?"

Jai laughed, "Pretty much the same as I felt for the majority of the last six years. How can you still worry after we've already been through this five times before?"

Raoul shrugged. "I worry. So, what do you think? Is this the last time we're going through this? Is our Esme in there?"

Jai nodded. "I'm sure of it."

"How can you be sure?"

"I was right the last five times wasn't I? I'm telling you. This one's a girl."

"Fair enough. Although I still say you got lucky the last five times. Did you and the boys enjoy staying at your fief?"

Jai nodded, and, in her usual whirlwind speed of speech, said, "We spent about four weeks there, and had a wonderful time. I taught Bubba how to fish, and he got one so large on his line he was pulled straight into the river. Thank the goddess I wasn't this big yet or I have no idea how I would have gotten him out of there. Then we spent two weeks at Stone Mountain and then went and visited your father at Goldenlake for two more weeks. I had only meant to stay for one, but your father had really made a mess of the accounts for both Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, and it took us awhile to sort it out. He took my advice and planted apple orchards in Goldenlake. Of course, Bubba and Francis tried to climb them, and I only just got there in time to catch Bubba as he fell out of it, and luckily Nana was there to catch Francis when he decided he wanted to jump out of the tree since falling had worked out so well for Bubba. But the trees really are lovely, and they already turning a very nice profit."

"Just what we need. More money. What are we going to do with all of it?"

Jai shrugged. "Well, I want to expand the school at Goldenlake, and there's a few students who I think we should fund to go to the university. Also, since little Sammy's first word was joust, I suspect once he's speaking fully he'll join the other four in insisting he wants to be a knight. Getting them everything they need for knighthood will take up plenty of it. I need to talk to Lord Wyldon about getting Bubba a proper horse. Five is young for one, but I figure we can get him one of the smaller, mild-tempered mares and then all the children can learn to ride on her. Plus, the boys broke two windows and an expensive vase over the course of our journey, and as they get bigger I suspect more and more of our money will go towards paying for damages they inflict and also for feeding and clothing them, since they all seem determined to be as tall as you by the time they're thirteen. It's exhausting just to think about."

Raoul kissed her temple and gave her a slightly worried look. "Are you sure caring for all of them and the fiefs isn't too much work for you? Especially in your condition. I can get Kel to take care of things for awhile, so I can stay here and help out."

"Oh, stop fussing. Unlike some people, I have all the energy of youth to get me through the days, and you've kept me in this "condition" as you call it for essentially six years straight, so I don't think now is the time to begin worrying about it," she said, her voice teasing. "I'm serious, Raoul. I never in my life thought it was possible to be as happy as I am when I'm taking care of our children and running the fiefs. I like having things to do. I spent too much of my life cooped up in a room doing needlepoint. Really, you don't need to worry about me. I do miss you when you're gone, but every time you leave I get to look forward to our reunion, which always leads to such an…enjoyable night."

Her last words and the look that accompanied it had Raoul pulling her to him for deep kiss when he heard someone shouting his name. Turning, he saw Numair walking quickly towards them, Jon, Alanna and George trailing behind him.

"I found it," Numair shouted.

"You found what?" Raoul asked once Numair got closer.

"The prophecy that the seers were having visions about before the rebellion. Finally, after six years, I found it," Numair said, panting slightly. "The seer who prophesized it was named Elviere Damion Makoveric. He died over a century ago. He was rather full of himself and always thought his prophecies were rather lofty. He claimed this was a prophecy about Gods, which is why I couldn't find it, but Daine gave me a book about him for Christmas, and I was reading it and it mentioned this prophecy and so I looked in his first book, and it wasn't—"

"NUMAIR!" Alanna shouted. "Just tell us what it is. You insisted they hear it at the same time as all of us. They're here. Spit it out."

Numair glared at his friend, then opened the book he was holding and read, "If the five sons and the daughter of the Giantkiller and the Blue Jay are prevented from entering this world, Tortall will fall. Only the six can save Tortall from what will come."

Visuably shaken by the notion that their children had such a burden before them, Raoul and Jai turned to look at their sons. As Bubba wrestled Francis to the ground, coating them both with mud, the other three boys jumped on them, joining in the scramble.

"You know," Raoul said, "I think the Gods only showed us three just so they didn't scare us out of having any."

Jai laughed. "You have to admit, life would be boring without all of them."

Raoul smiled and kissed her, "You're not wrong.

Jai grinned up at him saucily.

"What has you so pleased?" Raoul asked, looking down at his wife in amusement.

"I told you this one was our Esme," she responded pertly.

Raoul grinned back and swept her off her feet, eliciting even more whoops from the men. "Excuse me friends. We can examine the notion that those five heathens and our unborn daughter will save Tortall later. But now, I haven't seen my wife in three very, very long months, and we have things to talk about."

Without another word, he carried her towards their bedroom. Jai giggled and kissed his neck, leaning happily against him. "What about the boys?" she whispered.

"The men will watch them," Raoul said, opening the door to their suite and then kicking it closed behind him. Jai moved her hand up the back of his neck, pulling herself closer and kissing him along his jaw. Years of practice had taught him how to unlace Jai's gown while he carried her, a skill he happily put to use as he carefully stepped over the building blocks that littered the floor of his study. Failing to notice the stack of books and shoes fresh from the store that stood next to the bedroom door, he tripped over them and sent them tumbling all over. "By the gods woman, don't you have enough books and shoes?" he asked, faking grumpiness.

Jai laughed and shook her head, kissing him just below his ear, her fingers sliding further up into his hair. Finally reaching their bed, he laid her on it and slid her dress off. He looked down at her, his eyes moving over the soft skin that was now all his, smiling as he glimpsed her lone freckle, nestled between the curve of her breast and the swell of her stomach. "I love you," he said, his hand circling her knee and moving slowly up her leg.

She breathed in sharply and closed her eyes. "I love you, too," she said softly, her breath hitching as his hand continued its slow journey up her thigh. She opened her blue eyes partway and gave him a satisfied smile, reaching her hand out to pull him on to the bed with her. "Now hurry up and show me how much you missed me," she said huskily, bringing his lips to hers as Esme kicked out inside her, reminding them both of her presence.

-----

FINISHED! Obviously there is a sequel here...whether I write it is really up to you......I'm putting it to you dear reviewers to decide what I do next.....1) Finish Prince Liam's Lioness 2) Sequel to Kalasin's Guard 3) This sequel......I can do all three if that's what you wish, but let me know what you think and what order you think I should do them in.

The sequel for this one will be different then any I've done before since the main character (Esme of course) will start off at 10--obviously low romance--since I love that stuff, I will of course use her older brothers, make nods to other characters and their children and what I imagine there up to, but it will be fairly different then my other stuff--which could be good for me.

So anyways I hope you enjoyed this--let me know what you thought was good and bad and what i should try and improve on in my next story and what my next story should be---im telling you now unless there's overwhelming desire for one of the other two, Prince Liam's Lioness will probably be finished first because a lot of people have been reading it, but you can definitely help choose which is number 2.

Thanks for all of you who have reviewed, (Kate and Mandi as my moth faithful reviewers get a special thanks) and especially thanks to those who helped me through my doubts at the beginning of this story--I ended up really loving it in the end, so I'm glad you made me finish.


End file.
